Meet Avery Hatfield-bender

We were lucky to catch up with Avery Hatfield-bender recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Avery , appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?

Growing up, resilience was modeled to me by my family. I come from generations of determined, creative and fierce lovers of people. My great-grandparents (Louise and JC) grew up during the Great Depression. So to say the lease, they knew how to save and be scrappy. When they were raising a young family, they started a family owned and operated company in Louisville called Atlas Metal Products. This company is still thriving to this day. My grand-parents were married 68 years and lived in the same house they raised their kids in until they passed. They were generous with their time and constantly invited people into the Keith family as if they were our own.

My dad grew up in a home full of generational trauma. He was the first to graduate college and become financially stable in his family. Since I was little, I always knew that my dad was doing internal work to create a safe, loving and supportive space that my sisters and I could fall back on. Because of my parents dedication, we grew up in a home full of security, love and consistency.

My mom was diagnosed with cancer at the young age of 32. I was only 2 when she went through the thick of treatment and the slew of doctors that cancer calls in. In my formative years and to this very day, I have witnessed my mom fight for her health, her joy and what she holds dear.

But if you were to ask for a simple answer, the women in my life are what spur my resilience. I come from a long line of strong women. Women who were the cool shade so others could heal, the umbrella when the world was coming down, the straight and narrow when we got lost, the wisdom when the answer felt fuzzy and the strong hand when we needed a push to overcome.

When I am in a period of uncomfort, I channel them. I see them each around me and their history of strength.

Nanny (Louise), Nanny Russ (Anna Ruth), Aunt Patsy. (My great aunt), Gaga (Doris, my grandmother), Grandma (Kathy, my grandmother), Mom (Sarah), Erin A, Erin Laura, Melanie (my cousins), Everleigh and Emelia (my sisters). They are my cloud of witnesses and North Star.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I have worked in and out of the wedding industry for multiple years. I was surrounded by friends who were in the field and casually took jobs helping them in my free time. I assisted with hair, makeup, photographer, coordination, etc. I saw every angle of the wedding world and loved it. I was drawn in by the people-orientedness of it all. I have always been a relationship person, so I soaked up learning how the couple met, how the mother of the groom felt on this momentous day and why the bride chose blue as her main color. I was there for it all and wanted more.

Then I got married and experienced what it means to be a bride. It felt odd to me that my partner and I were supposed to plan the event, host it, be the guest of honor, be the wealth of knowledge for my vendors and not to mention get married that day. It was way too many roles for someone to hold. I hired a day of coordinator but had a poor experience and ended up taking on more than I would have liked. I met with them once before the wedding, it felt impersonal and they struggled to actually run the day like I had envisioned.

I had assisted with a company in Louisville for a few months as a day of coordinator prior to my wedding. I was always the person to throw the themed parties, I had worked in many leadership roles at previous jobs (admin, care teams, event leads, outreach coordinator, therapist, etc), I love people and enjoy learning new things. Why couldn’t I do it? So on the flight to our honeymoon, I bounced the idea of starting a business by husband of five minutes. Drew has always been someone to encourage my every move. In Mexico, I wrote my business plan and we launched the week after.

ABC Weddings & Events is rooted in relationships. I desire to start off with clients that are strangers and end as friends. I want us to know one another and trust in each other. Because why would you put such a special day in the hands of someone who you don’t know? My hope is to provide unbiased support, structure and encouragement to your wedding planning process. ABC’s values are compassion, authenticity and honesty. I always want to be compassionate to the fact that everyone’s engagement season, vision, support level, family/friend dynamics and emotions are different. I will always bring my all and my full self to the client and ask that they do the same. And I always want to be honest with you about what I can and cannot do for you. If there is something I cannot service on your day, we will find someone to do it.

Hiring a wedding/event planner and coordinator is an investment in protecting your peace. For weddings specifically, my hope is to allow the couple to remain present and have one job: get married & enjoy it. Weddings have grown into a huge marketplace in the last decade. This provides people with a ton of options and vendors to fit them, but it always leaves a lot of room for a couples priorities and purpose for the event to get lost. As a couples planners and coordinator, we establish those priorities and purposes for the day and focus all our work around it.

I am passionate and thankful to be in this field. I am grateful that I am able to be any advocate and a beacon of peace in a sometimes overwhelming season.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

I feel like the three qualities that allowed me to be where I am today are: resourcefulness, determination and connection.

To create your own way in the world you must be resourceful with what you have. To form your own business you are being tasked to design out of nothing. You will need you brain and your heart. You will need your people and network a group of supporters. You will need to be adaptable and use what’s around you. Creating a business feels like building the plane while it’s flying.

Determination is key. When you’re an entrepreneur, you are your own boss. You need to find motivation within yourself, drive to continue on and patience with yourself when it all feels like it must.

Connecting to yourself and others is essential. Get out there and meet people! And if you don’t find a group you want to be apart of, create it. Early in my business, I felt like there wasn’t a space for women leaders to come together and create positive friendships. So I created a networking group called gals.lou (instagram: gals.lou)! This group meets once a month to create an opportunity to debunk the idea that women need to be in competition in order to thrive. At gals.lou, we live by the idea that we need each other to thrive.

You also need to remain connected to yourself. The business world will eat you up if you do not take time to rest, create boundaries or have time off. Being your own boss, it is easy to work without thinking about rest. But blocking off time to connect with yourself will allow you to thrive in the other areas of your life.

Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?

I am looking to collaborate with people people. Creatives who love people and want to care for them well! I am someone who loves to connect with other businesses and point my clients to them. If you are someone who wants to do a create shoot, partner together for an event, or just simply grab coffee you are welcome to reach out to me via email at [email protected]

I am also looking for interns each semester! I have two intern roles available for summer and fall of 2025. I have a branding and marketing intern that is suited for someone with a photography and/or communications background. This intern would be over refining my social media, marketing to local businesses and helping sustain the ABC brand. The second intern is my events and marketing intern. This intern focuses on the event portion of ABC. They are expected to work wedding weekends with me and help plan events through ABC. They also do a fair amount of marketing and handle the gals.lou instagram. Both interns gain experience in small business creation, sustainability and longevity. They both are expected to plan content days, networking events and assist weddings on weekends. The job is hands on and tailored to the interns gifts and ability. I care way more about who the person is who is applying than what experience they have. If you or someone you know is interested, email me your resume at [email protected]

Contact Info:

• Website: https://ABC-weddings.com
• Instagram: @ahbenderweddings

Image Credits

Savannah Hope Photography
Winn’s Lens
Kendra Farris Photography
Catherine C Photography
Erin Drysdale Photography