Meet Ashleigh Antolini

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Ashleigh Antolini. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Ashleigh, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.

When I was a little girl, I was always drawn to singing and expressing myself in the form of writing. Before I could even remember, I was singing at family parties, writing poems and songs, and putting on shows, even though I was a very shy child. So I guess you could say I knew music was going to be apart of my life from an early age. As I got a little older I retreated to singing in private when I was home alone, mortified if anyone would hear me. I knew I wanted to pursue music in some way but couldn’t overcome the extreme fear of anyones judgement telling me that I wasn’t good enough. Years went on, and eventually I opened up about wanting to take singing lessons- guitar lessons followed soon after because I wanted to be able to write and play my own songs. I still didn’t tell a soul outside of family for the longest time that I wanted to pursue music, even though my life revolved around going to music classes every week and preparing for seasonal concerts.

After I graduated high school I was doing a lot of collaborating with producers, experimenting in different genres and getting involved in little pockets of South Florida music scene. Maybe playing live at showcases once a year. In a way, I felt like I wasn’t being my authentic self but I also didn’t know what my authentic self was. It took a long time for me to start to develop my sense of self, who I am as an artist, what I want to play, etc. Some days, I’m honestly still trying to figure it out.

In my late teens- early twenties, music was mostly a side hobby I did, posting occasional singing clips online not really progressing. Then the pressure (that I put on myself) started to set in and I knew I had a decision to make; did I want to continue down the path working at places that I wasn’t passionate about always sort of feeling incomplete, or try to step out of my comfort zone and do something I was terrified to do for the sake of following a dream.

At the time I new I wanted to start playing out full time. I won’t lie, If you have no experience playing out already it is very hard to get people to hire you. I do understand why, like any job they want someone who is experienced. Being a musician who only plays in your bedroom is very different than being one that plays in-front of a crowd of people. You really can’t develop experience and what to expect until you are in certain situations. Working through the stress of blunders, and technical issues under the pressure of starting on time will help mold you. So the jump from when I decided I wanted to be a full time musician to where I am now took nothing short of 7 or 8 years.

I started getting hired in a duo act, mostly playing with my partner Connor Sutton 1 or 2 times a month that I met through the music scene. (I will say, I owe a lot to him for helping me develop the skills and supporting me.)
A reoccurring feeling I often pushed away was, if I wanted to really do this I had to be able to play solo as well. It was something that terrified me, being the only spectacle for peoples eyes to fall upon. “If I made a mistake everyone will know” is a thought that often raced in my head. Looking back now, maybe it wasn’t that serious and I put way too much pressure on myself to be perfect. I was terrified, but I reached out to multiple people and places, but to be honest I really didn’t think I was going to get hired. I had virtually no experience playing solo and I didn’t believe that I was good enough to. But I still made an effort to post videos online, it was something that made me feel like I was putting myself out there.

Well it turns out that effort did eventually pay off, I was reached out to for a last minute fill in gig the day before. I don’t think they even knew I never played solo before but found me from my videos online. I was absolutely shocked that someone wanted to hire me. To be honest, I was truly debating on saying no because it was so last minute, but something inside of me knew I had to say yes. The nerves set in, and I practiced the night before getting familiar with how to set up the equiptment and played until my hands bled. The morning came, I packed my car and off I went. It was a four hour gig and I played every song I knew. Looking back, some parts were probably a little rough. I remember the drive home so vividly, feeling cathartic like I just took on Goliath and I was so proud of myself for going for it. I felt like I came out of that a different person and eventually it was sort of like a snow ball effect, a slow rolling snow ball. My opinion of myself changed into someone who could do this. I think your self concept plays a huge part into your success in life. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should other people? As the years went on, I got hired at more and more places until I was eventually able to fill up my schedule and do this full time.

I feel like there is more to discovering your purpose than it being just what you are passionate about. Music was always my passion so that was easy. The hard work for me was accepting where I was at, working on my skills and then finally taking the leap of faith.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I am a full time musician. I play all over South Florida from Miami to Fort Pierce. I play at hotels, restaurants, music venues, and do private events like showers and weddings! Right now I’m focused on continuing to build my business. I think it’s very cool being your own boss and getting to create your own schedule. Also meeting new people and coming across new opportunities. I truly feel there is no glass ceiling in this profession. You can be successful in so many ways now. I am also currently in the process of writing and recording for an upcoming album! To be announced!

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

One thing that truly helped me was getting technical about things. As artists we’re more right brained, so we have a bunch of thoughts and ideas swirling around our head. Being able to write down exactly what I wanted to achieve and then setting smaller goals in order to achieve it helped ground me. You have to take it one step at a time so things don’t overwhelm you.

Second thing that has helped me was to stop comparing yourself to others and where they are at on their journey. I know it’s a pretty obvious one but still in the age of social media you can see other peoples success on a highlight reel. What I remind myself is that other peoples life is going to look different than mine, we can’t all have the same blueprint. I know its inevitable to not be online in this day and age so if I see something that makes me feel bad about where I am at, I try to channel the feelings into a way that inspires me to better myself and turn it into something positive.

Third is patience, once you do all the work, honed your craft, reached out to multiple places odds are a lot of them won’t get back to you. It’s just the way it goes. Having patience and not giving up will be a huge part in if you are successful or not. It took years for someone to take a chance on me and hire me for the first time.

What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?

My biggest area of growth has come from not getting too comfortable.

As much as I LOVE my comfort zone, I try to continue to accept new challenges in my life each year. Constantly working on myself and getting out of my comfort zone will help me grow into the artist and person that I am meant to be.

Also, accepting that I’ll never be perfect has been a big one for me. It’s good to be prepared and ready but at some point you have to jump in. You’ll never be 100% prepared for any and every situation and have to accept that you don’t always have control.

I was not 10000% ready when I started, but if I never took that leap of courage and faith I wouldn’t be here today doing what I love.

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Image Credits

soleil.olaye
Alexmediaproductions

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