We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Brian Kesley a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Brian, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.
Honestly, I haven’t! I still struggle with it every day. I have come to learn that it is incredibly normal for people to feel they are an imposter in music and I am working on having a healthy relationship with it. For me it started in college when I got to jazz school and was brutally awakened about where I was in my musicianship compared to other people my age and it has never left me since. I was lucky enough to study with some living legends and even more lucky to study alongside some future legends. I realized very, very quickly that I would never be able to be certain type of player in that space, and it was imperative for me to find my own way. Because of my imposter syndrome I broadened my point of view and embraced the fact that I am a little, if not a lot, scattered brained and interested in a lot of different areas. I spent the rest of my college experience soaking up as many diverse experiences and view points as I could, knowing that being a “jazz” musician was never going to be enough to satisfy all that I wanted to explore. After I did a standards gig in a hotel in Dubai for six months, I decided I would never play jazz as a career path ever again. I studied traditional West African drumming and dancing, orchestration, composition. After school I learned more about computers by working at a repair shop in NYC while I started playing in rock bands with friends. I played electronic music and pop music with up and coming artists while I also played with singer-song writers and country bands. I played as much as I possibly could. I learned about pedals, synthesizers, sound design, and production. I worked at music festivals to get a sense of how events came together. I was fascinated by all the planning, logistics, communication, collaboration it took to get 100,000 together. I was fascinated by all these things.
Now I have the privilege of drawing upon all my experience as a musical director in LA. If my imposter syndrome has done nothing else for me, it made me want to learn more than I already know to empower myself. I know I still have my imposter syndrome because I still have that desire to learn. I work with so many people who are experts at what they do and I want to know what they need to do their job, what annoys them. what gets them excited, what motivates them. I now take a very wholistic approach to every project and try to consider as many view points as possible. Artists, managers, label execs, drummers, keyboardists, playback techs, guitar techs, tour managers, production managers, audio engineers all need different things and happiness on the road is having a team of people who all know they are being supported by those around them. My imposter syndrome makes me think about the team and the music first and that really seems to work, for me anyways.
I know I can be kinder to myself still. Imposter syndrome is cruel in that way. I really focus on living with it now, as opposed to beating it. At my best I am appreciative of all that it has pushed me to do.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I am musical director, composer and bass player living in Laguna Beach, CA. I spent 12 formative years in NYC before moving west when I met my now wife Caroline and we are expecting first child in a few weeks! That is by far the most exciting part of my life right now and I am so lucky I get to be home for a few months and able to focus on family at this time. I got my start in musical direction after many years of playing in bands in NYC. I didn’t learn the work no until I was 33 I think. I was doing a particularly funny gig with a cabaret singer in a divey bar called Stephen Talkhouse in the Hamptons. At the after party I was in a hot tub and nice man said he really enjoyed the show. I said thank you and he asked if I had ever worked with backing tracks as he had an artist he was producing that booked a Today Show performance. He needed help putting together the band and arranging the tracks for that show. I said I could absolutely do that, got the same band together that played that dive and 2 weeks later we played on the today show. It was so fun and everyone seemed to think it went well. I decided that this musical director thing was way better than just playing bass. The next few years were spent working with a ton of artists in New York. I learned a lot very quickly and was fortunate to have a lot of very talented friends who have always supported me along the way. especially in the early stages of my career. They answered my questions, referred me for gigs, gave me pep talks, and showed me the power of a strong network of people you can lean on. Later I got hooked up with Maggie Rogers for her first tour ever. We hoped in van in Jan 2017 and have hardly stopped since. It’s been an incredible ride and still very honored to be apart of something so special. I moved to LA in between tours in late 2017. I got quickly connected to Vinnie Ferra at the Beehive. Vinnie and his team have been a long standing friendship and collaborators of whom I can’t speak more highly. In the years since I began working with them we have done dozens of projects and all of them have pushed me and made me a better in one way or another. In 2020-2022 during the pandemic I took a leave from the touring world and joined full time staff at QCode Productions where we made narrative podcasts. I worked in the music department as a music editor and composer on 14 shows. In 2022, I went back to touring when Maggie asked me to return as bass player and musical director for her second LP ‘Surrender’. We played some of my favorite shows of my career in 2022-2023 and are gearing up for another big year in support of her next record later this year. Also, in the last few years I have been able to collaborate with other musical directors in a wide variety of rolls such as composing original music for video content, keyboard and guitar sound design, Ableton programing, arranging, orchestrating, and contracting musicians. I love how every day is wildly different. I keep telling myself, if I wanted to do the same thing all the time I would have gotten a real job. Fake jobs are more fun!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
The first most important skill I use every day is from my waiting tables days. Customer service! Being communicative, respectful and efficient when dealing with people is everything. No matter if you are working with someone, for someone, or they are working for you. Showing people that their concerns are your concerns makes every situation easier. All really simple things you pick up on while waiting tables are applicable anytime you are working with anyone in any capacity. The second is trouble shooting. Fixing computers in college I learned how to get to the the source of the problem and that is something that is useful in every context. Whether it’s a a budget issue in the planning stage, a personality issue on tour, an arrangement issue in rehearsal, or a mix issue in post. Dealing with creative projects always require trouble shooting on every level. The third quality I think is persistence. If something is not working are feeling hard, just stay the course and don’t get discouraged. Take breaks, clear your head and come back but never give up. Everything I’ve ever done that I am proud had a moment where I thought “This is not going to work”. After staying the course and believing that I was on the right path, things have always snapped into place. In the end it was always worth it.
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
Always! I think collaboration is key to happy life and career. I am always looking to meet new people and do new things. Always reach out for any reason. Social media is usually best. If you are an artist, manager, musician, director at any level, I want to hear from you. I’m never too busy to meet someone new and try something new.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rodgerbrian/
Image Credits
All Photos taken by Nicole Mago, @nicolemago
