We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Ashley Evans a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Ashley, so excited to talk about all sorts of important topics with you today. The first one we want to jump into is about being the only one in the room – for some that’s being the only person of color or the only non-native English speaker or the only non-MBA, etc Can you talk to us about how you have managed to be successful even when you were the only one in the room that looked like you?
Being a female leader in the restaurant industry has been quite the challenge over the past 20 years. For many years, especially in my beginning stages of hospitality management, it was uncommon to see a female in the position of restaurant manager. I found myself in meetings where I was the only female manager, for many years. As I grew and was able to influence the decision making process by providing a different perspective, the ratio started to shift. This was not an easy process but was progress. The company I worked for at the time did present females with leadership opportunities to cross-train into and I saw many reject the opportunity. This role is not for the faint of heart, and probably why I found myself as the only woman in a room full of men when I first got into restaurant management. I like to think that the shift in male to female ratio had something to do with me, jumping in and showing them that WE CAN DO IT!
There is a different kind of energy when in a room full of all men. The way meetings are conducted and general communication were different when working with an all male leadership team. Prior to becoming a restaurant manager, I had a leadership background with school and my sorority. The world of business was new to me and the way meetings were conducted were also different. I observed the reactions when I spoke and when others spoke, what information was brought to the table and weather or not their was a plan of action in place. When I brought ideas to the table because I “felt like it was a good idea.” they were often shut down immediately. I quickly learned that if I wanted to be taken seriously and if I wanted my ideas to come alive, I needed to bring facts and a plan of action to the table. I learned the importance of time and place and how they were key factors when wanting to present an idea. I also learned who to go to for what, meaning, not wasting someone’s time if they weren’t involved in making decisions for that department. I learned that blindsiding the team was never a good thing. Having at least one person in the know on what you were going to say and do and having their blessing before presenting it proved to have more positive outcomes than negative.
This group of men who I worked with for 18 years directly and indirectly taught me how to communicate in the business world. They were open and honest when it came to decision making and doing the right thing. But, the female perspective was new to the room and new to the hourly employees. It would turn heads in meetings, perk up ears and often created a silence so quite you could hear a needle hitting the ground… thus causing pure panic in my head and a nervousness like I had never experienced before. Think about it, ten or so men, all silent, staring at you, waiting to see what you have to say and then judge it openly. Staying calm and sticking to the script, I would present my well thought out information to the group. I believe this was sometimes annoying yet mostly intriguing to the male leadership team. It gave me a leg up when it came to staff relations, especially with the females. There was a larger comfort level from the hourly team, knowing they had a female to go to if they were experiencing female related issues and knowing that for disciplinary action, there would be a male and female present. I was fair and consistent with actions that needed to take place. This was taught to me by one of my mentors, which helped me maintain a level playing field with the male leadership team.
On top of communicating effectively, I also learned that the more projects I took on (in or outside of my scope of work), the more respect and more opportunities I was given. I truly did focus on being the hardest worker in the building and always tried to have the best interest of the business first. I pride myself on knowing the leaders and staff alike can ask me for something and I will find a way to make it happen, The word no was removed from my vocabulary when I became a leader in the hospitality industry. Hospitality is how you make people feel and I wanted to provide the same hospitality to our leadership team and staff that I would provide to guests, all while maintaining business and service standards. I do my homework when it comes to presenting ideas. “This idea would be great for the business because…” and then back it up with factual information stating “it would decrease turnover, increase sales, increase guest satisfaction, and so on.” I am often one of the first in and one of the last out. Ensuring I communicate everything that I was working on that day. If the money is off at the end of the night, I stay and go through each cash out to ensure I find the issue before the start of the next day. More than a handful of times I have found myself leaving as the morning managers were coming into work, this only made me beam with more pride as others would leave notes for the opening manager to go through the paperwork and fix it for them. Once I climbed the ladder and worked myself into higher leadership roles, I learned to delegate properly using clear communication, written recaps, deadlines, and relentlessness when it came to ensuring tasks were completed in the proper timeframe. Even projects I didn’t believe in that were asked of me, I gave them my all! Sometimes there were great outcomes, others not so much. But being humble in success and not bitter in defeat helped to keep me grounded and open minded. This did not come without practice and reflecting on prior situations. In order to rise above, one must fall and learn how to get back up.
With this type of leadership style, I was able to progress from Assistant Manager to Training Manager, Director of Training, Assistant General Manager and General Manager. I learned to love the communication style of upfront, honest, to the point and factual. These are qualities that I take with me to this day as a female business owner. Removing feelings from situations where business decisions need to be made, making my motto “Facts not Feelings.” I will say this is the number one reason I have been able to continue to grow and develop in this trade. It’s easy to get into decision making based on feelings but that is when your team will start to doubt your reasons and decision making.
