Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Andrezza Haddaway. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Andrezza, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
For 10 years in my home country, Brazil, I was in search of a diagnosis for the weirdest symptoms that I started to experience in my twenties. Numbness, weakness, blurry vision, optic neuritis, tingling, among so many other symptoms. None of the doctors I consulted and tests I’ve done could give me an answer. It was a mystery and a long journey until I finally met the one that could tell me what was happening to me. My Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis came in March of 2007 when I was at my worst. The left side of my body was completely numb. The right side of my body was completely weak. On top of that, the MS fatigue was so strong that I could barely stand. I couldn’t walk without someone holding my arm. I remember placing a chair beside the stove for me to cook because I just couldn’t stay standing for too long. When I found the right doctor he looked at me and said that I’d be ok, that I’d keep living my life the best way I can. I just needed to adapt to a new way of living. He sent me to the hospital to stay there for a week, taking medicines and steroids to take me out of that critical state at first. Then I was to start with an MS treatment months after leaving the hospital. The treatment was an injection that I had to apply myself every other day. By that time I was in complete survival mode. I’d do anything to make what I was feeling stop, and so I did. MS is a rare disease in Brazil. It took time to find an MS Specialist. My resilience was built along the years while facing many adversities, too may too count. I remember going to work while dragging my right leg around. I felt so unbalanced watching the scenes outside of the bus window. My vision used to get so blurry, that I had to close my eyes tightly because it made me feel dizzy. The motion in car rides always made my symptom flare. So my resilience was built from my frustration, sadness, setbacks, falling and getting up millions of times. I discovered an unbelievable amount of patience that I didn’t know I had.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I’m a Brazilian living in the US for 12 years. Love brought me here. I met my husband, who is an artist and also a photographer, through the photography community Flickr. We shared our photography there with people from around the world. It was pretty amazing to hear feedback and learn from a lot of talented people. Photography seems to be my guiding light through everything. Leaving my family in Brazil was the most difficult thing that I had done in my life, even more difficult than dealing with my MS diagnosis. My father died when I was 9 years old and my sister was 1. My mom, my sister and me are inseparable. We faced everything together our entire lives. They are everything to me. Sometimes I think it was something bigger than love (if that is even possible) that made me get into that plane bringing a box filled with 3 months of injections to treat my MS.
My husband was supportive since the beginning, when we were still talking as friends and sending emails to each other every day. It gave us the time we needed to open up about our lives without fear or pressure. Our relationship happened very organically, even through sharing about MS right at the beginning. Above anything else, we’re best friends. We are always truthful with each other about everything. Maybe trust was another thing that made me get into that plane to come all the way here.
We started our photography business together. Portraiture is my favorite type of photography. It wasn’t a difficult decision to go on this other journey with him. We do family photos, couples, maternity, boudoir and even some small weddings. We photograph sessions together, with me as the lead photographer and he shoots other angles. I love that we capture a session from different perspectives. The amount of variety in the end is great. It helps us capture the right moments. We love to connect with our clients and make their experience as much fun as possible! Maybe it’s my Brazilian way of approaching how to conduct a session, I don’t know. The fact is that we have fun! We put our heart and energy into that moment. We make sure our clients feel relaxed, happy and comfortable to be themselves. A lot of them end up becoming friends!
I do many personal photography projects on the side. Most of it is related to fine art portraiture, like this one of the woman in a pink dress inspired by Andrew Wyeth’s painting, Christina’s World. This photo was part of an art exhibition in a local gallery. The theme of the exhibition was “Fabulous Forgeries” where we would do something inspired by a famous artist. It brought me such an immense joy to do this project! I received a positive comment through my Instagram account from Wyeth’s granddaughter, Victoria Browning Wyeth. It really meant a lot!
Being creative makes me feel alive. I also try to express my MS symptoms through my photography. I made a project titled My Ms Journey—The Pain Behind The Beauty. It’s very difficult to express visually Ms symptoms, but I try as a way of bringing awareness. My husband helps me a lot and it became his project too. One of the images of me holding a flower bouquet with ants painted on my arms and hands, was painted by my husband. It expresses the symptom of tingling. It’s a symptom that I used to feel a lot before my diagnosis. Also, for the project I use something that is orange in the images, because it’s the color that represents Multiple Sclerosis awareness.
Recently I started something completely outside of my comfort zone, photographing local surfers. My husband surfs and loves surf photography and at some point I started joining him with my camera, learning some techniques with him. It opened a whole new world for me to explore. It was impossible not to fall in love with the surf community. They have such dedication and passion that is so captivating. I’ve captured some of my all time favorite portraits. There’s a truth rooted in their essence that’s hard to describe in words. It’s part of their soul. In that exact moment when I press the shutter, there’s no maybes or doubts. It’s all real and so alive. It hit me differently from other people I had photographed. Plus I can play and do things I don’t usually do with a regular portrait session. I love shooting double exposures and do it in the camera without using any editing program. This double exposure I did for my session with Teagen Alexander is an absolute favorite. I shot first his hand doing the shaka and the second shot of him looking at the horizon. Luckily I got it right on my first attempt!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
This is a difficult question! Especially because we all have our own personality, our own specific qualities that will help us along our journey. For me, being perceptive helps me to learn from others and from life. It helped me to make choices and discover my path. I shouldn’t use the word fearless, because I have so many fears, way too many. But not being afraid to confront my fears has helped me to move forward and not be afraid of taking risks or taking a leap of faith. I have in my mind that whatever choice I make, I’ll gain something. But it also means that I could lose something else. I have to be prepared to deal with the consequences. I can’t let fear stop me from trying. And being patient helps me to understand that it takes time to reach, to build, to learn, to become. It’s all about the journey and not the destination.
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
I started sometime ago a deeply rewarding project where I photograph other MS warriors (that’s how we call each other, as warriors) doing something that brings them joy. I titled the project, The Beauty Beyond The Pain. It doesn’t matter how small it could be. It doesn’t matter their limitations. If it brings them joy and steers their mind away from the struggles of dealing with MS, anything is worth it! It’s so good for my soul to be able to document other fellow MS warriors having a joyful moment. This disease takes so much away from us. It’s beyond frustrating. My focus is on what MS cannot take away from us. When I’m out there with my camera it’s like MS doesn’t exist. For that moment, I feel free. The woman with the wind in her hair enjoying the sunset is one of the people that I already had the pleasure of capturing.
Unfortunately I don’t have contact with a lot of local people battling MS in my area.
If any of your readers live in Virginia Beach/Norfolk/Hampton Roads area, don’t hesitate to contact me. I’d love to meet you and include you in this project.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://am-photography.smugmug.com/
- Instagram: @andrezza_haddaway
Image Credits
Andrezza Haddaway
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