Meet Cait Chock

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Cait Chock. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Hi Cait , thank you for being such a positive, uplifting person. We’ve noticed that so many of the successful folks we’ve had the good fortune of connecting with have high levels of optimism and so we’d love to hear about your optimism and where you think it comes from.

I never know how to properly react when people tell me, “You’re so positive! How are you able to be so optimistic?” A sentiment I DO get a lot, probably mostly because I’m a people pleaser who smiles a lot. I don’t know how to react because I’m torn between giving them what they want to hear (a giant smile, a thank you, and offering some uplifting message) and then the honest answer.

The truth is: I’m mentally ill, a dark sense of humor is my preferred coping mechanism, and I’ve lost so many things that were incredibly important to me that I’ve kind of stopped caring…so I just smile and laugh my way through life.

That sounds pretty gd grim, would scare most people, and risk them calling a mental health facility…lol. But the people who understand what I mean would relate in a way that we both would wind up laughing. While on the surface it may sound dark af…I want to tease out some of the nuances.

I am mentally ill (depression, anxiety, OCD, ADD) and it’s shaped who I am because, well, it’s how my brain works. It’s not fun living with my brain, but I make a point of talking about it to help others feel less alone. Growing up I was made to feel like I was alone, that I was a ‘freak’, a ‘fuck-up’, a ‘failure’ because I couldn’t just be ‘normal’. Whatever ‘normal’ is. Those labels only worsened things and I want to do anything I can to help others NOT feel like that. I do so usually through humor because a laugh it is such a powerful, instant connection you can make with someone.

My first love was running, I set the National High School Record for the track 5k, then signed to run professionally for Nike immediately after high school. At the time, running was my passion, all my dreams were linked to it, as well as the majority of my identity. One day I was out running, got hit by a car, and the impact ripped my right leg off.

In an instant, I lost my career, my hopes, my dreams, and a giant piece of myself. While the leg was reattached, I was never going to be the person I had been. In the grueling recovery process I struggled deeply with my depression, and I honestly think the ONLY reason I didn’t take my own life was simply because of my twisted sense of humor and being able to make jokes when it felt like all I wanted to do was die.

I just found a way to laugh because it was the only thing that allowed me to move forward and not get stuck in that gaping hole of darkness. And time passed.

Outwardly people commended me for my ‘optimism’ but I struggled to take that as the compliment they intend it to because I didn’t think I was being optimistic. I was laughing because it was the only way I knew how to survive.

Eventually, I turned laughter into my career and started comedy. Today I write, perform, and produce comedy shows (Conversational Lube/It Gets Dark) in what I call my ‘do-over’ dream. My first dream was running; while losing that dream was brutal…it gave me a sort of freeing detachment on anything that happens after that.

I lost everything once and survived, nothing can be worse than that, I have nothing to lose. Hell, I didn’t even expect to still be alive…so anything that good happens is just a bonus! I work hard because I’m an OCD, type A, workaholic who wants to be the best I can be, but I’m not driven by the outcome. I mean, I hope what I do resonates with some people, but so long as I’m having fun, laughing, and connecting with people…that’s all that matters to me.

This perspective allows me to keep rolling through setbacks, smile when shit is hitting the fan, and appreciate the process because we can never control the outcome. Nothing in life is owed to us or guaranteed, but if we can laugh, even in a twisted eff-ed up sort of way, we can keep outracing that dark part of our brain that tells us we can’t go on.

That’s a very long answer to give to a stranger on the spot, so usually if someone tells me I seem like such an optimistic person I’ll just smile, thank them, and invite them to a comedy show.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I’m a comedian, often storytelling based, with a penchant for dark humor. I love performing because it’s as close as I’ve ever found to the same adrenaline rush of a racing gun going off.

Writing, filming, and being around other funny people is truly where I feel most comfortable and in my element. I think laughing is one of the best feelings ever, and making someone else laugh is such gd delight. A therapist would probably dig into that and say something about needing the external validation BUT I don’t give af, making someone laugh rules.

I produce two shows: Conversational Lube and It Gets Dark. Conversational lube is a live comedy dating show that I’m so proud of because the concept/format is unlike any other show, I never know what to expect every time I step onstage (which I LOVE), and even thought it started as a comedy show and social experiment it has grown into such a gd cool community of people who come back to the show and connect over. People are finding dates, I married one couple a year after they met at the show, and I’ve made so many friends through the show!

It Gets Dark is a dark comedy show where myself and fellow comics can unleash all our 51/50, addiction, depressive, etc. material and not risk the audience pulling back. Anyone who comes to this show is…for lack of a better term, a fellow mentally ill, lovable degenerate. 🙂

You can find both the shows on Instagram @conversationallube and @itgetsdarkcomedy

You can find me on Instagram @caitchock

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Failures!! Oh my gosh, anyone who is afraid of failing is both limiting themselves and being a little b*tch. Lol…juuuust kidding on the second part (kind of). The ability to persist and grow through failure is, in my humble opinion, the separating factor between people who achieve things they are proud of and people who go to bed each night not feeling fulfilled.

Laughing. If I haven’t said it a billion times in this interview, I’ll say it again. To go through life without a sense of humor, that sounds like such a sad existence. When things are funny, laugh. When things get tough, laugh. When you literally are on the floor sobbing and don’t think you have the strength to keep going, laugh. Force it if you must.

Pay it f*cking forward. I will die on the hill that I will lead with kindness and helping others if I can. Have I been burned, taken advantage of, used, and screwed over because of this? Certainly. But in those times I like to believe karma will take care of those people. I mean, I learn from the experience going forward, but ultimately, if I can help someone who deserves it, I will always do it. I will never forget the people who have offered me help or kindness and the world is tough enough as it is, let’s have each others’ backs at least.

What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?

I’m going to change this just slightly and make it what my ‘chosen parents’ did for me. My biological dad is a pos who left on my birthday lol.

I admire tf out of my step-dad, Joby Chock, who raised both me and my younger brother after her married my mom. He and my mom had two children of their own, but never ONCE did he ever treat me any differently than his ‘biological’ children. In our house we didn’t use the word ‘step’…he was my dad, those were my brothers and sister. I admire him in more ways than I could say.

My running coach at Nike, Alberto Salazar, and his wife, Molly Salazar, have been equally integral to getting me to where I am today. Namely, alive…lol. I have never felt more loved, understood, or cared about than by the Salazars. I jokingly thank them for, “letting me force you into adopting me.” Alberto is the one who taught me about leading with kindness, forgiveness, and a steel work ethic. I love them an insane amount and wouldn’t be alive if they hadn’t come into my life.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

main photo credit to: Johanna McDonnell

other credits: Eren Senel (group shot and other pic with me at the mic)

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