We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Areiyami H. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Areiyami below.
Hi Areiyami , we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
For a long time, I thought confidence meant always being “on”— always producing, proving, or performing. But my confidence didn’t come from becoming louder or more polished. It came from becoming more honest with myself.
I’ve always known my worth intellectually, but I didn’t always trust myself enough to really stand in it. I was used to earning love, earning rest, earning validation. So even when I was doing well, there was still this quiet feeling that I had to prove something… cries in Capricorn.
As I’ve evolved into a version of myself that younger me can look up to, I’ve learned that developing my self-esteem looks less like doing more and more like unlearning. Giving myself permission to take up space without auditioning, to be soft without guilt, and to stop explaining myself before anyone asked. I started choosing accuracy over likability and peace over performance.
I also had to learn how to receive. Compliments. Wins. Stability. I used to minimize everything because I didn’t feel like I had done ‘enough’ yet. But my confidence started growing when I let things count—when I acknowledged that I was building a life, a body of work, and a sense of self while healing and evolving in real time, especially in a world that’s constantly changing.
One of the biggest shifts for me was realizing I don’t need chaos to feel deep or interesting. I’m most grounded and powerful when I’m calm, present, and regulated. My power is quiet. It lives in discernment, intention, and how I show up when no one is watching. My confidence comes from trusting how I show up, not how I’m perceived.
So my self-esteem wasn’t built overnight. It was built in the small moments where I stopped abandoning myself. Where I finally learned how to rest without feeling lazy or guilty. Where I stayed rooted in who I am instead of who I thought I needed to be. Confidence, for me, is ease. It’s self-respect. It’s self-trust. And that trust is the foundation of everything I build.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
At my core, I’m a storyteller with a curious mind and a tendency to overthink everything—feelings, patterns, people, and the meaning behind it all. Everything I do, from modeling to podcasting to content creation, is rooted in exploring what it really means to grow, unlearn, and evolve in real time.
Professionally, I’m a model, multimedia creator, and the host of Black Girl Overthinking—a podcast that started as honest conversations between friends and has grown into a space where we unpack self-awareness, relationships, and the quiet thoughts we usually keep to ourselves. It’s thoughtful, funny, sometimes a little unhinged, and always rooted in truth.
What excites me most about my work is that I don’t feel boxed in anymore. I get to be soft and ambitious. Introspective and playful. Luxury-minded but deeply human. I’m not interested in perfection or aesthetics without substance—I care about how things feel. I want my work to feel like a mirror, a deep exhale, or a late-night conversation that stays with you.
Modeling gives me a way to play with presence, embodiment, and visual storytelling—communicating emotion without words—while my podcasts and content let me go deeper, ask better questions, and tell the stories that don’t always make it into polished captions. That contrast is intentional. I like beauty with depth and depth that doesn’t take itself too seriously.
I’m currently preparing to launch Season 5 of Black Girl Overthinking this March, aligned with the Spring Equinox—very on brand for me. This season feels like renewal. Expansion. For the first time, I’ll be welcoming guest conversations into the space, bringing in new voices while keeping the intimacy, humor, and honesty listeners love. It feels like a fresh chapter, not just for the podcast, but for me.
Right now, I’m focused on expanding my creative work, collaborating with brands and platforms that actually align with my values, and building something sustainable, expressive, and true to who I am—not just who I’m expected to be.
If there’s one thing I want people to know, it’s that my brand is rooted in curiosity, self-trust, and evolution. I’m not here to be perfect or palatable. I’m here to be present, intentional, and real—and I think that’s where the magic is.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1. Self-awareness (aka learning how to sit with yourself without running away)
One of the most impactful things I’ve learned this year is self-awareness.. and not the cute, surface-level kind, but the kind that asks hard questions and waits for real answers. I had to get honest about my patterns, my triggers, and the ways I was showing up on autopilot. A lot of my growth came from realizing that sometimes I wasn’t “unlucky,” I was just unhealed… whew.
For anyone early in their journey, especially my beautiful, misunderstood Black girls, my advice is to spend time alone on purpose. Journal. Talk to yourself. Sit in silence. Romanticize your inner world the same way you romanticize everything else. Self-awareness isn’t about tearing yourself down—it’s about finally understanding yourself enough to move differently.
2. Discernment (because everything shiny is not for you, love)
Discernment changed my life. Learning when to say yes—and when to quietly back away without a dramatic exit—saved me so much energy. Not every opportunity is aligned, not every relationship is safe, and not every door needs to be forced open just because it’s cracked.
If you’re early on, trust what your body is telling you. If something feels heavy, confusing, or constantly draining, that’s information. You don’t need a traumatic ending to justify leaving. You’re allowed to choose peace, even when it disappoints people. Especially when it disappoints people.
3. Consistency over intensity (I’m still very Capricorn-coded, unfortunately)
I used to think growth had to be dramatic to be real. Big breakthroughs. Big sacrifices. Big emotional arcs. What actually built my confidence was showing up in small, unsexy ways—over and over again. Drinking the water. Making the content. Resting when I’m tired. Trying again tomorrow.
For anyone starting out, stop waiting to feel “ready.” Build a rhythm you can return to, even on your off days. Consistency isn’t about perfection—it’s about self-trust. And once you trust yourself, everything else starts to align.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
Hmm I think my number one challenge right now isn’t external, it’s more internal because It’s like this tightrope I’m walking between deep self exploration and craving external validation or attention. I’m a powerhouse of ambition, curiosity, and creativity, but at the same time I’m also carrying a lot of emotional weight, trauma, overthinking and past disappointments. It shows up in how I approach relationships, business, and even my own personal growth. it’s hard for me sometimes because I’ve been burned before
Right now I’ve just been pouring my energy into content creation, business ventures, and self-improvement, which is amazing yeah but sometimes it feels like a bandaid on deeper internal tension. And being very Black Girl Overthinking coded, I over analyze relationships and situations in real time, which is good for awareness but so fudging exhausting for my mind and spirit.
I catch myself trying to control outcomes in my relationships and creative ventures, because I’m just so used to carrying responsibility and watching for the “red flags”.
I try to balance it out with spiritual practices, detoxes and journaling because I know im doing a lot internally, it’s powerful yes, but sometimes isolating if I’m not careful. I’m still learning to give myself grace and lean into radical surrender in certain areas while also still reminding myself that, that doesn’t mean giving up—it means trusting my own rhythm, my intuition, and that not everything needs my control. Also that it’s ok for me to just let things unfold, especially in relationships and creative projects.
I’m channeling overthinking into structured reflection, not rumination. I prioritize energy alignment over output. I’m a busy body and I’m doing a lot, but not all of it is necessarily feeding my soul the way I want it too or building the version of the life I want. More times than not especially if I’m feeling lost I’ll ask myself: “Does this move me closer to my peace, power, or joy?” If not, I let it go. And just trust my instincts over my fears.
Im optimizing myself in every way—fitness, content and spirituality while also acknowledging that sometimes the real growth comes from embracing contradictions, imperfections, and messy feelings and moving through them instead sidestepping them. Basically, I’m caught between my mind running the show and my spirit needing freedom. I already have the tools, the discipline, and the self-awareness. Now it’s about releasing the constant pressure to do it all perfectly and living in my own energy, unapologetically.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/areiyami?igsh=NGkwN2tlOHFib201&utm_source=qr
- Twitter: https://x.com/areiyami?s=21
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@blackgirloverthinkingpodcast?si=LIMNNsJLb6e6Qs36
Image Credits
All the photos taken for my podcast are credited to my amazing videographer/photographer two3films
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
