We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Bryan Benardino a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Bryan, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
This is a great question. Especially since in my work, part of what I do is help other men to discover their’s. You know how some people just seem to know what they’re meant to do with their lives? Yeah, I wasn’t one of those people. For years, I felt like a hamster on a wheel—running, sweating, going nowhere, and wondering why my life felt so… blah. I wasn’t living; I was just checking boxes. Get up, go to work, rinse, repeat. And somewhere deep down, I knew I was meant for more. I just had no idea how to find it.
The turning point came one New Year’s Eve about 16-17 years ago. The stroke of midnight and everyone’s popping champagne, yelling “Happy New Year!” I said that to my wife, sent a few texts to friends out of town, and then all of the sudden I’m sitting there,alone and feeling like I just got sucker-punched. Midnight struck, and instead of seeing a bright, shiny future, I saw… nothing. Blank. Darkness. I had this bone-deep certainty that I wouldn’t make it to another New Year’s.
One of my favorite movies is The Shawshank Redemption. There is a great line that Tim Robbins’s character, Andy Dufresne, says: “I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying.” That New Year’s night, let me tell you, that hit me like a two-by-four to the soul. I realized I had two options: keep sinking into the quicksand I’d created or start clawing my way out. Spoiler alert: I chose life.
Now, don’t get me wrong—this wasn’t some Hollywood montage where everything magically got better. I didn’t suddenly wake up with all the answers and a six-pack (though I did get healthy and start running a lot). It was a slow, messy process.
It wasn’t an overnight transformation. For months, I waded through that darkness, grappling with questions like, “What’s the point?” and “Is there even a way forward?” But slowly, I began to shift.
I started with small steps. Reading books, going on long runs, dabbling in meditation—which, at first, was just me sitting cross-legged, wondering what the hell I was supposed to be doing. Over time, though, I started to feel the fog lift. I began to understand myself in a way I never had before. It was like I’d spent years avoiding the mirror, and suddenly, I had no choice but to look.
What I saw was a guy who had spent his whole life trying to be what he thought others wanted. The “Nice Guy” who thought if he kept everyone else happy, his life would somehow fall into place. Spoiler: it didn’t. I realized I wasn’t just afraid of failure—I was afraid of success, of being seen, of stepping into my own damn life.
And then, one day, it clicked: I wasn’t the only one feeling this way. There were other men out there—just like me—silently struggling, trying to keep it together while feeling completely lost inside. That’s when I knew what I needed to do. My purpose wasn’t just about saving myself; it was about helping other men make the same choice Andy talked about: to get busy living.
Today, I help men connect with their authentic selves, find their purpose, and finally step into the lives they’ve been too afraid to claim. Is it perfect? No. But that’s the point. Purpose isn’t this shiny, Instagram-worthy thing. It’s gritty, it’s messy, and it’s absolutely worth every second.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
As I mentioned earlier, I decided the best way to live out my purpose was to serve others. I still have my full-time job in the corporate world. I’ve also founded The Mindful Masculine, a coaching practice dedicated to helping men reconnect with their true selves, live authentically, and embrace their higher, sacred masculine. If that sounds a little woo-woo and abstract, let me break it down: I guide men—guys who are stressed, stuck, or just plain lost—to find balance, purpose, and the kind of confidence that comes from the inside out.
Here’s the thing: living as a man today and modern masculinity can feel like a minefield. On one hand, there’s the old-school “tough guy” stereotype that tells us we have to have it all together, never show vulnerability, and basically carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. On the other hand, there’s the pressure to redefine masculinity entirely, which can leave men feeling like they’re walking a tightrope with no net.
That’s where The Mindful Masculine comes in. I’ve created a space where men can stop pretending and posturing and start getting real—with themselves and the people around them. It’s about redefining what strength means, not as some rigid, macho ideal but as something rooted in authenticity, empathy, and purpose. I believe that the equality, advancement, and, more importantly, safety of the feminine is in no way in opposition to our living as an authentic masculine. There is a lot of divisiveness and dangerous, inflammatory rhetoric out there on this subject. I believe that’s only going to continue and get louder. We need men who are not just good men, also good at being men. We can hold both thoughts in our heads: strong, empowering women AND real, authentic, trustable men.
