Meet Caroline Gombe

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Caroline Gombe. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Caroline, thank you so much for joining us today. Let’s jump right into something we’re really interested in hearing about from you – being the only one in the room. So many of us find ourselves as the only woman in the room, the only immigrant or the only artist in the room, etc. Can you talk to us about how you have learned to be effective and successful in situations where you are the only one in the room like you?

I was born and raised in an almost all white Eastern European country, Romania. Living there i was not only the only Black person in the room, most times i was also the first Black person people would see. The first thing i remember doing, since i was a very young child, is justifying my existence. I had to have a story ready for the question “how come you are Black”. Basically i had to explain to children and sometimes adults how come Black people exist and why we have a different skin color. The fact that God made all of us different was not always enough. Being Black was perceived as a flaw and as a child i did not understand if i was born defective or if i had a condition that might change in the future. Even if my mom did her best, her explanations did not help in my interactions with the outside world. I learned very fast most people would rather insult me than accepting their ignorance and limitations. I had to learn how to live with being called a monkey, the Romanian version of the n word and many other disgusting things every time i would get out of the house. I had to learn how to protect myself from the violent encounters that sometimes followed the insults. Because, i learned, when people are not satisfied with the level of verbal abuse they inflicted, they immediately became physical. So i became strong. I was not older than 5 years old when that happened. I learned how to fight smartly, how to use the fact they thought i am a weird creature to my advantage. So i became feared.
Then i made a decision that changed my life: i decided if there is nothing i can do about the fact i was Black, then it’s not my problem, it’s theirs. And if they had a problem with me because of how i looked, they gonna have bigger problems if they confronted me.
Luckily i also have talent. So as i grew up i found my peace and a form of balance in the arts, dancing, singing and then acting. Because of American music and music videos, a Black person who sang and danced was easier to accept. But when i decided to become the first Black actress in the country things changed. Suddenly i had to again explain my existence, I had to find characters that would make sense being Black in an all white repertory. So i did that. It was also a time when Romania was doing the work to become more international, there were a lot of American and western European productions shot there and that helped me get cast often. During my acting school i understood very quickly the type of roles i could play and make sense to that audience. So i played all sex workers in theatre history.
As i grew up i started to become good looking, i was in a beauty contest at 15 and so i started working as a model and a dancer and sometimes even in movies very early in life. Which made me learn very early an important part of showbiz: new and different sells, unique and talented opens doors, exotic and pretty is something the world i was living in was interested in. For a while i got focused on working, making connections, building a resume. I realized i can work in more fields than one, so i modeled, i danced, i sang as a soloist and in a couple of groups, i did voiceover work. When i started acting school i already had a strong resume and i was experienced in working on stage and on camera in film and TV. During acting school because of my previous work i had the chance to be in some American or international films (“Vacuums” produced by Quincy Jones, “Modigliani”, “Callas Forever” etc) and started to work in commercials. When i graduated i was immediately employed by the National Theatre of Romania because i booked the first production of “Chicago” in the country. I also booked another play in a theatre in Bucharest and for the next 4 years before i moved to the US i worked constantly in theatre. film and TV.
So what i basically did was taking advantage of the novelty i was and explore all options available to me. It was both effective and successful because by the time i auditioned in New York for grad school programs in the US i had a strong resume with solid credits.
But, even if i had worked a lot, i had to accept i was not evolving as an artist, that having to fight for your professional existence, playing white written characters in a white world that wouldn’t spend a second to learn anything about who i was, not having access to any Black culture at all, not having anyone to even discuss about that was not gonna do for me in the long run. So i got a scholarship and moved to US.
In the US from the beginning i noticed i was still the only one in the room, but this time i was the only Black woman. It seemed odd, knowing only the glamorized American history i had learned in school i thought being Black was a normal thing in here. At the beginning i didn’t think much of it even though the way people acted around and with me seemed strange. But i was new to this world, i thought i don’t understand the culture, After i graduated and started working in theatre, film and tv in NYC and LA, i found it more and more odd the many instances i would still be the only Black woman in the room. Pretty much almost every time i was not in a Black project. I think my initial success came from the fact i did not shy away from auditioning bravely and confidently for white written roles. After all i was used to that. And after i would get cast i think for a long time, not knowing what is actually going on, i behaved like everyone else and demanded the same amount of respect and consideration as everyone else. Looking back i think i was an oddity to the people i worked with and to an extent they were maybe amused, maybe impressed or entertained, definitely annoyed often by the way i would ignore their covered racism, but sometimes bluntly address it. I think initially i applied the same strategy as i did in Romania, focus on work and build a career one step at a time.
In almost any non Black project i was in though, sooner or later i would have a “difficult” conversation. I would notice some ways of talking, some way of addressing an issue connected to being Black, some way of acting towards me or other Black cast members or crew and i would immediately address it. The reactions were always strange, defensive and it created a sense of discomfort i originally didn’t understand. Because i still thought there were just some mishaps or some ignorant people and not a sample of the racism in the industry. I remember a moment when i had to explain my Blackness to an all white cast and the director. From their reactions i understood they really would have liked if i was not Black or if at least i would consider leaving it “ambiguous”. To me it felt crazy and i didn’t understand how could they have an opinion about someone else’s race. And why would they have the audacity to do it. In a professional setting.
It was the moment i decided to look back at all the separate instances in the past, to accept there is more to it than i previously thought, that it was not only a personal issue, it was a general way of behaving unfortunately tolerated in the work place too. So what i did was to choose my work wiser and more informed, i started researching in depth before i agreed to any project. I also started building my own projects making sure i created safe, inclusive spaces. And i decided to learn, i started reading and watching everything i had access to about Black life and Black history in the US and Africa.
One instance i would like to mention is my teaching work. About 10 years ago i also started working as an acting teacher too. And that was the place where being the only one in the room gave me the opportunity to do something about it. From the 2nd year of teaching i brought, asked for and worked on Black materials, i constantly requested the roaster of students becomes more diverse, i insisted the school was putting focus on including LGBTQIA+ and addressing every instance that was not yet up to date and i constantly inquired why was i the only Black person and then Black woman teaching there which made them eventually bring more Black people and people of color to the team. And it worked until 2023 when everything changed back to what it used to be, so i stopped working there.

