Meet Anitra St. Hilaire

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Anitra St. Hilaire. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Anitra, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?

I learned resilience as a child, though I didn’t have the word for it then. I grew up with an alcoholic father who could be cruel. Living with him meant constantly adjusting…reading his moods, protecting myself from his words, and figuring out how to stay steady in an unpredictable environment. Resilience started as survival, the quiet kind that helps you endure what you can’t control while still finding small ways to feel safe.

My mother taught me another form of resilience. For years, I thought she was weak for staying with him. I couldn’t understand why she would accept that kind of life. Later, I saw the truth in her choices. She was trying to create stability for her children in the only way she knew — by keeping both parents under one roof. Her resilience wasn’t about endurance; it was about holding a long view, staying committed to what she valued, even when it cost her peace.

Between the two of them, I learned that resilience is not a single trait. It’s a set of responses. Sometimes it’s quick thinking and adaptation. Sometimes it’s persistence through uncertainty. It’s the willingness to stay present inside hard things without losing yourself. That’s what I carry into my work and life: the ability to bend without disappearing and to rebuild with perspective instead of bitterness.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

Professionally, I wear two hats that share the same purpose: helping people do their best work in a way that feels meaningful and sustainable.

As Vice President of People at ThreeFlow, a remote tech company, I focus on creating an environment where people can do exceptional work in a values-driven culture. My role centers on keeping our culture healthy, our expectations clear, and our people supported.

I’m also an executive coach and founder of My Authentopia, where I work with successful but unfulfilled professionals who want satisfaction that lasts longer than a promotion. My clients come to me when they’ve checked every box and still feel empty. Together, we cut through the noise to rediscover who they are beneath the ambition. It’s personal work with professional consequences: people lead with greater calm, make braver choices, and finally feel at home in their own success.

Right now, I’m exploring a program about letting go for people who care too much, replay slights, or stay tied to what drains them. I also recently launched Off My Chest, a podcast about the moments we usually keep to ourselves and what they reveal about how we live and lead. Across everything I do, my goal is the same: to help people build lives and careers that reflect who they truly are.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Looking back, three things have defined my path: awareness, communication, and discernment.

Awareness has been the foundation. Early in my career, I believed success came from control. Over time, I learned it comes from seeing reality clearly: yourself, others, and the systems around you. Awareness allows you to stop reacting and start choosing. For anyone early in their journey, that means noticing your patterns and your impact, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Communication has been the bridge. My work has required me to say difficult things in ways people can hear and still feel respected. That takes empathy, timing, and clarity. You build it by practicing honesty without aggression, by telling the truth plainly, and staying curious about how it lands.

Discernment ties it all together. It is the ability to know what deserves your attention, what does not, and when to step back. Ambitious people often think resilience means pushing harder, but discernment reveals that restraint is also a form of strength. To cultivate it, pause before reacting and ask what outcome you truly want.

Together, awareness, communication, and discernment make it possible to move through challenge with steadiness, grace, and self-respect.

We’ve all got limited resources, time, energy, focus etc – so if you had to choose between going all in on your strengths or working on areas where you aren’t as strong, what would you choose?

I believe it’s better to go all in on your strengths. When you build from what’s natural, your work feels lighter and more effective. When you chase being well-rounded, you often lose more than energy; you lose your sense of self.

Early in my career, I tried to be good at everything. I wanted to anticipate every need, manage every detail, and never fall short. On the surface, it looked like excellence. In truth, it was fear. Fear of being exposed. Fear of not being good enough. I was working to prove my worth instead of using my strengths. The turning point came when I stopped trying to cover every base and focused on what I did exceptionally well: clear communication, calm under pressure, and seeing patterns others missed. Once I leaned into those, everything shifted. My teams grew stronger, decisions came faster, and I felt more like myself at work.

My advice is simple: know what makes you effective and build around it. Address weaknesses only when they damage your credibility or your integrity. Growth isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about becoming fully yourself, without apology.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.myauthentopia.com
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anitrasthilaire/
• Other: Podcast: https://offmychestpodcast.buzzsprout.com
  Newsletter: https://newsletter.myauthentopia.com/