Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Charlene Holmes. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Charlene, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown
Confidence, for me, wasn’t something I was born with. It’s something I had to cultivate through hard work, deep self-reflection, and an unwavering commitment to heal. For years, I allowed fear and unresolved childhood trauma to keep me small, to make me feel unworthy of the success, happiness, and love I truly desired. But as Les Brown so powerfully reminds us, fear can hold us back from living fully, and I refused to let that be my story.
Healing childhood trauma was the first major step in reclaiming my confidence. Trauma has a way of embedding limiting beliefs deep within us, convincing us that we are less than, that we don’t deserve greatness. When I chose to confront those feelings and unravel the pain, I stopped being defined by what had happened to me and began to define myself by my resilience. Instead of running from my flaws, I embraced them. And that, right there, is the core of real confidence owning every part of who you are.
But healing alone wasn’t enough. It was the mindset development work that truly elevated me. Working on my mindset gave me a renewed perspective on not only who I am but also who I can become. Shifting from a place of fear and doubt to one of possibility and abundance changed everything. I realized that confidence isn’t just about accepting where you are but also about believing in the limitless potential of where you’re headed.
Together, healing and mindset work allowed me to own my flaws without letting them define me. They became part of my power, part of my story, and the foundation of my confidence. When I stopped focusing on perfection and started embracing the whole of who I am, I became unstoppable.
So, how did I develop my confidence and self-esteem? I healed the past, shifted my mindset, and claimed my narrative. I chose to live my dreams instead of my fears. And in doing so, I discovered a confidence that flows from within—a confidence rooted in my resilience, my flaws, and my belief in all that I am and all I can become.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
Thank you for giving me the space to share my journey! I’m a mindset coach and content creator with a passion for guiding people through the transformative process of bariatric surgery, both physically and mentally. I believe true change begins with the mind, and my work focuses on helping others embrace that mindset shift to achieve lasting results.
I host a weekly podcast called “Talk Bari To Me,” where I discuss everything from the emotional and mental challenges of weight loss to embracing the new identity that comes with transformation. In addition to that, I lead weekly mindset coaching sessions, helping individuals focus on self-acceptance, body positivity, and building confidence through personal growth.
What makes this work so special to me is that it’s deeply personal. Having gone through bariatric surgery myself, I know that the physical changes are just one part of the journey. The real transformation happens when you shift your mindset and embrace all that you are and can become. That’s the essence of what I try to bring to my coaching and content.
I’m also a proud mother of three beautiful children: a 16-year-old daughter, my 2-year-old girl who is on the Autism spectrum, and my 8-month-old son. Balancing motherhood and my career has given me a unique perspective on life’s challenges, which I share with my community as we all work toward growth and balance.
This November, I’m thrilled to be a guest host at the Bariatric Society Retreat, an incredible event that fosters community among individuals who’ve experienced the transformative journey of weight loss. It’s an opportunity for us all to connect, share our stories, and support one another in our continued growth.
I’ll also be attending the JBY Awards as both a presenter and nominee for Best Podcast, which is such an exciting honor! The awards celebrate voices in the community who are making a difference, and I’m grateful for the chance to share my message on such a big platform.
My mission is to help others recognize that transformation is not just about what you lose, but about what you gain—self-love, confidence, and a new sense of purpose. Whether through my podcast, coaching sessions, or speaking engagements, my goal is to empower others to reclaim their narrative and thrive.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Looking back, the three qualities that have been most impactful in my journey are resilience, self-awareness, and the ability to cultivate a growth mindset.
Resilience: Life has thrown plenty of challenges my way, from healing childhood trauma to navigating the complexities of motherhood and personal transformation. Resilience has allowed me to not only endure but thrive. When things got tough, I learned to push through the discomfort and embrace the lessons in the struggle. For anyone early in their journey, I’d advise you to build your resilience by getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Challenges will arise, but those who succeed are the ones who face adversity with determination, knowing that the growth lies on the other side.
Self-awareness: Understanding who I am flaws and all was pivotal in my journey, especially as I embraced my role as a mindset coach and content creator in the bariatric community. Being self-aware allowed me to own my strengths and recognize the areas that needed work. For anyone starting out, take time to reflect on who you are and what drives you. Self-awareness comes from introspection, so engage in practices like journaling, meditation, or even seeking feedback from trusted people in your life. When you know yourself, you become more empowered to make decisions aligned with your goals.
Growth Mindset: This has been a game-changer for me, especially as I continue to evolve in my personal and professional life. A growth mindset taught me to see failures as opportunities to learn and improve. It allowed me to be open to change and embrace the journey, knowing that each step forward no matter how small is progress. My advice for developing this is to start viewing your journey as a continual process of growth. Instead of focusing on the destination, appreciate the lessons along the way. Surround yourself with people who uplift and challenge you, and remember that setbacks are part of the process.
For anyone just starting their own transformation, focus on these three pillars. Build your resilience by embracing challenges, develop your self-awareness by deeply understanding your motivations, and always, always approach life with a growth mindset. These skills won’t just help you overcome obstacles they’ll allow you to thrive, no matter where your journey takes you.
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
The most impactful thing my parents did for me was, in many ways, rooted in their struggle. As a first-generation American, I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunities I had that my parents didn’t. My mother, a single parent for much of my life, worked tirelessly to raise my younger brother and me, relying on my grandparents for support during some of the toughest times.
My father was incarcerated for most of my teenage years, which left a significant gap in my life. My mother also endured violent and toxic relationships, which contributed to my deep-seated distrust in the institution of marriage and union. Despite those challenges, I’ve grown beyond that distrust. Now, as a married woman myself, I’ve come to see relationships in a different light, recognizing the value of healthy, loving partnerships while understanding the complexities of what my mother went through.
Though my past was marked by trauma, I’ve come to realize that it has shaped me into the resilient woman I am today. I was forced to confront the generational cycles of pain and dysfunction, and I made the conscious decision to break them. This journey toward healing has allowed me to embrace the beauty in my own life, including my marriage, while holding space for the lessons learned from my parents’ experiences.
Ultimately, the strength and resilience I’ve cultivated were born from my parents’ struggles. Those difficult times have inspired me to forge a different path, one that prioritizes growth, healing, and love. I’m determined to build a future that reflects everything I’ve worked through, not just for myself, but for my family and future generations. My past, while challenging, has been the foundation for the life I now create with intention.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.vsgbestie.com
- Youtube: TBTM.Live
- Other: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@vsg_bestie
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