Meet Ashleigh Olguin

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Ashleigh Olguin. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Ashleigh below.

Hi Ashleigh, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?

Self-esteem and self-worth is truly an inside job and that’s the saying isn’t it? But when we’re young, we absorb those ideas about ourselves from external sources. Our parents, siblings, friends, teachers, extended family, etc. It’s a whole pie with different slices as our sources of value.

I remember feeling very shy as an elementary school child. I have loving parents and my mom was a teacher but I remember feeling paralyzed with fear if called on in class. When reading aloud, I counted the number of people and their sections to make sure I could practice in my head for my part. That’s where my anxiety began! This relates to finding worth from what others thought of me and gauging my success on checking a box. That feeling followed me throughout my schooling years. I associated self esteem with others’ approval of me in every aspect.

In middle school, a teacher created a core memory in the worst way when she told me I would likely never get into college. As I grew older, imposter syndrome crept into my mind. I pretended to be things that checked the box of “success” even though it felt inauthentic. I had the comments made by others running through my head that I would not be successful no matter what. I didn’t have “it” whatever “it” was.

When I joined theatre in high school, I found my voice and place in the world. The art and community of theatre people encouraged me to be my true self and welcomed every part of my personality. It provided a safe space to develop my self esteem and voice and realize — even if what I offered to the world didn’t check a box — it was still purposeful.

After high school, I continued to grow in the belief of myself. Even when others treated me like I was disposable, my mantra became “their loss, my gain.” I just had this electric feeling that I KNEW I was magic and was fine with those who walked away because I would continue to be a good person who helped others.
When I started performing weddings for friends here and there, it ignited a passion. I was able to combine my love of being part of peoples’ lives and performing an honorable act. I began to get referrals for others and over the past 10 years have grown a beautiful passion project. I am fueled by connection with my couples and their loved ones. I get to meet the coolest people, make the most important day of their lives perfect, and grow in confidence of my impact on the world. I strive to create personal ceremonies that make people cry and laugh and aim to be an officiant that could be deemed as a close friend. When first starting my business, my imposter syndrome was raging and there was a veteran stellar officiant, Paul Martinez, who saw me and encouraged me. He won awards and was highly sought after because of his genuine love of people. I was in awe and thankful he encouraged me and began referring couples to me. From him, I learned the importance of lifting others — especially those in your field — because adding light to the world brings more joy. As I’ve grown in my profession, I believe in supporting other professional wedding vendors — especially officiants — to hopefully provide the encouragement that was offered to me.

I, of course, still struggle at times with my confidence but I have made leaps and bounds from that 2nd grade version of me, terrified to breathe in school. Identifying my own value, finding my people, and creating mantras helped me develop my confidence.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I have been marrying people for 10 YEARS! I am a wedding and elopement officiant. I’m not a minister of any sort. I focus on their story, what makes them tick as a couple. I foster a level of friendship and understanding so by the time I’m standing up at their wedding, their guests think I’m a friend of the couple with how personal their ceremony is. I guide couples through the process of writing or choosing template vows. Vows are such a vital part of the ceremony as they represent the outward symbol of their commitment. I love crafting unity ceremonies that are specialized for the couple to add that spark of personality. I typically tear up when I see the couple lock eyes down the aisle but then pull it together to execute a professional ceremony. Weddings are my passion project that bring color in my universe.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Storytelling, authentic connection, empathy. Being able to weave a couple’s story along with the structure of a wedding is key. Connection is desired by all of humanity but sometimes that connection falters and that is ok. You are not meant for everyone and everyone is not meant for you. My empathy for others is my greatest superpower and sometimes a flaw depending on the situation. My autopilot is to understand and work hard to make sure I perform my best work by honoring their love. My advice to others is to find the people who you admire AND encourage you in your growth. Find the people who will speak your name in rooms you’re not in.

What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?

I have always been a people pleaser to my core. Thanks to years of therapy, I’ve chipped away at the why behind this personality trait. For many people like me, it can be a trauma response to secure your place of importance in someone’s life. If I made myself invaluable by going above and beyond then I am sure to create a meaningful connection. The other part of me just finds absolute joy (like feeling sunshine in my bones kind of joy) helping others and improving their lives. When you mix these traits with trying to build a business that basically sells myself as an officiant, it led me down a path of giving more than I needed to. In my early years I was trying to make vendor connections as a means of a referral system and agreeing to do a lot for couples (like coordination, timeline construction, travel, unity ceremonies, ect.) for no extra cost. It is vital to build your reputation and it takes years in my opinion because it comes from consistent practice and reviews. This practice led to a pretty quick burnout. The old me would just push on but after a gentle talk with my husband he once again reminded me of my value and I did not need to keep throwing in things to get couples to book. My testimonials began to speak for themselves, from vendors like planners, photographers, DJ’s and my couples which led to tons of business. I finally broke through and was booking up quickly and thus stretching myself thin. I had less time with my two sons, husband, family and friends and my boys called me out. Once again, the small people pleaser voice popped up saying to keep saying yes to everyone. However, in December of 2023, I sat down and talked it through with my husband and as he was finishing his PhD (SHOUTOUT to Dr. Florencio Olguin) we decided the 2024 season would be a bit calmer. I was finally at a place where I got to control my business load without fear of losing couples. I took the summer off and let me tell you….it was AMAZING! I had room to just exist and breathe and also protect my peace which makes me a better officiant. I am very proud of this growth and will continue to guard my time and energy.

Contact Info:

• Website: [email protected]
• Instagram: @ashleigholguinceremonies

Image Credits

Kevin Guevara Photo + Film
Grant Developed
Coryn Kiefer Photography
Alicia Lucia Photos