What have i learned? To address the bigger issue, not the personal one. To fight to not be the only one in the room. To make sure to create safe spaces and only work in inclusive projects where everyone has a voice, everyone is heard and respected. Success is something we build together and we all benefit from it together, equitably.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I am currently in an interesting moment of my life. Earlier this year i was offered an American movie shooting in Romania in which i would work as an actress, but also as an acting coach on set and coproducer. The shoot was postponed and i am waiting for it to start sooner than later. It’s a very exciting and special project, the script is intriguing and different, unique i would say. In a way it combines both of my worlds, the American one and the Romanian one, building a very deep story where the past, the present and possibly the future create a very imaginative visual journey.
Also earlier this year i applied to a grant for a project with my group Black Women’s March at a New York City organization working directly with the city government. We got the grant, but for the past 4-5 months we’ve been waiting to get the funds to start the project. The project aims to discuss racial equity in the city of New York by addressing specific issues through conversations directly with the people impacted by them.
So as i said, it’s an interesting time in my life, the time of delays and patience. Which is something i did not experience before. I guess it has to be connected to the current state of the world, with the way things change every day and how it became very hard to be sure what tomorrow looks like.
While waiting i focused on my work as an acting coach, doing some online coaching and working on building some in person acting workshops. And i am working on starting a production company.

To be perfectly honest i also decided to take a break from chasing career goals for a moment and put some time in myself. I worked constantly for a very long time and i felt like this would be a perfect time to do the things i haven’t done in the past 20+ years: spend time with my family and close friends, relax and enjoy the small things in life, travel, go to places i haven’t visited before, spend time in nature, read, swim or just do nothing at all for a change. I really wanted to see who i am outside of the work i’ve been doing, to see how does life look like without the pressure of always doing something. It was also a very good opportunity to detach and look at the world from that perspective, to be a spectator for the first time in my life.

Unfortunately life pulled me back in and i had to address some issues Black women have been dealing with this year. Issues that are not new, but they recurred viciously this year. Black Women’s March ran a 100 days awareness campaign for the awful case of Saniyah Cheatham, an 18 yo Black girl who died in police custody at 41st precinct in NYC. And even after all this time, there are still no answers from the precinct or the responsible authorities on what actually happened there. We also saw an increase in the number of Black women who are in challenging life situations. Over 300k Black women lost their jobs in the US this year and there are also many, far too many other Black women who lost their houses and livelihoods, some of them with very young children having to live on the streets struggling to find money to eat and feed their children. Please check @blackwomxnsmarch IG stories where we post fundraisers and other calls for support. There is also a deed theft situation going on in NYC, there are a couple of NYC organizations working on that issue and we are doing our best to support them by raising awareness. Last but not least, there is an increased number of cases of police violence against Black women, Black trans women and Black people in general and we are doing our best to bring the issue to the front.

