We recently connected with Betsy Russell and have shared our conversation below.
Betsy, we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hops that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
In March of 2020 my husband went on a medical leave of absence from work because of debilitating depression and anxiety. The first few months we just tried to get him to pull out of it but nothing seemed to help. After 6 months of push back he finally went to see a therapist and psychiatrist. Within 6 months he was diagnosed with OCD. Within a few months of his diagnosis 3 or my 4 kids were diagnosed with OCD and other anxiety disorders. My fourth and youngest was too young to be officially diagnosed but a year later she was also diagnosed with OCD. From June-October of 2021 I spent at least 6 hours per week in family therapy for each of the 4 diagnosed members of my family. A year later, from October-December 2022 my husband and I alternated driving my 8 year old daughter to her therapy sessions that were 5 days/wk, 3 hours/day. My husband was on mental health disability for over 2 years and just went back to work in August.
I haven’t overcome mental health challenges. They still exist and always will for me and my family. I have persisted. Sometimes I have persisted tremendously well, other times not so well. But I have persisted none the less. From the beginning I have been going to my own personal therapy sessions. This has been a real lifeline for me. Understanding myself, my strengths, weaknesses, and distorted thinking has cleared the path for me and helped me pave a path for my family. Taking time for self-care and development has been crucial as I have been stretched so thin in caring for the mental, emotional, and physical needs or my family. Early on I also started posting on social media, writing emails and blog posts about all the amazing information I was receiving and ultimately developing and writing a children’s anxiety workbook . This has been therapeutic and solidifying for me and continues to bring me joy and healing. Being seen, heard, and validated by others was a healing balm. Just as healing has been the opportunity for me to see, hear, and validate others in their mental health struggles.
This journey has been excruciating, healing, frustrating, enlightening, devastating, joyous, exhausting, and life-saving. Understanding what’s going on inside our brain, body, and heart is liberating and empowering. This knowledge I have gained and now implement daily in my life and teach to others is the only way I have persisted through countless road blocks and heartbreaks. Mental illness will always be a part of my family’s life. We accept that. And with that acceptance we also do the things every day that will help us live a free and happy life in the midst of mental illness.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
As a mental health advocate and teacher I share my knowledge and training on my podcast (The Untangling Anxiety Podcast) and on Facebook and Instagram. These spaces allow me to share all that I have learned and continue to learn about promoting mental health and wellness.
I have recently re-released my Children’s Anxiety Workbook on Amazon. I also plan to release a Teen and Adult version of the workbook. This workbook is a culmination of all that my family and I have learned from hundreds of hours of therapy. The workbook is therapist reviewed and recommended. It is a wonderful resource while on a waiting list for therapy, companion while going to therapy, aftercare resource to stay up on all that you have learned in therapy, or a wonderful preventative of educational tool for those of us who may not now struggle with anxiety.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1. self care and compassion 2. appropriate boundaries
3. mental illness awareness – what’s going on inside our brain
Finding self compassion and care has been so crucial for me. I spent a good portion of my life focusing on the “shoulds” and not really listening to my own voice. I have developed a relationship with myself. I have spent time healing old wounds and caring for all the wonderful, vulnerable versions of myself. I am comfortable being still and quiet. That ability has empowered me to use my own intuition and to love being in my own skin and honoring choices I make and finding so much joy in each moment I am given.
Boundaries are crucial. Learning what is mine and what is someone else’s has been liberating. When I am living in a space that is just mine I have so much more energy to participate fully and authentically in life. Not worrying about pleasing others or avoiding judgement is invigorating. Understanding that it’s not my responsibility to protect those I love from their own choices has provided space for me to more fully love, admire, enjoy, and respect them.
When I discovered that our brain is built to warn us when there is danger but that all it is is a warning, and we get to choose how to respond to that warning a whole new world of possibilities opened up to me. For so long my family and I were living with the assumption that our thoughts were part of who we are and what we believe and what we value the most. I have learned that thoughts are just thoughts. Our brain produces thousands of thoughts a day. Our heart and soul gets to choose what to accept and what to discard. With mental illness that filtration system doesn’t work as well. But with knowledge and practice we begin to understand and filter more effectively. The knowledge I have gained has been empowering and healing.
What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?
The biggest obstacle I am facing is finding a balance between all the responsibilities and weight that I carry as a mother and wife to those with mental illness and being a mental health advocate. I feel a great desire and pull towards helping and supporting others. I love doing my podcast and posting on SM but I struggle with maintaining a schedule and keeping up with it while also support my family and my own self care. I want to be involved with and collaborate with others yet I also know that my family comes first. I also struggle with online settings. I’m an in person kind of person 😉
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @untanglinganxiety
- Facebook: Untangling Anxiety
- Youtube: @untanglinganxiety
- Other: The Untangling Anxiety Podcast Quiet Your Worry Monster – A Children’s Anxiety Workbook – on Amazon
