We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Ashley Cooper. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Ashley below.
Hi Ashley, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
One tragic night, I received a chilling phone call from my cousin’s sister. Her voice was frantic and breaking as she asked me to try reaching her brother, hoping he would answer my call. Moments later, I learned that my cousin, La’Quan Howard, the handsome, athletic, creative, and intelligent soul I knew, had died by suicide.
Even as I write this, the weight of that loss still brings tears to my eyes. That night, I drove to my grandmother’s house to be with our family, and I will never forget how my tears flowed like a river the entire way. I still thank God for keeping me through that drive, it was the longest and hardest of my life.
In the days that followed, I couldn’t stop asking, What was he going through that made him feel like he had no one to lean on? I questioned God: If You placed me on this path to help others, why wasn’t I able to intervene? The most heartbreaking part was that no one in my family could even say the words out loud, he died by suicide.
In 2020, I gave birth to my mission: Killing the Silence in the Black Community. I made a promise to myself that I would do everything I could to prevent another family from going through what mine did, left in pain, without the language to express it. I wanted to sound the alarm in our community, one deeply rooted in faith, that God does not call us to suffer in silence.
Suppressing our emotions is not strength, processing them is. Emotions are not sinful. Therapy is not just for the “ill”, it is for the human. For all of us.
I began by sharing my message through YouTube videos, community events, and speaking engagements. But this was only the beginning of what I knew would become a mighty movement.
Later, while working at the Department of Social Services (DSS), that conviction deepened. Sitting across from countless individuals, I realized just how many were silently battling internal storms, longing not for solutions, but for someone who would just listen.
So many were functioning in dysfunction, hiding behind smiles, because they had been taught that vulnerability was weakness, and that emotions were something to be swallowed, not spoken. They had learned to survive, but not to heal.
These encounters affirmed my calling: to create spaces where stories can be heard, feelings can be named, and silence can be broken, because healing starts when we are no longer afraid to feel.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
With complete honesty, I’m currently in a season of leaning deeply into my faith. I’ve been intentional about turning inward becoming more in tune with myself emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I feel that God is pausing me right now, not to punish, but to pour more into me. He’s preparing me for a greater level, and when I do rebrand, I know I won’t have the space or the grace to be running on empty.
This season is not just about me, it’s also about my household. God is calling me to get my house in order. I don’t know who may be reading this, but if you’re a visionary like me, you may understand what it feels like to pour and pour until your cup is completely dry. But God made it clear to me: He no longer wants me to function that way. After realizing it wasn’t fair to be exalted publicly while my home life was suffering, I made a major shift. I accepted a position as a school-based therapist so I could align my schedule with my children’s and be more present in their lives. But it’s more than just convenience, it’s a calling.
I wanted to understand children better because I recognize that trauma is complex. And no matter when it enters our lives, society has often taught us to silence our pain. That silence becomes generational. But if I can impact children now—if I can teach them that their feelings are real, valid, and worthy of being acknowledged—then they have the power to change the trajectory of the next generation.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
1. Emotional Resilience and Self-Awareness
My ability to sit with uncomfortable emotions, whether mine or others’, has been transformative. But that didn’t come overnight. It came through tragedy, therapy, prayer, and a lot of internal work. I had to learn how to feel instead of just function. That awareness now allows me to hold space for others in a deeper, more meaningful way.
Advice: Start with yourself. Don’t be afraid to confront your own feelings and patterns. Journal. Pray. Get support. You can’t hold space for others if you’re constantly abandoning your own emotional needs.
2. Deep Faith and Discernment
My relationship with God has anchored me through every season, especially the hardest ones. Discernment helped me know when to move, when to pause, and when to pivot. I’ve learned that obedience sometimes looks like slowing down to be poured into before pouring out.
Advice: Stay rooted in your faith and let God lead you, even when the vision seems unclear. Spend time in stillness, listen for direction, and trust that every detour has purpose.
3. Intentional Communication and Connection
Whether I’m speaking at an event, sitting with a family in crisis, or talking to a child in my therapy room, I’ve learned the power of being present. Listening with intention, using language that validates, and being open about my own story have helped me build trust and create impact.
Advice: Practice listening more than you speak. Learn how to connect with people where they are, not where you want them to be. And don’t be afraid to share your story, it’s part of your power.
To close, maybe we can chat about your parents and what they did that was particularly impactful for you?
Growing up in a single-parent household, the most impactful thing my mother did for me was simply showing up. Her consistent presence, the faith foundation she built in our home, and the space she created for open, non-judgmental conversations made all the difference. She allowed me to be curious within healthy boundaries and never made me feel ashamed for asking questions or expressing how I felt. That emotional safety and spiritual grounding gave me the freedom to explore, reflect, and grow into the woman I am today.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/killing_thesilence
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@AshleyCooper-vb4le
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