We recently connected with Benjamin Kelly and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Benjamin, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
The short answer is therapy! But really for anyone who has gone to therapy realizes it’s words and power you already have inside yourself. So the journey is often finding your own voice in how you want to talk to yourself. That is such a huge practice. So many people have a terrible relationship with themselves and understanding that was key for me.
All the things I struggled with as far as insecurities, and jealousy, and not thinking I looked good etc… They were all byproducts of a narrative that I had sold myself as a child. So you have to realize that there is scared young version of yourself in there that hasn’t been helped in a long time, and so these primitive ideas about yourself end up sticking around. So the work was finding a way to love all of those parts of me. And not just accept but really love! Which was the scariest thing I could ever do at that time. But through that work I found myself feeling lighter, then feeling excited, and then releasing all this tension that I had. As I worked on it I found myself being super confident and not caring about other perceptions of me. And forging a self esteem that was for the first time truly authentic. And as that took hold I began to love the work I did, I began to live freely and make things freely. Which when you have it feels like a superpower. Up Up and away!
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My brand is called Dinosaur Hampton. It’s a clothing brand, but also a vessel for me to make anything I want.
I started playing the bass guitar in High School, which was my gateway to all things creative. Making music and being in bands was addictive, and blossomed into a career as a musician. Yearning for larger things I started making theatre and then designing anything my brain could come up with. Always evolving and looking for one thing: Freedom
Dinosaur Hampton is that freedom I was looking for. Rooted in a love of clothing and style, the brand is my opportunity to make anything I want. I can make dish sets, curtains, furniture, music, etc… I want to go to a laboratory every day with amazing people and make awesome stuff. That is the dream I am currently living.
I started this brand 7 years ago without ever sewing before. But it hit me like a bold of lighting and so it was written. I am gonna make clothes. I bought a machine and started making goofy unwearable experiments, which has grown into my newest creation which is a completely ready to wear unisex collection of fall clothing. Made in the studio. My hope is these clothes will help people fall in love with their style, and stay in the loop as I keep making whatever pops into my mind.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Curiosity, Grit, Love.
Curiosity keeps us engaged in the world. Looking for things and searching. I’m fortunate that I have this organically. But everywhere I go I find things interesting. With curiosity you never need to have a plan, because you will always just be trying to keep up with the infinite paths your body takes you.
Grit is crucial. It’s not just work ethic or passion. It’s your ability to do what feels impossible. It’s working in the studio all night even though your tired, and not just because you have a burst of inspiration, but because you have a deadline and you know that is important. Grit is also looking at a situation that has just blown up, and finding a way to solve it even though all you want to do is quit. It means you love every part if what your making, more that everyone else. Grit is a reaction to love. Grit gets you out of the deep holes and shoots you to the moon.
Love is everything. Obviously but also not so. We can get confused about why we do things because there are a lot of other important reasons. We consider profit, outcome, other people, environment, etc… All important but none can succeed unless there is some love. Humans are capable of so much, and I think the unique gift we have is to love.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
Building a business is hard we all know. And we all hate talking about money, but I think it’s because we don’t understand why we need money.
Simply the world uses money so that is why we need it to live in the world. If the world used ghost stories as currency we would all have a flashlight. So that makes money necessary. I think the fallacy is thinking money is that last stop on the bus. When actually money is a middle man. When you remove the emotion you realize money is a way to store/hold time. We spend time now so we can make money, so we can spend money later to take time. So by that logic the end goal is time and money is a means to achieve it.
The challenge for pretty much every business is money or cash flow. But I always think about if I wont the lottery, I would still need to budget, find time, hire people, and would inevitably have the same issues I had with no money. Which means money unencumbered isn’t really a solution.
The challenge for me is growing this business while looking at the small, medium and big picture. There are needs for money and problems to solve now, but how much of my time does that take to get that money, and is that precious time to be traded on now, or is it more valuable next year, or in ten years. Will an investment now pay out in the future not just in profits, but in my ability to take a walk on the beach? If I grind for the next 6 months, how much time will that buy me before I have to go back under water?
These abstract equations are my way of trying to think holistically about what this company does and where I want it to go. And I am just a human. I have bad days where I get stressed about money and loose sight of the larger goal. Then there are days where I feel completely content. But then sometimes I want a private jet! haha. I think this is the honest process all people, especially entrepreneurs go through. The hazard is mistaking the tool in the middle as the end goal. And using what I described earlier (Love) to understand what I really want. I want delicious food with friends. I want to dance around others dancing. I want to swim into a wave. I want to see clothes I made of amazing people. I want to laugh until milk comes out my nose. And it could be said that I actually already have all of those things. BUT… will this work allow my capacity to grow.
Time and money are always challenges. And I think the job is showing up each day and working to remember which is which, and how everything coexists together.
Contact Info:
- Website: dinosaurhampton.com
- Instagram: @dinosaurhampton
Image Credits
Photos by Driven Dreams Media, Aaron Morganstein, Kaleb Musser
