We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Charlene “Char” Holmes. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Charlene “Char” below.
Charlene “Char”, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
My resilience was born the moment I realized no one was matching the energy I was pouring out. It didn’t come from being hardened; it came from being awakened.
Through the pain, the letdowns, the silence when I needed support most, I stopped waiting for someone to rescue me, affirm me, or walk with me through the fire. And instead, I learned to trust that I was the one I could count on. Not because I had to do it all alone forever, but because I finally understood my strength wasn’t rooted in who stood beside me, it was rooted in me.
Resilience, for me, is a choice I make daily. It’s knowing that even when life doesn’t look how I thought it would, I still have the power to show up, rise up, and rebuild. That realization changed everything. And if you’ve ever felt like you were the only one cheering for yourself, I want you to know: that’s not weakness. That’s your power waking up.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
What started as my personal journey through bariatric surgery has evolved into a full-blown mission to help others reclaim their power, rewrite their story, and rise with purpose. I’m Char Holmes a Certified Trauma-Informed Life Coach, CREA Award-winning writer for Brainz magazine, and host of the Just Be You Award-winning podcast Talk Bari To Me.
Through my coaching, writing, and speaking, I help people, especially those in the bariatric and self-development spaces, navigate the emotional and mental layers that often go unspoken. I believe that true transformation isn’t just about physical change; it’s about emotional healing, mindset shifts, and finding the courage to live in full alignment with who you are.
One of the most exciting expansions of my work has been launching the Talk Bari To Me Coaching Corner—a team of trauma-informed life coaches dedicated to supporting the bariatric community in building confidence, emotional resilience, and sustainable self-worth. We’re not just addressing behavior, we’re healing the beliefs that drive it.
In addition to my podcast and coaching team, I also host weekly live streams:
Talk Bari To Me LIVE (Sundays) – where we have unfiltered, inspiring conversations with experts and real people from the community.
Coaching Corner LIVE (Mondays) – where my coaching team and I unpack mindset, identity, and personal growth in a safe, empowering space.
My brand is all about creating spaces where people feel seen, heard, and supported in their transformation, whether they’re in a season of breakthrough or just trying to make it through. And while I wear many hats, they all serve one purpose: helping people rise from the inside out.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Emotional Self-Awareness:
Understanding my own emotional patterns, triggers, and responses changed everything. It helped me stop reacting from survival mode and start responding from a place of alignment and clarity.
Advice: Don’t run from your emotions—get curious about them. Journaling, therapy, or even voice memos to yourself can help you build emotional fluency. That self-knowledge becomes a superpower.
Resilience:
Life will test you. Dreams will stretch you. And the version of you who starts the journey won’t be the one who finishes it. My resilience didn’t come from never falling—it came from learning how to rise, again and again, without bitterness.
Advice: Build rituals that help you come home to yourself—especially on the hard days. Keep promises to yourself, no matter how small. That’s how self-trust is built.
Compassionate Leadership:
As a trauma-informed coach, I’ve learned that people don’t grow from pressure—they grow in safety. The ability to lead with empathy while still holding high standards has made me not only a better coach, but a better human.
Advice: Practice listening to understand, not to fix. That skill will transform your relationships, your leadership, and your capacity to help others heal.
No matter where you’re starting, know this: you don’t have to have it all figured out. Just stay willing to grow, to get honest with yourself, and to keep showing up for the person you’re becoming.
Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?
The most impactful thing my parents did whether intentionally or not was instill in me the value of education and resourcefulness. Even in moments when I didn’t fully agree with how I was being raised, I learned to make the most out of every situation. That mindset shaped who I am today.
My mother raised me as a single parent, and my father was incarcerated for most of my adolescent and young adult years. Those circumstances could have defined me but instead, they taught me how to adapt, how to problem-solve, and how to keep moving forward, even when life felt unfair.
I realized early on that I couldn’t control the chaos around me, but I could control how I responded to it. I had the power to rewrite the story. That understanding that I had autonomy over the direction of my life became the foundation for everything I do now, both personally and professionally.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.vsgbestie.com
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