What’s Exciting or Special About What I Do?
Honestly? Everything. But if I had to choose, it’s watching men have those lightbulb moments—the ones where they realize they don’t have to live on autopilot anymore. Through my flagship program, The Mindful Masculine Integration Mastery, I guide men on a 12-week journey of self-discovery. It’s transformative, and I don’t use that word lightly. We dive deep into ancient archetypes (King, Warrior, Magician, Lover) and blend them with modern mindfulness techniques to help men find balance, build stronger relationships, and define what success means to them.
One of the most special things about this work is the ripple effect. When a man connects with his authentic self, it’s not just his life that changes—it’s his relationships, his community, and even the legacy he leaves behind. That’s powerful.
What’s New?
Right now, I’m rolling out a few exciting projects:
I’m lauching my YouTube channel and The Mindful Masculine podcast where I dive into everything from mindfulness practices to relationship advice. It’s raw, unfiltered, and 100% dedicated to helping men navigate life’s complexities.
I’m in the process of coming out with some mini-courses that are smaller aspects of my signature program.
And I’m working on building a stronger community for men to connect, learn, and support each other on this journey. Think group coaching, Q&A sessions, and a whole lot of real talk.
I’m working to put myself out there and connect with others.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Looking back, I can see that three things have shaped my journey more than anything else: self-awareness, resilience, and communication. These weren’t qualities that came naturally to me—I had to earn them the hard way, through trial, error, and a healthy dose of stubborn persistence. Let me break them down and share some advice for anyone just starting their journey.
1. Self-Awareness:
Self-awareness has been the biggest game changer for me. For a long time, I felt liek I was just drifting in the fog, unsure of where I was going or why I felt so stuck. Learning to pause, reflect, and truly understand myself—my values, my fears, and what lights me up—was like finally being able to see clearly, in high definition.
I’ve learned that the strength and comfort of being true to yourself, just as you are, your sense of self-worth has nothing to do with what you’ve achieved or how talented you are but everything to do with your fundamental values.
The outcomes and results we have are a direct result of our actions. Our actions create the results we have in our life. And it is our feelings that determine our actions, even though we’d all like to think that our actions are a direct result of our rational thought.
Simply said, a situation happens, and we have ideas about the facts of that circumstance; those thoughts create feelings, and those feelings lead to behaviors that influence the situation (either favorably or adversely), and so on.
Thoughts >> Feelings >> Actions >> Results
Your behaviors and outcomes do not give you confidence. It generates your behaviors and outcomes. Confidence is a combination of abilities that includes how you think and how you focus your thoughts.
While we can’t change the relationships between our thoughts, feelings, actions, and results, we can be aware of how they influence each other. This awareness gives us the ability to optimize each of the chain elements, which is what gives me a sense of a quiet confidence.
Here’s what I did to develop it:
Start small. Take 10 minutes at the end of each day to reflect. Ask yourself:
What went well today?
What didn’t?
What does that say about what I value?
Journaling helps too. And if you’re feeling ambitious, try mindfulness or meditation. Trust me, nothing puts your inner chaos on blast quite like sitting still for five minutes and listening to your own thoughts.
2. Resilience: Getting Back Up
Life has a way of knocking you on your ass—sometimes repeatedly. Resilience isn’t about dodging those hits; it’s about learning how to get back up, dust yourself off, and keep going. For me, resilience was born out of necessity. When you hit rock bottom and realize no one’s coming to save you, you find a way to stand back up.
I developed this while doing endurance sports and triathlons. I’ve done multiple distances, including two Iron Man triathlons. I taught myself to just keep putting one foot in front of the other (or peddling or kicking). There’s going to be a lot of stuff I can’t control, the wind, the hills, the heat (I live in Texas), it even hailed on me during one Iron Man. Just keep going. I can walk, I can rest, whatever. I just don’t stop.
Here’s what I did to develop it:
Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Seriously, lean into challenges instead of avoiding them. Start by doing something outside your comfort zone every week. It could be as simple as having a difficult conversation or signing up for a new class. Each little win builds your resilience muscle.
