Meet Carmen Simmons

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Carmen Simmons a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Carmen, thank you so much for joining us today. There are so many topics we could discuss, but perhaps one of the most relevant is empathy because it’s at the core of great leadership and so we’d love to hear about how you developed your empathy?

I grew up in what most people would say from the outside looking in was a very normal two parent home. We lived in a Brownstone on a tree lined block in Brooklyn, New York. We celebrated birthdays with parties and went on vacation sometimes twice a year. Things changed when I was around 12yrs old. My Mother came to me on her way out for work and she said “if your Father comes to the door do not let him in”. I was confused. Why would she say that about Daddy; but she was serious and I had no choice but to adhere. During the next 1 1/2 years I watched my mother’s health deteriorate and the summer I turned 14, less than 2 months after our June birthdays, she died from AIDS. My Father died 1 1/2 years later when I was 15 shortly after the new year began in 1995.

My heart was shattered. Why did this happen to us. My siblings and I didn’t have parents anymore. We were the only kids I knew that didn’t have a Mommy and Daddy to go home to. That was until my school counselor asked me if she could share my experience with another student that lost her Father and wasn’t coping well in school. After that peer counseling experience I became a peer mediator and accepted a job for the New York City Youthline as a Peer Listener. We were trained to receive non emergency phone calls from teenagers and sometimes parents having trouble or looking for resources for troubled teens. That experience opened me up to having empathy for others and I realized I was not the only teenager that was dealing with grief.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

My main title is Creator and Executive Producer of N’Style Atlanta Uncut on Fox Soul and Prime Video and nstyleatlanta.com; but recently I’ve added Author to my repertoire.

I released a daily journal “Finding My Way”, a deeply personal collection of quotes and affirmations that have resonated with me during my journey of loss and healing. After losing my parents to AIDS and addiction, I faced the daunting challenge of navigating grief and finding my place in the world and collecting quotes and journaling helped me channel my emotions and create direction. My second book is “Gloria”; a powerful coming-of-age novel set in 1990s Brooklyn, following a teenage girl’s journey through love, loss, and resilience after losing her parents to addiction and AIDS. As Gloria navigates the struggles of adolescence—family conflict, identity, and survival—she finds solace in music, friendships, and the vibrant yet unforgiving streets of Crown Heights. Inspired by my real-life experiences, Gloria is a deeply moving story of perseverance, self-discovery, and the strength it takes to rise from tragedy.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Throughout my journey it has been overwhelming clear that most people are not listening when they are having a confrontation or a heated conversation. They are simply waiting for their turn to talk. However, nothings resolved if no one heard each other. All you’re producing is noise.

Empathy is also important. Everyone has an opinion and it’s easy to pass judgement but if you allow yourself to listen and consider the other persons perspectives, even if you don’t agree, you’ll find a faster way to a resolution.

Forgiveness. Life after my parents died was tumultuous. I felt like the adults that were closest to us were supposed to protect us, show empathy, and guide us through our grief. I didn’t feel like we received that and it took me years to get over it. That came through forgiveness. When I started having conversations with my grandmother about how she was raised my empathy kicked in and I realized she could only offer what she once received.

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?

The most impactful thing my parents did for me was share positive affirmations with me that essentially built my self-esteem. As a child, like a lot of children my weight fluctuated and I went through what I felt was my “unpretty” stage. My Father always told me I was pretty like my Mommy. He would give her compliments and tell me I looked just like her. In elementary school I was definitely overweight but I can’t think of one time someone called me fat. It doesn’t mean it never happened but their affirmations overshadow any negativity I might’ve received. My parents supported every extra curricular activity and bragged when I did them. So today as an adult, even when I know I’m not at my best it’s hard for me to receive negativity because I know what I look like and feel like when I’m in my prime. I owe that confidence to my parents.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://nstyleatlanta.com/carmen-simmons/
• Instagram: @itscarmensimmons
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/misssimmons
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@nstyleatlanta
• Other: https://nstyleatlanta.com/product/finding-my-way/