We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Cara Fay a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Cara, so excited to have you with us today and we are really interested in hearing your thoughts about how folks can develop their empathy? In our experience, most folks want to be empathic towards others, but in a world where we are often only surrounded by people who are very similar to us, it can sometimes be a challenge to develop empathy for others who might not be as similar to us. Any thoughts or advice?
In a well-known and impactful thought experiment, philosopher John Rawls puts forth the idea of a ‘veil of ignorance’ to help us assess how best to design our societal systems. He asks us to imagine ourselves behind this metaphorical curtain, unable to ascertain any personal details about ourselves. Here, we know nothing of our own financial status, class, race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. Without any such personal biases, one quickly realizes the importance of equity and equality. In simpler terms, the Golden Rule rings true: we must treat others as we ourselves would wish to be treated.
I have always had an innate sense of empathy. Even as a child, I would go out of my way to treat others with kindness and respect. I understand how it feels to be marginalized, and I dream of a world without malice or greed. I often encourage others to look inward, to assess the impact of their own actions and worldview on the greater good.
It is perhaps this deep understanding of others which has enabled me to embrace acting so whole-heartedly. When I perform, I try to truly become the character, complete with all their flaws and insecurities. In fact, a character’s moral compass often motivates their actions, as with villains and antagonists. Only when we are unhappy with ourselves, when we have been hurt or traumatized, when we feel resentment, anger, or cynicism: only then do we hurt others. So to understand others, we must first understand ourselves.
For this reason, I am extremely grateful for my years of experience in the arts. As an actor, traveler, and philosopher, I am always seeking to view the world through new and different perspectives. I make it a priority to consider how I would feel in someone else’s given circumstances. I believe that this empathy helps me both as a storyteller and a human being, and I am proud to make choices which I feel have a positive net impact on humanity as a whole.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Well, I started acting at four years old and haven’t stopped since! Born in upstate NY, I was fortunate to have parents that encouraged extracurriculars. I did one musical and was immediately bit by the acting bug, becoming obsessed with storytelling and the experience of living someone else’s life! I did multiple stage shows every year throughout my youth, performing in drama clubs, community theatre, and anything else I could get my hands on. Halfway through undergrad, with a minor in theatre and a major in Politics-Philosophy-Law, I moved to London, England to finish my degree and find my first representation as a professional actress.
After two years pursuing film, television, and commercial work abroad, I moved to sunny Los Angeles to continue on my journey toward success. I am currently represented by the amazing Brogan Agency, and I am quite proud of my growing portfolio. As a SAG-E performer, I have been fortunate to work both union and non-union jobs rather consistently, despite any ups and downs of the industry itself. As we all wait with baited breath for whatever comes next, I feel confident that I will continue to do what I love, regardless of the how, when, or where.
Acting has always been my passion; it feeds my soul. To embody someone else, to feel their feelings and think their thoughts, to experience the world from a different point of view… this, to me, is simply magical. And on top of all that, I’m granted the privilege to influence real humans in the process, to encourage them toward introspection and positive change. These little ripples are my impact on the world. This is how I know my passion is also my purpose, and I am so incredibly grateful to be pursuing it!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I believe that my passion, dedication, and perseverance have been most impactful on my acting journey.
For me, passion equals drive. Acting has always brought me more joy and fulfillment than I can put into words. It is a transcendent experience; to say it gets me high on life is an understatement. So, why wouldn’t I pursue it? Why wouldn’t I chase my dreams? Sure, there are obstacles and challenges aplenty, but the satisfaction I get from each step of the way is enough to motivate me one step further. (Of course, not everyone has a passion, and if that’s you, I’d say just keep an open mind. You’re allowed to love everything, or to try lots of different things until you find something really special!) But, if you’re like me and already know what you love, then work toward that. It will motivate you more than a standard 9-5 ever will.
Next, you have be dedicated to the work. Yes, passion is the foundation, but then you actually have to try for what you want! No one is going to hand you your dreams on a silver plate, so it’s up to you to put in the effort and make it happen. This means keeping your promises and commitments, working hard, staying late, and consistently showing up for yourself. Self-discipline and time management are especially important, but these are learned skills. Practice makes progress… so, practice! Don’t be afraid to fall; just be dedicated enough to pick yourself back up again.
This leads us to perhaps the most effective strategy of all: perseverance. Big changes don’t happen quickly; they say it takes 10 years to make an overnight success! As I mature into adulthood, I understand now more than ever the longevity of life. We have so much time, if we use it wisely. Interestingly, many people make different choices as they get older, choosing to prioritize comfort or stability for themselves and their loved ones. These are valid choices for some, but for those with a passion, for those who cannot be truly happy without chasing their dreams, these choices are self-sabotage. If, like me, you still love what you do, then don’t stop. Persevere, and success will be yours. It’s only a matter of time.
What would you advise – going all in on your strengths or investing on areas where you aren’t as strong to be more well-rounded?
They say everyone should be a server once in their life, just to see what it’s like. Working in a lower-level position instills a sense of appreciation for such staff. It encourages empathy toward their struggles, and respect for their strengths. Similarly, I feel everyone in the entertainment industry should work background, to understand how underlings get treated on set. As gleaned from the popular TV show “Undercover Bosses”, I believe it’s important for the higher-ups of any industry to treat their team members with kindness and respect. Let alone the fact that this energy trickles down from the top, leading to happier- and therefore more productive- workers.
On top of that, I believe that leaders must have some understanding of the tasks they are delegating, and how all of the moving parts come together to make a whole. Otherwise, there will be a disconnect between the asking and the doing! This is partially why I’ve begun pursuing filmmaking as an integral part of my career. I have been thrilled to learn through experience, working more and more in directing, producing, writing, editing, and even costuming and set dec. Under my own FFFay Productions, I have now produced two short films, one of which serves as a proof of concept for a full TV series. As we continue to expand and create, I look forward to growing my knowledge and skillsets outside of acting. While I am proud to have an expertise, I believe that being multifaceted is important for development. With a stronger understanding of and appreciation for each other’s work, we can make art much better and more meaningful than anything we could have created on our own.
Contact Info:
- Website: CaraFayActress.com
- Instagram: @CaraFayActress
- Facebook: Cara Fay – Actress
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMegdA21uNM5yIOYFjMtEcreWgG8oMJme&si=lkLgElME-Wabwcrp
- Other: Actors Access: https://resumes.actorsaccess.com/carafay Casting Networks: https://app.castingnetworks.com/talent/public-profile/5f30b5a8-dd7e-11eb-8f26-1f845e6a5c21 Casting Frontier: https://talent.castingfrontier.com/cara-fay
Image Credits
Headshots by J. Demetrie Photography