And remember: resilience doesn’t mean going it alone. Ask for help when you need it. Find your tribe, your coach, or your support system. That’s something that men inherently have a lot of difficulty doing.
3. Communication: Connecting, Not Just Talking
Here’s the thing about communication: it’s not just about expressing yourself. It’s about listening, understanding, and connecting. For years, I struggled to express what I felt. I either bottled it up or blurted it out in ways that didn’t land. Learning to communicate openly and effectively has transformed my relationships—and my life.
I believed what many guys who suffer from the “Nice Guy” Syndrome believe: If I am a good guy, everyone will love and like me and the people I desire will want me. If I meet the needs of others without asking, they will meet mine without asking. If I do everything right, I will have a smooth and problem-free life. Of course none of these work for a number of reasons. But us Nice Guys are convinced that they should, even though it doens’t make sense.
I learned that only through open, honest communication could I take responsibility for getting my needs met and creating for fulfilling relationships with others.
Here’s what I did to develop it:
Listen more than you speak. I know, it’s hard. But instead of planning your response while the other person talks, try really listening to what they’re saying.
Practice vulnerability. Start small—share something personal with a trusted friend and see how it feels. Vulnerability is a superpower, not a weakness.
Read or take a course on communication. Books like Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg or Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson are great places to start.
If you’re at the start of your journey, here’s what I’d say:
Be kind to yourself. Growth isn’t a straight line, and you’re going to stumble. That’s part of the process.
Invest in yourself. Whether it’s time, money, or energy, put it into things that help you grow—books, coaching, or even just taking time to reflect.
Keep showing up. Some days, it’ll feel like nothing’s changing. But over time, those small, consistent efforts add up to something big.
And one last thing: don’t forget to enjoy the ride. Sure, it’s a journey, and it’s also your journey. Take pride in every step forward, no matter how small.
Who is your ideal client or what sort of characteristics would make someone an ideal client for you?
Who Is My Ideal Client?
He’s someone I know really well because, frankly, I’ve been him. He is the guy who looks like he has it all together—a good career, family, maybe even a decent house in the suburbs—but on the inside, he feels like he’s barely keeping it together. He’s stressed, overwhelmed, and wondering why life feels so empty despite checking all the boxes.
He’s the guy who wakes up at 3 a.m., staring at the ceiling, replaying every mistake he’s ever made while also dreading the day ahead. He’s overworked, under-fulfilled, and stuck in a loop of self-doubt. And to top it all off, he doesn’t feel like he can talk to anyone about it because, hey, “real men don’t show weakness,” right? He may not even have anyone to talk to about it.
His daily life is a whirlwind of stress, self-doubt, and unmet expectations. Despite his achievements, he feels like something vital is missing. It’s that nagging thought of, “Is this really all there is?” He’s juggling work, family, and personal obligations, but it’s taking a toll—on his health, his relationships, and his sense of self. He has spent so long suppressing his feelings that he’s forgotten how to let them out in a healthy way. Even when he succeeds, he can’t shake the feeling that he’s just faking it and someday everyone will find out. He’s stuck in a routine that doesn’t excite him, unsure of what his next step should be.
And he knows something has to change. He’s tired of pretending everything’s fine and is ready to explore a new way of living, one that doesn’t involve hiding behind a mask or bottling up his emotions. He knows there’s no magic pill for self-improvement. He’s willing to roll up his sleeves, dig deep, and face the uncomfortable truths that have been holding him back. He isn’t just looking for another promotion or a shinier car. He wants a life that feels meaningful—a life where he’s not just existing but truly living. Whether it’s strengthening his relationships or building new ones, He is ready to drop the B.S. and show up as his authentic self.
His journey is raw and real, and that’s what I love about working with him. It takes courage to admit that you’re not where you want to be and even more courage to do something about it. Watching him go from feeling lost and stuck to stepping into his purpose, building deeper connections, and living a life that feels authentic—it’s what gets me out of bed every morning.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://themindfulmasculine.com/
- Instagram: @bryanbenardino
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1257866458138191
- Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/bryan-benardino
- Twitter: @BryanBenardino
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@the_mindful_masculine
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