Meet Angel Wang

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Angel Wang a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Angel, we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hops that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.

For most of my life, I felt like an alien, dressed in a human suit and pretending that I existed. Ever since my childhood, I have felt very different from others. Not just because I grew up in a dysfunctional and disconsolate family, but also because I feel fundamentally different from everyone else. I can’t explain why, or articulate my feelings properly, so I turn my frustration and despair into art. I use art as a medium to express myself, and sometimes as a documentation of my emotions, anxiety, depression, trauma, and pain; because all those internal processes and feelings are difficult to express through words, creating artworks can help bring those out of the subconscious into something visible. Even though my past is dejectedly heavy, it can transform into something meaningful through the process of therapeutic creation.
Another thing that has helped me tremendously is studying psychology, particularly biopsychology or behavioral neuroscience in autism and PTSD. This year, I have invested a lot of my time in self-development and discovery, so I took some comprehensive psychological assessments to get evaluated. After spending my whole life second-guessing, blaming, and hating myself, I felt a monumental sense of relief when I got my diagnosis; my struggles and pains are finally identifiable and curable, as I start to accept myself. Being diagnosed with autism and PTSD motivated me to research intensively about those neurodevelopmental conditions: I want to know how exactly PTSD affects the brain and the body, how different is autistic brain, and what does it actually mean to be autistic? Through learning and apprehending numerous psychology and biopsychology books, research papers, videos, and other sources, I begin to understand myself better. Everything starts to become more intelligibly coherent, and for the first time, I feel like I can finally make peace with myself, instead of fighting against myself.
The continuous journey of healing may be tedious, draining, and sometimes painful and crestfallen, but I remain amenably hopeful.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I’m an artist and a current tattoo apprentice at Art Collector Tattoo. Being autistic means that I will always have difficulties with people and the environment, but I’m glad that I can use my artistic skills to connect with others and create memorable designs together. Interestingly, many of my tattoo clients are neurodivergent, so I get to engage in deep conversations such as trauma and life stories with them, which makes the process much more enjoyable. I actually like being a tattoo therapist since psychology is my special interest, hearing people’s stories and providing them affirmation brings me joy, not to mention that I get to create art on their bodies!
Recently, I opened my first Etsy shop where I sell merchandise printed with my drawings. Right now there are only cute stickers but I intend to include more products, such as keychains, pins, postcards, and probably some original artwork or prints. Also, I intend to explore more on the subject of mental health awareness and create designs about it.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Self-acceptance, forgiveness, and kindness are probably three of the most essential qualities. When I was younger, I felt an enormous amount of shame because I had more weaknesses than most people. I was shamed by my parent, teachers, peers, and society, everyone just criticized me for being stupid, oppositional, or lazy without actually trying to understand me. But now, accepting that I have a neurodivergent brain lifts a lot of my burden. Instead of ruminating on my imperfections, I try to focus on why, and how can I reshape it into a strength. For instance, being slow can be perceived as a flaw, or I can perceive it in this way: my brain requires a slower processing time because it gathers more data than average people; it performs better in cost-benefit analysis than rapid intuitive response. However, I don’t think that we should accept every part of ourselves. Some of our weaknesses are encouraged to be improved through trial, growth, and – forgiveness.
Without self-acceptance, it can be impossible to practice forgiveness and kindness as they are all intertwined with each other. I used to be a hostile person because of my complex traumatic experiences. Holding on to those haunting memories brought me nothing but guilt, aggression, and depression. I couldn’t forgive the people who tormented me, but more precisely, I couldn’t forgive myself – for being weak, vulnerable, and broken. It took me many years to eventually let go, to accept my past, and to have grace for myself and others. Humans are innately imperfect and unfortunately, traumas are an inevitable part of human existence. What we can do is to have compassion and understanding for ourselves and others, and treat people how we want to be treated. A little bit of kindness may be able to break a vicious cycle.
Honestly, I can’t acquire those qualities without the unconditional love and support from my husband. He is the most loving and benevolent person I have ever met, and I have learned so much from him. So I recommend always having a positive influence in your life, and reaching out to people who can be your mentor and or companion. Another thing that I desperately wish people would do is to read psychology books, or if you prefer a different approach, go see a therapist. Understanding how our brains function and develop proper cognitive patterns can be beneficial to our self-awareness and self-agency. For example, there is a term in psychology called projection, which describes the subconscious behavior of attributing one’s internal thoughts and insecurities to external factors. We see many cases on the internet, where someone may criticize celebrities for being untalented or unattractive due to their insecurities in life. By acknowledging and improving our shortcomings can teach us to be humble, more forgiving and kind to others because everyone struggles with themselves.

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

When I feel overwhelmed, I would need to retreat and take a break. Go to a dark room, embrace my solitude, reduce stimulation and meditate. Sometimes I would practice catharsis such as crying, exercising, or punching a pillow. When I feel my mental state is back to equilibrium, I can do things that give me pleasure, such as learning about psychology, drawing, watching movies, playing with my pets, spending time with my husband, and so on.
Different things work for different people. Some people may find taking a walk, being with nature, or talking to people work better for them. But I recommend always regulating your thoughts and emotions first, otherwise, your nervous system will be dysregulated and you will get triggered by everything and everyone.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wangelart/
• Other: https://wangelart.etsy.com/