We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Ann Caldwell a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Ann, so good to have you with us today. We’ve got so much planned, so let’s jump right into it. We live in such a diverse world, and in many ways the world is getting better and more understanding but it’s far from perfect. There are so many times where folks find themselves in rooms or situations where they are the only ones that look like them – that might mean being the only woman of color in the room or the only person who grew up in a certain environment etc. Can you talk to us about how you’ve managed to thrive even in situations where you were the only one in the room?
The trick I’m learning to being effective is to be REAL. People who master the art of being REAL are usually old. They are effective because they fearlessly dare to be REAL. I have been working on being REAL ever since I heard a sermon by Chuck Swindoll and read the book entitled “The Velveteen Rabbit” ( yes I have a copy). In the book, the rabbit ask the Skin Horse what it meant to be real.
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you….” ” Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse…. ” When you’re Real you don’t mind being hurt..” “Does it happen all once,… he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are REAL, most of your hair is loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because by the time you are REAL you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
In reference to what it means to be REAL, I’m reminded of a story about something that happened while I was in the process of helping a friend fix up her home, I decided to purchase a chair from a local thrift store for one of her rooms. I struggled to get that chair out of my car and rolled it over to her front door (with the help of my hand car). When she answered the door, I gleefully announced, I have brought you a present! I could tell by the look on her face, that she did not share the same enthusiasm for this piece of furniture that I did. She said that she didn’t like it and apologized for not liking it. She was being REAL (Yet a lesson I learned about how to respond to other people who are REAL ) I loaded it back into my car and joined her inside for a strawberry fruit bar. If I broke easily, had sharp edges or had to be carefully kept, this story would not have ended well at all. The chair is in my home office
How am I effective in a room full of people who don’t look like me? Simple, I tell the truth, show compassion and express kindness. According to Skin Horse, that’s REAL.
AnnCaldwell
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I’m a vocalist a performing artist who likes to do hany “woman” projects. I am currently working on a children’s book ( isn’t everybody?) entitled “Going to See A Man About a Cow”. I will be in Myrtle Beach Museum on September 2 to do a storytelling a song presentation
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Be prepared. Be punctual. Be personable. Nobody likes a primadonna. Folks will tolerate you, but they won’t care about you.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
Because I am call upon to do many things by many people, my number one challenge is ADHD. I am easily distracted and overwhelmed. One of the ways that I attack these demons is with much prayer and a three item to do list.
Contact Info:
- Facebook: Ann Caldwell
- Youtube: Ann Caldwell
Image Credits
Diandra Dellucci Andrew Whitiker Brenda Peart
