Meet Anne Pennypacker

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Anne Pennypacker. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Anne below.

Anne, sincerely appreciate your selflessness in agreeing to discuss your mental health journey and how you overcame and persisted despite the challenges. Please share with our readers how you overcame. For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.

My father began to develop Alzheimer’s before COVID spread across the US, and once the 2020 Shelter-in-Place (SIP) shut everyone in, the disease accelerated. He is still considered in the early stages, however a lot of time was lost and it affected my entire family in the process. Being a social animal, my mother didn’t respond well to the isolation of the SIP and with ageing-related anxieties reverberating between the two of them, it led her to declare that it was time to move to a one story house closer to senior and Alzheimer care. This meant selling the family house. Some of the family members wanted to buy it within the family to keep it within family and minimize the emotional damage of this transition on the progress of my father’s Alzheimers.

Without shoveling through every single hurtful moment, brutal argument, gutted feelings and still-bleeding wounds, let’s just say a horrible war between every family member ignited and now, a year after the final sale, tears have been shed, trust has been lost, relationships are permanently damaged and the house is gone. During the holiday season, it also feels the family is gone, too. Throughout this tumultuous and painful time, I’ve been raising a baby to a toddler and trying to be the calm, confident foundation-building mother I always fantasized about being, except I never factored in the chaos element in those scenarios. It’s hard to shift from shit to glitter but good god I have been trying so hard and it is crushing.

One thing I think I’ve learned is that surviving this time had nothing to do with grace, and everything to do with strength and breathing. Also, hiking, drawing, baking and maybe also crying in the garage during nap times. And privately smashing pumpkins. Like a gorilla. And then cleaning up, finding creative podcasts to remind myself of the world of other dialogues that don’t involve my emotional mulch, listening to guided meditations, drinking chamomile, doing back stretches and going to sleep. I also find comfort in ranting at my supportive husband and friends, and laughing at funny videos wherever I find them. This, unfortunately leads to an unhealthy relationship with social media, so I’m working, one step at a time to close those doors and gravitate toward other things that make me happy, like pursuing writing and illustrating children’s books, which has amazingly created a new light from within and it gives me hunger, focus and excitement for the future again.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I always wanted to be an artist from very early on, but was raised to believe there is ‘no respect or money in that field’. Thinking I could side-step that bullet but remain in a creative field, I studied Art History and Anthropology at UCLA and was excited to work in a gallery or museum upon graduating. But the job market required hefty experience even for volunteer positions, and I was quickly out of opportunities and ideas, so I turned to temping, which exposed me to graphic design and marketing, which I immediately loved, so I went back to school to improve my design skillset, portfolio, and resume! Several stepping stones later, I discovered that illustration is an amazing way to apply your artistic chops entrepreneurially, so I went back to school a third time, to complete an AA in Art during the COVID SIP, purchased an ipad and use Procreate daily to work on professional and personal projects. There are gazillions of rocks in the stream but the water keeps flowing, and it makes quite a nice sound as it goes. My groaning and shrieking hasn’t sounded as pretty but I’m tumbling forward to what I would like to consider is a happier career and hustle all in one.

My company name is Anne Pennypacker’s RYPE Ideas and within that name, my services cover design, marketing, photography and illustration. I also do fine art painting, which I sell at local art shows; my recent products are miniature breasts, painted on circular panels, tiny leaping and farting piñatas and other curios on tiny canvases of varying shapes. It seems the drum I beat daily is my illustration (mostly digital for now) of cats, mostly funny, sometimes farting or otherwise looking quite demure with all their feline muchness. What I’m really excited about but not sure if I will make the deadline *holds breath* is a complete calendar for next year, of giant cats resting on and playing with the landscapes of my hometown here in the Bay Area. Wish me luck, this should have happened probably in August but I’m an eleventh hour kind of gal, so if it’s not flying under a falling stone door with its Indiana Jones hat, then it’s just not my work method. (On personal projects, professional projects go by actual calendars, I promise!) After that, I’m really hopeful to publish or self publish what feels like a dozen books next year, some of which I’ve been working on since 2013.

If you like funny art, cats, farts, tomatoes looking at you weird, or just tiny artwork, I would say my art might make you smile. I also have artwork you can share to make your friends smile too, like a greeting card that you give to your friend, of a cat offering their fart as a gift. What more do you need in this world?

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Persistence – My journey is ongoing and every once and a while I learn something new about myself, a skill, an artist – it’s so exciting and fulfilling. If I didn’t have persistence, then today would never end. I like knowing tomorrow is rich with opportunities. You don’t know when you’re going to catch that break, it might be a second away, or after you make some sacrifices to allow yourself to really commit. You don’t know that hidden talent yet, so keep making mistakes until you find it. Keep f*cking going. I’ve been reading “Oh The Places You’ll Go” to my child recently and, wow, I guess I forgot that it’s an exhausting journey with so many ups and downs but the need and desire to keep pushing pays off personally.

Resources – Podcasts, libraries, schools, and people. Gather them like a hungry squirrel! I love going to school as an adult, I’m definitely a student for life and it’s so fulfilling and enriching in so many ways. I need to seek advice from people more, and I recommend it deeply. A single moment of picking the brain of someone more experienced than you is so valuable and it’s been a little while since I’ve done this. Sometimes when my compass is spinning, I realize it’s time for one of those talks.

Listening – I don’t do this enough! Active listening to understand what I need to do next, what would help me most, etc. It’s hard to do, but it would be foolish to reinvent the wheel when so many before you have carved paths, one of which would fit you best. Find it by listening, to yourself for one, and many many others as well. Don’t! Listen! To! The! Haters! (Even if one of them is you sometimes.)

What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?

Motherhood is a beast. Everyone thinks you’re so cute when you’re pregnant and then the moment you give birth, you’re automatically somehow doing it wrong by someone’s standards. It’s damning. Disney thinks you’re a villain, people on planes think you shouldn’t exist, and all the while, you’ve lost all autonomy because you’re fully consumed by trying to do right by your child, society, husband, family and home. I’m currently a SAHM who freelances and creates/sells artwork when the child is sleeping. I plan to eventually work PT soon and eventually enter the workforce when I’m not needed by everyone as much.

After the childcare, the shopping, cooking, cleaning, planning and coordinating, finding the energy or time to create is not even in peanuts, it’s crumbs. Creative projects are slow going and feel like a standstill some days. Someone recently told me to find time in 15 minute increments and that has helped. Putting my phone in another room has helped because of distractions like texting and social media. Sorting goals and setting deadlines is great and Lisa Congdon has an amazing online class for it, but it takes a long time and then I fall behind immediately. I try to boil daily goals down to only a few tasks and when it comes to bigger goals, I do one each day. But there are many times that I feel that heavy coat of exhaustion and simply push back just to get those 15 minutes in before bedtime. I think forgiving myself is necessary because the day only has so many minutes in it and I just need to put everything down and just breathe, and hope that more opportunities arrive tomorrow. I’m still learning about this struggle and many mothers say they didn’t do anything creative until their children were five. On that note, patience and listening have been incredibly helpful.

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