I guess the moral of my recent life story is whenever life offers you the chance of a break, take it and remember to “smell the flowers”. But don’t forget to look at your community and see if maybe someone needs your help and support. There is always something you can do, even if it seems like a small thing, you don’t know how important, vital it may be to the people in need.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Based on what many people said about me and if i am honestly looking back at my life, i am resourceful. I have this habit of always finding another way. As a Black woman you get used to a lot of rejection, for one reason or another. And i guess i have a very limited tolerance to rejection, so i got used to find other ways to get to where or what i want. I think it also comes as a reaction to the world i grew up in, Romania used to be a place where you’d hear “i can’t, it can’t be done, it’s impossible” a lot. It used to drive me crazy, i think it’s one of the reasons i always wanted to leave the country. New York is the place of “i can”, so it felt perfect for me. It’s also the place where there are so many ways to do one thing, so finding new ways, creating other possibilities became something normal to me.
I am relentless too. My struggle is to learn to give up because i organically never give up. I may seem i did, i may even believe i did, but the moment an opportunity arises to do the thing i thought it would never happen, i take it without a doubt. There are things i’ve been wanting to do for a long time, some from when i was a child. They are secretly living in a drawer of my mind waiting for the right moment or for the opportunity to come out and shine. But i don’t push them, i learned to be patient, to allow timing to do its thing. I learned there is a perfect time for everything. And perfect may mean anything: the time you are ready to do it, the time the world is ready to accept that thing, the time when the right people for the project magically happen to enter your life. And based on experience i know the best time to do something is when things align in the right direction. That doesn’t mean you have to sit and wait. Incredibly enough if you do that, the timing may never come. Because things start moving when you’re moving. So i get into other stuff while staying alert and open to anything coming my way.
Finally i am very, very passionate. I always bring a lot of positive, engaging energy to the table, energy that inspires people to get involved and to strongly believe in the things we work on. I love what i’m doing, i think it was my life decision to do the things i love. But i also learned to find something to love in everything i get involved in. It’s very important to me to enjoy work, to always find something new and exciting in my career, to explore new areas, new approaches, new fields, to be curious and ready to start fresh in a new direction, open to change, open to adapt and to allow challenges to excite me instead of stopping me.
My only advice for anyone starting anything is to have faith and strongly believe in anything they decide to do. To know there is always a way even if at the moment it doesn’t look like it. Life has a funny way of making things happen when you least expect it. Just keep on putting one step in front of the other, make sure you learn at least one thing from any situation you’re in, talk to everyone about what you wanna do – you never know who may think or feel exactly like you, take any rejection as a challenge and trust the universe or God is preparing your path while you’re moving.

We’ve all got limited resources, time, energy, focus etc – so if you had to choose between going all in on your strengths or working on areas where you aren’t as strong, what would you choose?

I think it depends on how you function best. It’s important to notice what works for you based on the way you’ve done things before, on what worked better or easier, on what made you grow faster or achieve your goals. If you look back even to your school years, you will discover a pattern. I am sure you had the chance to do things both ways. And for sure one thing worked better than the other. But it depends what you decided: to listen to your intuition and do what feels right for you or to listen to people telling you how things are supposed to be done. Because even if people have the best intentions most of the times and in most fields there is a “set” way of doing things, you are the only one who knows what works for you. If you didn’t try or don’t remember trying both ways, i recommend you do. You may discover you feel more comfortable or you are more successful doing the thing you never tried or exactly the opposite, you’ll discover that way doesn’t work for you at all. In any case you will know something valuable about yourself and then you’ll focus only on what works.
For me it’s all in, sink or swim. Because that’s when all my wheels start running, all my creativity is awaken and i allow my intuition to do the work for me. I also learn as i work, so i improve the areas that aren’t strong enough yet out of need while i’m doing the work and it gives me the opportunity to do things i don’t know in a new way i sometimes create on the spot. But i did try the other way too, i tried to put the effort to improve areas by studying, doing research and i noticed it makes me procrastinate. It makes me delay starting the actual thing because there is always more to learn, more to improve and i get stuck in that. I sometimes even start doubting myself and i really don’t like that.
It’s true i have a lot of confidence that was built in years of being thrown in different situations i had to make something out of nothing. Or things i threw myself into because i just didn’t want to miss an opportunity because i didn’t know every single aspect of it. It’s also true there was a time when i made peace with failing and decided it doesn’t exist, it’s just a new way of learning.
A recent relevant story is founding Black Women’s March. It happened because i asked a question and the answer was
‘why don’t you do it”. I was very new to organizing and even newer to activism, but i said ok and basically learned while doing things. It’s true i had a big set of skills coming from previous work i had done in my professional life and i used all of them. But i had to improve a lot of areas i never paid much attention to, like social media or mutual aid and others. And i am constantly working to improve everything that is not as strong as i want it to be, but to me it’s much easier to learn like that. While i get things going. Plus i feel like you get more in touch with what needs to be improved and how if you are already working. And you also discover if what you think needs improvement is actually true, because sometimes it’s just in your head. Or you may discover you don’t need that improvement, you may actually need to do things a different way, your way, that unique way that sets you apart.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://carolinegombe.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackwomxnsmarch/?hl=en
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/blackwomensmarch/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/caroline-gomb%C3%A9-a8415018/
• Other: TikTok @carolinemgombe

Image Credits

Main photo: Laura Brett
Other Photos: Matteo Marchisano-Adamo ; Stefan Cosma, Ioana Burtescu, Cornel Lazia, Kyle Kesses, Caroline Mardok