We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Apex Laurent a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Apex, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
As an adult I would describe how I learned confidence as – Taming my ego & turning it into a super power to push through imposter syndrome
But in reality since I was a child I think another way to describe it is, I let my curiosity drive me more than my fear of failure.
I am the youngest of my siblings with a 6 year age gap being the closest sibling. Most other youngest know that gives you a lot of data to draw from in terms of discovering yourself and the world around you. Since I was a child I loved putting myself in positions that asked the question “What happens if I get good at ___?” Or “Can I become as good as ___?”
This led me to take risks and allowed me to be ok with failure for the sake of experimentation & growth towards my goal. As I got older that mentality changed to “How good can life get if I do the things I know I NEED to to be who I WANT to?”
And from there, confidence and self esteem becomes a daily battle of making sure you show up for yourself. When you show up for yourself, who other than yourself can tell you who you are? People will tell you what you show them. Show up for you and you’ll naturally show the world the best version of you
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
My name is Laurent, But I go by ‘Apex’. I am a travel live host for R&B ONLY and a public speaker/MC for hire for all types of live events and speaking engagements. Speaking and entertainment has always come natural to me as it’s been a passion of mine since I can remember.
I first started with talent shows, which later evolved into doing high school news reporting and hosting our school’s variety show. This later expanded as I went to Temple University to obtain my strategic communication degree. From talent shows to school reporting to college pep rallies, throwing my own events, and hosting homecomings, I kept finding unique ways to break doors down to use my talents. My one-sentence pitch early on looked a little like – “I’m not a DJ, I’m not a musical artist, and I’m not a promoter, but I promise, not only am I the life of the party, I can guarantee the audience will receive & internalize the intended message because I am a great host” And the rest is still being written
Currently you can find me on tour with R&BONLY as well as on my Youtube Channel @Apex Laurent where I share my story to help others tell their story so that we can all leave our mark in history. I share lessons I’ve learned and help encourage others to pursue their passions and purpose in life while also understanding the importance of accountability one must have when it comes to achieving their goals. Check it out, we love new subscribers, Newsletter coming soon!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1. Communication ( I know right, so generic and vague) But seriously, being able to fearlessly approach, connect, ask, or state what’s on your mind is almost like a superpower. It’s helped me in so many ways and a lack of communication has also been a core factor in many of my failures. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for people to strengthen their muscle for communication. Whether it’s uncomfortable conversations, learning to state what you want in a concise and succinct fashion, or just learning to ask for help. It will take you far when you learn to stop fearing how you may be received and focus on how you put yourself out to the world.
2. Observation. As a host, I have to read the rooms I enter in order to best serve the audience I am working with. In order to deliver the best value I have to understand the energy and what’s needed. This translates into small group work, team work, and interpersonal relationships as well. A lot of times, you can tell what someone truly means not only by what they say, but HOW they say it. Being able to observe your surroundings (as an unbiased observer I might add) will help you understand the role you can play in the situations you find yourself in. It can also help you learn and observation keeps you in an information collecting mindset. The more informed you can be, the more informed your decisions will be.
3. Identity. If you don’t know who you are, your environment will define what you become. I was blessed to have a father with a strong personality in my life and I can say I inherited much of my “HERE I AM” Personality from him. I would describe him as the most serious man I’ve ever met, but also the first person to hit the dance floor at any event we go to. I miss him everyday, but I’m thankful for the time we had. The dichotomy I witnessed within him taught me so much about what it means to “Be yourself” and still be able to gain respect, be intelligent and be respectful to people around you. The more time you take to find who you are, what you stand for and the principles you stand on, the easier life becomes for you to find a path YOU want to walk instead of letting life push you down a path your lack of self identity is forcing you to walk down.
My advice to all people in hopes of achieving their dreams is to get out of your own way. Self sabotage comes from imposter syndrome making one feel that they aren’t capable or worthy. This goes back to skill #2, unbiased observation. You must be able to observe yourself and make judgements to push you forward (almost like controlling a video game avatar) based on the principles and values you stand on that will push you towards your goal. It doesn’t matter if you “feel” unworthy, the situation is here – face it with the positive potential outcomes of your goal in mind. Not only considering the negative possibilities of your fears. Don’t let your lower thoughts stop your higher thoughts from prevailing. A firm understanding of self helps a lot with this.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
‘Ego Is The Enemy’ by Ryan Holiday. I read this book in 2023 for the first time and it has radically improved the relationship I have with myself. The book had opened my eyes to how much of my actions were focused on self serving my ego rather than my higher self. It taught me to focus on serving my higher purpose and most importantly the world around me. I’ve read many books over the years that helped with self improvement and mental mastery but not many provided a mirror the way ‘Ego is the enemy’ did. Call it great timing or just great writing, but I was able to unpack the sources of many of the emotions & intrusive thoughts I struggled with that created self sabotage or a negative attitude.
If I were to sum up the most impactful lesson I learned form the book, its to take accountability for how your actions impact the current life you are living as well as how you are perceived. From there, don’t move in life hoping your actions will make people view you differently, but move forward with the goal of your actions having a positive impact. Whether that impact comes with a bunch of congratulations and validations do not matter. The more you move with intention to serve higher than your ego, the more you will receive from life, even if what you receive doesn’t look exactly how you expected it to.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.apexlaurentmc.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/apexlaurent/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@apexlaurent
Image Credits
RNBONLY
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