Meet Ben Hawes

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Ben Hawes. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Ben below.

Ben, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.

I love this question because, to be honest, on the surface, it might seem like I’ve always been naturally confident—but that’s not the full story. There are a few sources of my confidence, and truthfully, I’m not always confident in every area of life. However, people do tend to know me as a confident, outgoing person and there are specific things that have helped me get to where I am today in terms of confidence.

When I was in middle school in Northern California, I had a friend who, for whatever reason, thought it was funny to be “conceited.” There was something irreverent about the way she embraced her own confidence, completely ignoring the typical ideas of “modesty.” At that time, I was insecure, but I kind of latched onto her energy, adopting some of her silliness and self-assurance. This was around 7th grade, and when I started acting more confident and even a bit conceited, I noticed people began treating me like I was truly confident. I was familiar with the phrase “fake it until you make it,” and that’s essentially what I did.

I also learned that, when it comes to bullying, the worst thing you can do is let someone know they’re getting to you. Similarly, with confidence, if you walk into a room acting confident, people will believe that you are. I truly believe that you can fake confidence, and in doing so, you become confident.

But that’s not the whole picture. I find that I feel most confident when I actually have something to feel confident about—whether that’s pride in my work, my finances, my health, or my comedy performances. I recently saw a TikTok that said, “If you want to boost your self-esteem, just do something that makes you feel better about yourself.” While that might sound oversimplified, it resonates with me. When I’m feeling low or insecure, doing something like working out, finishing a project, cleaning my apartment, or eating something healthy almost always makes me feel better.

Finally, surrounding myself with uplifting people—rather than those who bring me down—has made a huge difference. I’m someone who is very affected by what people say to or about me, so I need to be around those who care about me and want to see me succeed. There’s a saying that you are the average of the five people closest to you, and I really believe in that!

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I’ve always been a performer, a creative—but when I hit 30, I told myself, it’s time. I had been doing the podcast thing, making content for Instagram and TikTok, always juggling different projects—writing funny songs, too. But there I was, in New York City, not performing. Which, fun fact, was literally why I moved here.

Fast forward: now I’m a musical comedian with shows at spots like The Stand, Broadway Comedy Club, and my all-time favorite, the historic Stonewall Inn. I write and perform funny songs all around NYC (and beyond!), and I’m honestly obsessed with it.

Along the way, I’ve met incredible people—like fellow musical comedian Seann Cantatore and a local entrepreneur, Denise Klerx, who’s become my producing partner for all things live shows and projects. Through comedy, I’ve found a true sense of community and a growing circle of friends who get the hustle and the fun in what we do.

The highlight? I’m headlining my first-ever Halloween show on Oct 22, A Spooky Evening with Ben Hawes, at Stonewall Inn—a place where history was made back in 1969 when queer people fought back, sparking the Pride movement. Getting to perform there feels like a full-circle moment. It’s iconic, and I feel so lucky they host people like me.

Oh, and there’s more! I also host a podcast called Life in Bold, where I sit down with (mostly) queer comedians to talk about being authentic, pursuing our dreams, and a bit of the business side of comedy. Basically, all my projects connect to one idea: being bold. Embracing who you are, celebrating your journey, and chasing the dreams that fuel you.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

My advice for anyone starting out—whether in their career or life—is twofold.

First, learn to embrace feedback, and then actively seek it out from people you respect. When I was in my early twenties, I created a “personal board of directors” made up of people just a little older than me. We’d have “board meetings” where I’d present my goals and aspirations, and they’d help me refine my plans, adding structure and making sure I stayed aligned with what I set out to achieve. This might not be your exact method, but the essence is what matters: building a network of people invested in your success who are willing to help guide you, especially when you’re starting out. I apply this all the time in my comedy—I’ll often send a song to another comedian and simply ask, “How can I make this funnier?” or “Does this hit the mark on XYZ?” Collaboration like that is invaluable.

But here’s the flip side: you also need to trust yourself. Listen to your gut, understand your values, and know that you’re the one who will ultimately make every decision. At some point, you have to quiet the noise from others and do what you know is right for you. You can ask for advice or feedback all day long, but in the end, it’s your call.

Self-awareness and authenticity have been at the core of any success I’ve found. So, I encourage anyone reading this to invest in getting to know yourself—whether through therapy, self-exploration, journaling, reading, whatever works for you. That awareness and authenticity will be your compass.

All the wisdom you’ve shared today is sincerely appreciated. Before we go, can you tell us about the main challenge you are currently facing?

I’m currently in a vulnerable spot in my journey. Yes, my comedy career is going extremely well, and it brings me great joy—but I’m searching for what’s next in my professional career. With a background in HR and Learning and Development (organizing employee trainings), I’m in the process of job hunting—something we all know can be both challenging and frustrating. I’m in the midst of deciding what my next step should be!

I love learning and development, but I also feel drawn toward other things. I’m questioning whether I should apply my production or marketing skills to a role within a company. There’s also a part of me that wants to one day work fully for myself—maybe as a consultant or business owner. In the long run, I dream of supporting myself through my creative and business endeavors.

I’m focusing on two things to work through this.

First, I’m navigating the balance between my long-term dreams and passions and what I need to do right now to survive and meet my needs. For me, that means finding a role within a company where I feel fulfilled and excited about the work but that still allows me a few evenings a week to work on my personal projects.

I’m also realizing that all the noise in my head isn’t helping me get closer to my core. I spend a lot of time on social media, watching podcasts, writing, creating, filming, performing, and ideating—but I don’t spend much time sitting still. A best friend of mine recently told me, “I promise you, if you start meditating, your life will change,” and I believe her! I’ve heard many thought leaders talk about how meditation has opened their minds and lives to so much more. I feel like there’s something special inside me that I haven’t quite tapped into—something I might access if I can quiet the noise a bit. So, I’m going to give it a try! I’m starting today with a challenge: five minutes of guided meditation each day for seven days. We’ll see where it takes me!

Contact Info:

• Website: http://www.laughwithben.com
• Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/laughwithben
• Youtube: https://youtube.com/@laughwithben

Image Credits

Denise Klerx
Megan Kinsman