After 18 years of career loyalty, the group of men I had worked with for almost two decades not only provided positive feedback on my desires to start a new venture, but continued to help ensure I set my business up for success. If it weren’t for the the communication I learned and the effort I put into their business, I’m not sure the outcome would have been the same. Almost two years in as a business owner and they still reach out to me and I still keep up with them. There are now a dozen or more female leaders in the company across the US. If I have been successful at anything this far, I hope it is from my courage to jump into a male dominated industry and create a path for the up and coming female leaders. My success story continues as I never burn bridges, I focus on communicating clearly and effectively, I try to be the hardest working person in the room, always show respect to everyone, provide hospitality and make the best possible decisions for the staff/business/guest and base those decisions on facts not feelings.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I have been in the hospitality industry for two decades. I have always had a love for teaching and coaching with a background in coaching pop warner cheerleading for 5 years and always taking on a leadership role in each organization I would join. I especially enjoy teaching and coaching those who are working in the hospitality industry. The most rewarding part of what I do is witnessing the growth and development of leaders and hourly staff. To know that what I teach them can make a difference in their livelihood is truly the bread and butter of why I do what I do today.
I have always had a passion for new restaurant openings and mass staff training. My former company did not have a full time position for me to conduct this type of coaching and leadership development. Coaching has always been a true joy to me but they were my family and the thought of leaving the company was worse than the thought of not doing something I was passionate about. When I was told that I had melanoma skin cancer, it was an eye opening experience. I completely changed my perspective on life, what was truly scary and what kind of legacy I wanted to leave behind one day. When surgery was complete and I was informed that they were able to get clear margins, I told myself I want to do and be more in this lifetime. I wanted and still want this today for myself but also for others in the industry. I wasn’t quite sure how that was going to happen but made that my focus as I took each day moving forward. The company I worked for supported my decision to go off on my own and I haven’t looked back since that day. I gave a 90 day notice and started to build my brand. Hospitality forward, coaching, teaching and providing resources to those in the hospitality community.
Since then, I have traveled across the US, coaching and teaching the ins and outs of the hospitality industry. I have expanded my team and work to coach and teach them as well. I was always told that you put one hand up for someone to pull you up, and leave another hand down to pull someone else up. Lunch and Dinner Consulting, LLC focuses on new restaurant openings and providing the full training for them. We also conduct restaurant audits, similar to a secret shopper, have launched a restaurant manager planner (in English and Spanish) and launched a goal setting book available on Amazon. We created an app called LANDD, which stands for Lunch AND Dinner which houses the custom training programs, has an extensive free alcohol index and provides other services.
This year we have added social media management and content creation for restaurants to our list of services. Lunch and Dinner’s goal is to help restaurants and employees in the hospitality industry show up as their best selves in every aspect of the business. Lunch and Dinner provides knowledge, coaching, insight and tools for anyone in the restaurant industry. Universal restaurant training programs will be launched later this year for FOH, BOH and managers, working to create a ONE HOUSE!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Qualities and skills that have been most impactful in my journey have included forward thinking, reflection, resilience and relentlessness. Forward thinking is important for all leaders to keep ideas fresh and to provide a different perspective. Many times I have found myself not speaking up with my ideas due to worrying about what others would think and say. I slowly started to gain confidence and that is when I started to grow into my leadership role. Not every idea was a homerun but I was praised for bringing ideas, with facts to back them up, to the table. Reflection is important as a leader to see how different situations played out and what you would change if you could go back in time. Similar situations will continue to happen so ensuring you are ready for the next one and making the best move possible is huge in growing as a leader. Resilience is probably the toughest one of them all. Being able to pick yourself back up and try again, not letting anything keep you down. You have to tell yourself, you only fail if you quit. Although it is one of the toughest things to do as a leader, it is doing it that makes you stronger. Relentlessness for situations, ideas and people alike is what helps leaders accomplish the unthinkable. Not giving up on your top priorities and continuing to search for new ways, new data, new routes is what will help get leaders to where they want to go. And lastly, every experience is a positive experience. Even if negative in the moment, each experience is something that we learn from and helps shape us for our future. Not cutting out experiences to get somewhere faster, focusing on the now, learning as much as you can each day and making connections of a lifetime. People are the most important part of any business. Communicating with those in and out of leadership roles and never burning a bridge.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
When I am feeling overwhelmed, it is often because I have put too much on my plate. I have too many projects or ideas I am working on as a business owner. I have learned to recognize this and work through it by creating a personal goal and professional goal then breaking both of those down into smaller goals and then breaking those smaller goals down into daily tasks, essentially creating a roadmap of where I want to go and providing a realistic timeline. This is how the Big Ass Goal Book for Professionals was created. I wanted a notebook that was more than just a planner, that focused on ALL of the things I have to focus on in a single day. Breathing helps, planning helps, having manageable target goals helps. Check out The Big Ass Goal Book for Professionals on Amazon!
My advice to others would be to make a plan and work your plan. The plan can change but you have to have a plan to start and always remember, “It’s not life or death, it’s Lunch & Dinner!”.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.lunchanddinner.com
- Instagram: @ashleylandd @lunchanddinner_com
Image Credits
Emily Harvey
