Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Brooke Davidoff. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Brooke, thank you so much for joining us today. Let’s jump right into something we’re really interested in hearing about from you – being the only one in the room. So many of us find ourselves as the only woman in the room, the only immigrant or the only artist in the room, etc. Can you talk to us about how you have learned to be effective and successful in situations where you are the only one in the room like you?
In spaces where HIV Activists gather white cisgender women are defiantly a minority, Funny, I was asked this same question on a panel at a conference I was presenting on in Dallas, Texas earlier this year. Of the demographics attending this three-day women’s HIV educational, motivational and relaxation filled weekend 79% of the attendees were Black/African American and only 7% were white. So, when I was asked this question being very much a minority, yet I don’t see if as a disadvantage I believe that while growing up in San Diego, California where at least half of my classmates were not white, which gave me and advantage here. To me that’s not abnormal, it does not make me feel uncomfortable. I let the women in the room know, that my fight is against HIV stigma, and to educate HIV negative women who are having unprotected sex letting them know they are at risk, because I believe often their Dr’s fail to do so.
In this fight, I often feel like one of the Portland Mom’s at the Black Lives Matter Rallies. I’m used to not being a ‘majority’ especially inside of HIV activism spaces, and I feel weird in mostly white spaces. In this battle I will use my white privilege to help educate others. In spaces where everyone doesn’t look like me, that feels normal, so I carry on because my message is the same no matter what you look like. Unless you are using condoms, or on PrEP and you are sexually active you have no idea what you might wake up with. HIV is invisible, on people’s faces, and when you look at them naked.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
Little did I know when I majored in journalism from high school through college in the late 90’s, that when I was 30, those skills would come in handy. No one expects to be diagnosed with AIDS, especially me after my first well-baby check with my OBG YN at just under two months pregnant and three months married. Within months of my unexpected diagnosis I had been linked up with a women’s HIV support group in Seattle called The BABES Network. Those women changed my life. After my high risk OBG YN suggested I check out a website called TheBody.com my journey lead itself. It was poetry month on their website, and I had been writing poetry since I was in middle school. I sent in a poem and brief bio explaining I was newly diagnosed and lost in my search for books of other women who had been diagnosed only because they were pregnant. I began to write my own book and informed whoever read entries of poems at The Body that I had begun doing just that,
The more these new Dr.’s began telling me about HIPAA and my right to ‘shut up’ I realized, if stigma kept me silent, I was putting the lives of other straight women at risk.
So, when an editor at TheBody wrote back asking if I’d accept an invitation to become a blogger on their website it took little time to make my decision. Within months of my AIDS diagnosis, I was a contracted blogger with zero education in HIV anything.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
First, I needed the self-confidence to believe my voice could make a difference, when the editor asked me to be a blogger I re-told her I knew nothing about living with HIV/AIDS. I asked her how could I possibly write about it for others? She told me, that’s exactly why I should write about it. With my journalism background I wanted to have my own opinion column, in college I did, ‘Babbling Brooke,’ that version of me wrote about countless topics. The Body’s website back in 2010 didn’t have many women writers, so I saw that as my opportunity to step into the room.
I began writing about how I didn’t believe I should be here. Having been put on birth control when I was 18, in every OBG YN appointment to follow I informed them when asked, that I was not making male partners wear condoms. I was on birth control when with long term boyfriends, no Dr. ever suggested I take an HIV test. I was not given one until I was pregnant and I don’t think I even knew it was one of the blood tests done. This was a huge issue for me to get over, I am probably still not over IT. The fire inside of me is still angry about the lack of pre-HIV education given to straight sexually active people. Sex unprotected is ‘high risk’ for everyone.
I blogged through my own research, and awkward experiences within medical offices, to accidentally outing myself to others when conversations seemed to flow into HIV topics. I needed to believe in my voice, and ability to connect to people with the hopes of reaching them before they had the opportunity to become positive themselves, this kept me writing.
My conformation that my voice was needed also among positive people was in the pages of emails from positive readers, letting me know they had similar stories. They didn’t know, they were never told, and now we were blood brothers and sisters. I needed that connection with others especially in the beginning of my HIV journey. I needed to know I was not alone, that I was going to be okay. The people I connected with because of these blogs have also changed my life.
We’ve all got limited resources, time, energy, focus etc – so if you had to choose between going all in on your strengths or working on areas where you aren’t as strong, what would you choose?
Go all in on your strengths, while highlighting what you do well, and continuing to build on known talents and strengths. This will give you the drive, and confidence to form additional strengths that will grow over time as you continue through unknowns. Uncertainty can lead to insecurities causing one to doubt their path or choices made; however, if you are led by a strength, follow your heart and intuition then you can skip the self-doubt phase.
Following my strengths into the great unknown was the way for me to sneak outside of my comfort zone, but also remain inside of it
Writing I knew I could do – the medical jargon was intimidating at first, but I knew I was not writing a medical journal. I was not writing for medical staff, or doctors, it was for myself and my positive community. I was giving insight and medical confusion validation to countless others who don’t write in their free time. As the years pass, and my published article count continues to grow, as well as articles I’ve been interviewed for collaboratively built my confidence to continue.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://muckrack.com/profile/portfolio
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brooke.davidoff
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brooke-davidoff-9757418a/
Image Credits
Pic 1 – Ruby Garner, Dawn Trotter, Me (maybe, red dress) Patricia McNeill Shelton – October 2024 SisterLove 20/20 Leading Women’s Society
Pic 2 me
Pic 3 Tana Pradia, Jamie Collins, Helen Zimba, and Brooke Davidoff (me) – Grace Conference May 2025 Dallas, Texas
Pic 4 The Missouri AIDS Watch 2025 DC Delegation & Senator Josh Hawley
Pic 5 Nikki Price & Me
Pic 6 SisterLove 20/20 Leading Women’s Society October 2024 alumni, inductees and honorees
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
