Meet Cathy Carroll

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Cathy Carroll. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Cathy below.

Hi Cathy, really appreciate you joining us to talk about a really relevant, albeit unfortunate topic – layoffs and getting fired. Can you talk to us about your experience and how you overcame being let go?

Spoiler alert…this is also how I found my purpose.

I grew up in a family business — my grandfather was an entrepreneur. But there was a lot of tension in my father’s generation, so I pursued a corporate career until 20 years later, my father hired me to run his businesses. Working for my father was especially challenging because we see the world very differently. Despite a three-year stint leading a turn-around, establishing a successful strategy and lowering attrition, my father began to undermine my leadership, so we parted ways by mutual agreement.

When I ran my father’s business, I was in my mid-40s, and I intended to retire from that role, so I was crushed when I left. I had no Plan B, and I had built my identity around being the hero to my family — the hero who saved the business. All that came crashing down and I was lost.

The first year after I left, with newfound confidence that “I can lead!” I looked for a business to buy, but this was 2011-2012, and few businesses were on the market due to the financial crisis. Nevertheless, I put offers on three businesses, and after the third one fell through, I hit rock bottom. I had no income, no prospects, and I was living off my savings.

So I asked myself, “what do I want to be when I grow up?” and the answer was, “I’d like to be an executive coach in my 60s.” I didn’t really understand what coaching was, so after researching it, I applied to the leadership coaching program at Georgetown University. Fortunately, I was accepted and as I completed the program in 2013, I realized a) coaching is nothing like I thought it was, b) I really needed a coach when I worked for my father, c) had my father and grandfather had coaches, our family could have gone a very different path, and d) as I looked back at my entire life, I realized: “This is my purpose: To bring leadership coaching services to family business leaders.”

I still had some challenges to overcome once I’d identified my purpose… I had to be willing to place a bet on ME. I knew that building a coaching practice that supported me financially would take a few years, and I didn’t have a forever runway of savings, so that took some risk. But I thought to myself…if I’m going to bet on anyone, I’m betting on me.

I also had to address the identity shift from business leader with a top-notch MBA making the big bucks, to a leadership coach working on her own making the medium bucks. That was pretty hard because I kept thinking “what will other people think about me?” I felt some shame pursuing a coaching path at first.

The final thought that allowed me to dive into coaching fully, was this: being a coach meant I could give myself permission for self-care. That may sound odd, but I wasn’t good at self-care, despite believing in its benefits. When I realized that self-care would be important, even essential, for me to be an effective coach, I stopped second guessing and have never looked back. Best professional decision I’ve ever made.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I coach family business leaders, and I train coaches who want to serve family business leaders.

Leadership in a family business is not for the weak of heart. It’s an especially complex dynamic given the coexisting yet opposing beliefs of business norms and family norms. With family businesses comprising 60% of the US GDP, it’s a huge segment that needs leadership coaching, and I feel privileged to support these leaders. The ripple effect is significant, because you not only help the leaders and their employees, you help the family for generations to come.

To support this mission, I recently published a book describing the unique complexities of family business leadership along with tips on how to navigate these complexities. It’s called “Hug of War: How to Lead a Family Business With both Love and Logic.” I have also launched a training program for coaches who want to deepen their practice with family business leaders.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Humility, curiosity and flexibility.

My advice for folks who are early in their journey is to take their top three qualities, skills or areas of knowledge, and identify when they are strengths-overused. Then develop the complementary skills.

For example, my humility sometimes made me look like a doormat, and I needed to learn how to be bold. Curiosity could become a rabbit-hole, so I needed to learn how to call it done and stake a claim. My flexibility resulted in being too accommodating, and I needed to learn how to draw boundaries.

What would you advise – going all in on your strengths or investing on areas where you aren’t as strong to be more well-rounded?

I believe this question is a false binary. You can do both. Yes, BOTH go all in on your strengths, AND recognize when you need the opposite energy so that you climb out of the overuses of your strengths. My book, “Hug of War,” is all about polarities – interdependent opposites – and how to navigate them.

When you reframe the question from an either/or question to a both/and, you ask yourself “how do I get the benefits of going all in on my strengths AND how do I get the benefits of being more well-rounded?” That question changes the way a brain addresses this challenge because both approaches are right. It’s right to go all in AND it’s right to round out your skills.

The strategy to integrate these opposites can vary. For some strengths, you might pair up with someone else who complements you. For others, you learn just enough of the opposite strength to keep you out of hot water. And for other strengths, you go all in on making both sides of the polarity strengths.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.legacyonward.com
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cathyacarroll
• Twitter: @LegacyOnward

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