Meet Annie Lalla

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Annie Lalla. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Annie, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

I was so shy in my new high school I would sit in the girl’s bathroom and hide on a toilet during lunch., because I was too scared to to walk into the lunchroom and have no friends to sit beside.

Confidence and self-esteem were not online yet.

It wasn’t until my parents put me into a Tony Robbins workshop and a Bob Proctor seminar that I realized you could consciously change your attitude, choose your mindset & program your unconscious mind. There I learned to take charge of my thoughts and build a designer state by directing my attention to beliefs that were empowering rather than disempowering.

Over time, I created a system for raising self=esteem by noticing what gives me delight in real time, having a part of my self observe my experience of having delight, delighting in that and clapping for the whole thing.

Once three layers of self are engaged in an experience the process becomes generative, and it serves as engine that manufactures self=esteem in real time.

Being on a reconnaissance mission for hidden delights occurring in your own experience and delighting in your own delight IS the fastest way I’ve found to fall in love with your current moment, which is your life, which leads to you falling in love with yourself. This raises confidence and self-esteem simultaneously, as it increases your ability to feel happy, deserving and to cope with what life brings your way..

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

As a cutting edge Relationship Coach, I aim to upgrade emotional skills & map the complexities of romance. Specializing in love, sex & conflict resolution, I’ve created a suite of practical tools that resolve unconscious relational patterns, attachment wounds and recurrent conflict.

I help private clients develop collaboration skills that go beyond power struggles, shame or blame, while cultivating relational esteem across all their connections. With a fierce stand for True Love, I support individuals in creating intimate evolutionary relationships that last a lifetime.

I’m on a mission to shift the source code on how True Love is done in our culture. I want to change the fairytale from happily-ever-after to alive-ever-after. Because the opposite of dead is not happy, it’s alive. And the purpose of relationships is to expand your aliveness and help you fall more in love with yourself and the world.

I work with singles & couples 1-on-1 and I teach several online courses on becoming a Relationship Leader in your own life plus I train other relationship coaches in my Heart Coach program. I also host a 6-month mistress mind for extraordinary women who want to master their dance with Love & Money.

I own several companies with my husband and love of my life Eben Pagan. We teach together, grow together and parent our 12yr old daughter named “Love”.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

The skills that I deem most important for success in life are: Imagination, Persistence, Collaboration.

Imagination is how you access your creativity, and it’s highest purpose is to be used to create an empowered stance of yourself. In other words we must use our creativity to bootstrap a ladder out of hell -physical, emotional, intellectual hell. The art of being needs a creative engine to fund it’s becoming and that’s why we have imagination. You can cultivate your imagination by reading lots of wide-ranging fiction and allowing your curiosity to unfurl in any direction it wants.

Persistence is the skill of staying in the game. Being focussed, tenacious and insisting on making progress no matter what the setbacks. This is what will separate you from all others who give up and drop out of the race.

Few can keep coming back, iterating after each split test and committing to completion of goal. To cultivate this skill you must observe how your mind creates despair and interrupt this pattern in real time. Persistence requires us to learn how to manufacture faith and let our belief in an unprovable but desirable outcome fund our actions forward.

Collaboration is when you take two seemingly disparate perspectives, find the overlap between them and build a new emergent solution from the shared reality.

It takes a willingness to surrender your death grip on certainty and surrender to the wisdom that always comes from diversity. It is also the skill that underpins long-term true love. Conflict is collaboration trying to happen and collaboration is a conflict resolved.

When you expand these 3 skill sets you become a powerful, invincible human being that will not stop until they fulfill on their desire to create magic with others.

One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?

My husband & I started a sophisticated container for collaborative couples who are in love, working together on projects and committed to staying together for the rest of their lives.

We gather about 12 couples every 6 months and help them crowdsource their unique genius for the group.

It’s a highly-curated mastermind for extraordinary couples-in-love who have been exploring the complex terrain of romance. We know each ‘couple’ has a unique brand of intelligence, they’ve mapped pathways through the darkness that could be very useful to other couples.

We create a luxurious workshop custom-crafted for visionary dyads who’ve been together for more than 3 years and are committed to staying in love for the rest of their lives. We then excavate the genius of each relationship so their hard-won lessons can be shared with the rest of the group. Each attendee can learn the secrets other power couples use to support their romance in flourishing long term. This is not a seminar but a group of leaders trading tools as peers.

Designed for devoted lovers who welcome the developmental challenge of cultivating “Us-hood” through darkness and light, our mastermind is a study of what it takes to build an empowered romance that lasts a lifetime.

This is a passion project my husband & I have built to help shape human culture that is led by collaborative couple sin love. Our next event is November 12-18 in Austin. We’re looking for rockstar power-couples who want to upgrade their relationship game and learn from the very best.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.annielalla.com
• Instagram: @lallabird
• Facebook: Annie Lalla Coaching
• Linkedin: Annie Lalla
• Youtube: Annie Lalla channel
• Other: www.heartcoach.com
  https://www.heartcoach.com/inlove