We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Ashley Farr. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Ashley below.
Ashley, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
My life seems to have been riddled with trauma. I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to pick myself back up after getting knocked down over and over again.
We didn’t have a lot of money growing up and I was bullied at school. I remember seeing kids who had more than me and wanting that. I wanted more and with each setback, I’ve kept myself on track, always remembering my childhood dream of having a family, a house, the American dream.
In my 20s I battled alcoholism. I decided to get sober when I was 27. I had to face my demons but in turn, I got back on my path toward my dream of becoming a professional photographer.
When I was 29, in the beginnings of my career, I was raped and violently attacked my a stranger who entered through my window at night. It took everything in me to recover from that. Therapy, support from loved ones, time to heal. I was one of the lucky ones – my perpetrator was found and sent to jail after a difficult trial. Amidst all of this, I still fought to maintain my sobriety and follow my dreams. I never took a drink and somehow I managed to keep pushing my business. I was married when I turned 33, had a thriving business, had a child a year later, and we bought our first house.
Last year, I was pregnant with our second, a baby boy. At 24 weeks he was diagnosed with hydrops fetalis, a fatal condition that most babies don’t survive. We were devastated. The baby underwent surgery, in utero, and held on until week 29 when he decided it was time to come out. Miraculously, he barely survived his first night of life in the NICU. He stayed there for 4 months. He had many tubes, needles, lines, oxygen, surgeries, etc. He fought for his life. He came home on oxygen and feeds through a gtube but he made it and we couldn’t feel more blessed.
I’ve felt like god has set me up with each of these traumas so I could handle the next. I’ve felt His presence with me in all of my traumatic moments, showing me I can get through anything. If I can place purposes with each event, that helps me conquer the next one. I know life isn’t fair, we aren’t guaranteed anything, but we can choose to be grateful and push on. I will always choose light over darkness.
Today I am still married to my wonderful husband, have two amazing boys, we live in our dream home, and my business couldn’t be better. My life is a miracle. My resilience comes from my empathy and experiences, knowing that things could be worse and sitting in my trauma will only keep me there. I allow my grief to take place and then push against what is trying to hold me back. Im so thankful for this life and the moments I’ve been able to experience.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My name is Ashley Farr. I own my business Ashley Rhian Photogeaphy. I’ve been a photographer for 24 years, setting in high school as the yearbook and newspaper photo editor. I continues on through college and graduated with an BFA in photojournalism. I’ve ran my business for about 8-9 years.
I specialize in lifestyle photography. I aim to shoot as candid and real and raw as possible. I don’t like anything too staged. I love what I do because people can have these memories for a lifetime – photographs are all we have after years fade our memories away. I’m glad I can give that to people.
I recently moved from my home state of montana to southeast Idaho to be closer to my husband’s family and get better medical care for our younger boy.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Humbleness, sacrifice, hard work.
In order to learn you need to be humble. The most talented are the most humble, we always have room to keep learning our craft.
To be the best, you need to be willing to sacrifice other aspects of your life. At some point you have to go all in, and that might mean less time with friends or having fun. It’s worth it to create something of your own.
And lastly, hard work is so important. Nothing just comes to you. Put in the hours and gain the experience to become the best.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
My number one obstacle is being a mom and owning a business. I don’t have time for myself very often. Luckily, I love what I do, so when I’m not being a mom, I’m editing or photographing. I’ve made my talent and hobby, my job. As a wedding photographer, my weekends do get taken and that takes me away from my family more than I’d like sometimes. To overcome this challenge I’ve taken less weddings, tried to do more portrait and family shoots, and balance my time better.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.ashleyrhianphotography.com
- Instagram: @ashleyrhianphotography
Image Credits
Ashley Rhian Photography Michaela Andrus Photo and Film
