We were lucky to catch up with Beth McCarter recently and have shared our conversation below.
firstName}, thank you so much for agreeing to talk with us about a deeply personal and sensitive topic. Postpartum depression affects so many in the community and hearing from someone who has overcome PPD might help someone who is going through it right now. For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience
PPD hit me like a ton of bricks. I’d never experienced anything besides generalized anxiety before my first pregnancy, so it was a total shock to my system when I started envisioning suicide right after giving birth.
I had a traumatic birth experience and ended up with 4th degree tears after delivering my 10 pound daughter naturally. The doctor had been less than sympathetic; in fact, he actually told me to be quiet during the 2 hours I was pushing. Then, he followed up the ordeal with a ‘I bet you wish you had had a c-section! Those are some of the worst tears I’ve ever seen.’
The conditions directly after birth were not ideal, either. My daughter started having episodes where she would start gasping and then pass out. We rushed her to the hospital multiple times before her 3rd month, only to be told that she checked out just fine. We’ve since found out that both she (and my 2nd child) have an intense vagal nerve reaction to stress and will occasionally pass out, something that is technically harmless and that they will hopefully outgrow.
When my daughter was about 3 months old, I lost my teaching job. My male principal had told me that it was apparent that ‘all I cared about was that baby” and that it was clear “I didn’t want to be there” for hours outside of my contract. He also denied my request to go to my infant daughter’s cardiology appointment to check her out for her fainting episodes. As a result of my job loss, it looked like we were going to lose our house, which we were in the process of buying.
Outside factors, compounding with the actual trauma of the birth itself, were just too much. I was a nervous wreck, imagining horrible things happening to my daughter due to my incapability to be a good mother. My milk didn’t let down for an entire week, and in my hormone-induced state, I told myself that there was no point in being alive. I made a place to kill myself immediately. That’s when my milk finally dropped, and it clicked inside my head that hormones were at the foundation of my depression and anxiety. If I hadn’t had an older female teacher friend clue me in that these symptoms weren’t normal, I probably wouldn’t be here today.
I called the doctor. After jumping through a couple hoops that included a fairly dehumanizing doctor’s appointment, I was prescribed an anti-depressant. The six weeks it took to ‘kick in’ will go down as the worst time of my life; I wavered between intense depression episodes, panic attacks, and some auditory hallucinations.
Finally, the meds kicked in. The difference was night and day. Finally, I felt normal again! Although I dealt with some anxiety and depression, they were at manageable levels.
6 years later, I was diagnosed with ADHD and began treatment. My anxiety and depression have completed washed away with ADHD medication. My life is nearly perfect, and I feel happy and at peace. Since then, I’ve learned that Postpartum Depression and Anxiety is highly co-morbid with ADHD. I wish I had the tools I do now to have dealt with PPD back then. I’m just thankful to be here now.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I am an email marketer and copywriter. I kind of fell into the career. Although I’ve always loved writing, after college I became a certified bilingual teacher and spent 7 years in that space. I taught both elementary and middle school Spanish and then taught English as a Second Language for adults in the evenings at the local community college.. I have a huge passion for education, but teaching in the classroom became too stressful, and wasn’t making enough money to pay my bills let alone live a comfortable lifestyle. I left teaching during the pandemic and started homeschooling my two kids. We started traveling extensively and have been to multiple countries as a family.
As a copywriter, I almost exclusively focus on email copy. I love emails, and have a hard time understanding why anyone would think they’re a chore! I remember emailing my grandma back and forth when I was about 7, I thought it was so cool and fun.
I’ve had immense success with my clients as an email marketer… It almost happened overnight and I started making almost as much money as I did as a teacher, but I get to be at home with my kids. It’s awesome that I’m continually collecting data that shows what I do works and using that as leverage to get new clients. I also love actually get paid for the hours I put in, instead of the endless free labor that goes along with teaching.
As a consultant, I get to do what I really love; help other people understand email marketing. Although I like writing copy, I really enjoy teaching other business owners how to get the most out of their emails. It’s like getting to be a teacher, a writer, and a marketer all at once.
I just got signed on with a really cool agency in the U.K. and will be making more money per project than I would have ever thought possible back in my teacher days. I’m so glad I finally chose this career path, even if it took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do. I love that I get to write and get paid for it, because there are lots of writers in my family but they haven’t monetized their work.
My company, which is hosted on my blog BethMcCarter.com, helps bloggers and other online business owners embrace email marketing and recognize it for the awesome potential that it has.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
I’ve found that a willingness to learn and try new things is a must. I can’t tell you how many of my former co-workers tell me that they wish they could change careers like I did, but they’re afraid of branching out from the field of education. Unfortunately, it can be really hard to convince companies that your skills are transferrable. That’s why I decided to try email copywriting. I took a class, put what I learned into some practice projects and stored them in a portfolio, then pitched to a couple of business owners I knew inside Facebook blogging groups. Now, I’m working for a great email marketing agency as well as continuing to serve my own clients.
Mindset is really important. It sounds trite, and there’s more to it than this, but if you’re really negative and hard on yourself you will make slower progress towards your goals than if you were positive. Over the last couple of years, I’ve dedicated a good chunk of my time working towards developing a positive mindset, in fact, I’m attending a webinar tomorrow about preventing self-sabotage when you have ADHD. I wouldn’t be anywhere as close to my goals if I hadn’t shed some really negative thought processes before now.
Finally, this sounds obvious, but the ability to easily network is super important. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that you put yourself in the spaces where you want to be. I’ve intentionally put myself in spaces where I knew there were people attending who were living the life I wanted. Not because I love being social, in fact, I kind of hate being social. But because I know that unless I get out there and make connections with people who have “made it”, I’m not going anywhere. Plus, it’s really important to see that the level of success you want for yourself is attainable. Representation is really important.
Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?
I’ve read so many self-help books the past few years to help get in a better place where I believe more in myself – as someone with ADHD I can be hyper critical of myself. One of the most meaningful books I’ve ever read is by Gay Hendricks and is called “The Big Leap”. It’s all about finding your calling and then getting out of your own way so you can live your live without limits. It deals a lot with self-sabotage. The thing that resonated the most with me about Hendricks’ research is that he said people intentionally block good things from happening to them because they want to feel safe, and that taking a ‘big leap’ is scary because your evolutionary brain is trying to protect you from the unknown. He gives step-by-step instructions into how to get comfortable taking big leaps, and emphasizes the importance of doing so because you don’t want to be stuck living at the edge of your potential.
Contact Info:
- Website: bethmccarter.com
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bwmccarter/
Image Credits
Bethany McCarter
