We recently connected with Cassandra Marsh and have shared our conversation below.
Cassandra, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
I always struggled in school growing up. But I went from an inner-city school to a more suburban school. The curriculum was much more advanced, and I felt like an outcast. I went from a predominantly black school to then an almost all white school. And being biracial didn’t make it any easier. I felt every single teacher I had gave me such a hard time. I wasn’t trying to cause trouble, but it always seemed like I was in trouble. The teachers would say really mean things to me. My favorite was when one teacher told my parents when I was in elementary school, maybe 2nd or 3rd grade that I would end up a juvenile delinquent. I didn’t get tested for a learning disability until I was in 7th grade but wasn’t officially diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia until I was a freshman when my GPA was a .75 and the school reached out to my parents saying I needed to do something otherwise I was going to need to repeat freshman year. After being put on medication, my GPA went from a .75 to a 3.2 I believe by the time I graduated. But I almost dropped out several times. I did everything. I went tutoring, stayed after school, and got help from the teacher, I studied for hours but I wasn’t getting the grades I needed. And I have been dancing since I was 4. I was training at a professional level for maybe 40-50 hours a week. Ballet, tap, jazz, hip hop contemporary, and eventually ballroom. I spent my weeks after school using dance as my escape and on the weekends, I went to dance conventions, modeling or acting training. I knew I hated school and no matter what I did, I wasn’t getting good grades, so I kept telling my parents about dropping out. Finally, my parents and I sat down, and they said I just needed to finish. They didn’t care what my grades were, but they wanted me to graduate, and they would support my dance career. So that’s what I did and after I graduated high school, focused on my professional ballroom career. I turned professional at 18 and was a ballroom competitor and a licensed instructor.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
A few years after I turned professional, I had a life-threatening surgery which required me to have bypass surgery due to snapping an artery behind my knee and a blood clot. It almost took my leg or possibly my life. I overcame that, I persevered, and I moved to Columbus, Ohio. Many don’t know, Ohio hosts one of the biggest ballroom competitions in the country. My boss/coach was a world ballroom and Latin champion and a judge on the competition circuit so if I wanted to be the best, I thought I should train under the best. I had no friends or family there. And the dance world is not for the weak. I was constantly being told I wasn’t good enough. I constantly had to change myself to be what the judges wanted to win. And again, being biracial, 5’7 without heels, with curves, I stuck out on the floor. Compared to the 5’1 petite blonde, white girl. I ended up changing who I was and ended up with an eating disorder. But I was so determined to win because I loved it. I didn’t know who I was without it. Unfortunately, at my last competition I competed at and got 2nd place, I ended up tearing the labrum in my hip and had another blood clot. I also had a lot of other strenuous things happen all at the same time as totaling my car and moving into my first apartment that just so happened to be infested with bedbugs within my first month of moving in so everything I bought had to be thrown away. I cried on the phone with my mom ready to end it all. I dedicated my whole life to dancing and it was like it was all being taken away from me. I was so depressed with how many bad things we’re happening to me. I moved back home and will be having the surgery in 2020. I was so sure after the surgery I’d move back and go right back to training. However, my doctor said after this being my second major surgery, I could go back to dance, but he didn’t advise it. So, I decided to retire. After I was cleared to walk, I was a manager at a retail store in the mall, I was a certified personal trainer, and I was bartending and serving. After a while of doing all those jobs, I didn’t feel like I had found my purpose. I was so lost without dancing. Until my physical therapist suggested I go back to school to become a physical therapist. I had been in and out of physical therapy since I was 12. I thought there was no way I could go back to school at 26, especially with how many issues I had with school. She encouraged me to just take it one class at a time. All the trauma I had from school growing up terrified me, but the more I learned about physical therapy, the more I knew this is what I was put here to do. I went through all those things to be able to say to others “I have been where you are. I’m here to support you through this difficult time.” I was also told by so many teachers I wasn’t made for college and would never last a semester there. They said I wasn’t smart enough to go to college. Now I am a senior at 29 with a 3.7 GPA, I am a supplemental instructor on campus, and a tutor at Purdue. I’ll be applying to physical therapy this summer. I also am starting my own business to be nontraditional learners, nontraditional students that didn’t go to college right out of high school, and that are 1st generation students in their family. I want to support nontraditional students navigate the struggles of academia so they can get through an undergraduate degree and pursue higher education while enjoying and romanticizing their college journey.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
One quality would be perseverance/resilience during the hardest and darkest times. I am not sure where it comes from because my whole life was built on what felt like rejection, failure, and difficulties. But I always embraced it and said I would never give up. My strength never came from my wins. It came from all the struggles, setbacks, and hardship. One piece of advice I have is don’t ANYONES limiting belief be your truth and trusting the process. Believe that everything’s happening exactly the way it’s supposed to. Sometimes the path chosen for isn’t fair and it’s hard to understand why, but it just means another door is opening for you. Whatever the situation might be, it’s molding you to become the person you were meant to be. Your hardest times shape into the most beautiful moments and victories of your life. I would say find a great mentor. I never really had anyone growing up, I always chased after what I wanted and wasn’t afraid of rejection. But as I approach my 30’s. I’m finding mentors that know all of the hardship I went through. They help guide me through life and to avoid my imposter syndrome and self-sabotaging.
What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?
Like I stated previously, imposter syndrome, comparison, and self-sabotaging is my biggest challenge right now. I turn 30 in July, and I moved back in with my parents at 25, I work 4 jobs, I go to school full time, and I’m single. I think this is the first time I truly feel like I’m getting close to success. When I was dancing, even when I was placing high, I could never expect it. It was all up to the judges and the political system of the dance world. But, as dedicated I was, I never felt good enough. Same thing academically. All throughout my childhood, even with tutors, extra help, hours spent studying, I can count on one hand how many A’s I got. And now, academically I am excelling, and it shocks me. I am now a student instructor and tutor helping kids understand difficult biology-based topics. And many of them tell me how helpful I am and wouldn’t have got an A or B without me. Many teachers within my department talk about how much they appreciate me and enjoy having me in their program. Even with all the positive feedback, I don’t believe it. I don’t feel like it’s me. I can’t believe I earned the grades I have and about to graduate. It’s the first time hearing such highly things spoken of me, from teachers and students. It’s the first time I am doing extremely well academically. And occasionally I find myself self-sabotaging by intentionally overworking myself, binge watching shows, not studying for exams when I feel the lack of true confidence in myself. I am committed to my goals, but occasionally, I compare being almost 30 to most of my friends that are married, have kids, houses, going on vacations. I don’t regret any of my life choices, but sometimes it’s hard to not wish I did life a little differently. However, I know my life had to happen the way it did, to get me exactly to where I am now. The few great mentors I have, the right kind of friends, and especially my parents have all kept me grounded when it comes to the path I am currently walking. I lean into them when the negative limiting beliefs come knocking at my door.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beyondtheb.s/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/icassandramarsh/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cassandraedenmarsh/
Image Credits
picture of me in the white with the lap top: Brian Esquivel picture of me in black with my finger on my face and my headshot in the purple: Tom Wehrung
