Meet Chastidy Thomas

We recently connected with Chastidy Thomas and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Chastidy, thank you for being such a positive, uplifting person. We’ve noticed that so many of the successful folks we’ve had the good fortune of connecting with have high levels of optimism and so we’d love to hear about your optimism and where you think it comes from.

My optimism came from my Bonus Father, it was one of the many treasures he brought into my life and one of the life lessons he taught me by his actions as well as his encouraging words. It taught me to look at any situation as “glass half full”, to always have hope, to know and understand when things are bad, it’s ok to feel what you feel, but you should do your best to turn your focus to the blessings you do have and use that to keep going. Try not to stay wallowed in hurt, regret, pity, etc. look back at your life at the blessings that God has given you and remember he will do it again even when things seem tough and overwhelming. Mistakes will be made, that’s life, but do not dwell on those mistakes, use them to learn and to grow, what was done is done, and you can’t change that, but you can definitely change your behavior or decisions going forward to do and be better. This life lesson he taught me changed my whole view of life and has helped shaped me to be the women I am today. Along with optimism, he helped teach me the self-peace and reward that comes with forgiveness of others. I have taken these life lessons and passed them onto my children, and over the years as I have been a second mom, mentor, coach, and advisor I have shared this same gift of optimism and encouragement with others as well. I love it when you can see the gears shift, and they are open to hear what I am saying, receive it, and try to take these tools and apply them to their own situation. I have had them come back to me and thank me and share their experience, my own children will call or face time and share as well, I am so thankful that I was able to help even in the smallest way. An even greater reward is when I see or hear my children doing the same with their friends.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I am currently the Executive Assistant to the Provost at Mount St. Mary’s University, and I absolutely love my job. Again, I am blessed to have a boss who too is very optimistic and all though my title is “assistant” he encourages me to get involved on campus with other activities or projects, as well as furthering my education. He values my opinion and that makes me want to continue to do well and work hard. I work behind the scenes to help this office run well, so when he has to do his job, he trusts that the leg work has been done efficiently and he doesn’t have to worry. I am also the advisor for Black Student Union (BSU) here on campus, and I really enjoy working with the students. Seeing young black excellence is such a joy, I am an ear to listen, I encourage them, sometimes a shoulder to cry on (yes, our young adults in 2024 can get overwhelmed), I make them aware when there is lack and I see they are not putting their best foot forward, and I advocate for them when it is needed. I would do anything for them as a group or individually to help them to keep striving and moving forward.
My dream was to be a dancer from 4 years old, I love dancing, but life happened it did not happen. In the early 2000’s I was introduced to ZUMBA by a friend, and I absolutely fell in love, I was dancing again. At that time, I was married, and my children were still young and active in school and after school activities, sports etc. so I was not able to really get into Zumba as regularly as I wanted to, and I was ok with that. Fast forward to 2021, I am divorced, both children have graduated college and living their best life, and I’m looking and feeling lost, because I am sitting in the reality of, my life was literally my husband and my kids, now what? I got my Zumba instructor license during COVID, so now I have my license and now where to teach class, and online was not working out as I had hoped. I got this new job at the Mount, my co-worker mentioned to someone I am a Zumba instructor, the next thing you know I am now teaching my own class, I am dancing again, and I LOVE IT. I’m teaching a Zumba class here at the Mount and also at a gym one day a week that is closer to my home address. As much as I love it, I didn’t realize how some of the students here love it as well. I have had students thank me and tell me how they were having a tough semester and looked forward to my class every week because it was fun and very uplifting. One thing I also did not realize until one of my participants brought it to my attention, a lot of the songs I use in my class were not only uplifting but she said “empowering”, and that meant so much to me.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Humility is a great quality to have and to learn early on. Be open to receive feedback and construction criticism and use that to do and be a better person. I know it may be hard to hear sometimes that you are not right, or you said or did this, and it hurt me even if that was not your intention, you have to learn to take that to the chin, and be willing to apologize when it is warranted, and be mindful going forward so you don’t repeat the behavior over and over. This is something that I have had to do with my children, I made it very clear to them at a young age, your voice matters and so do your feelings, as your mother, I may not always agree with you, but that doesn’t mean if I ask you about something that I don’t want your honest opinion. Well, of course they are young adults now, so there have been times when they have brought things to my attention as their mother, and what do you know….. I was wrong. So, yes, I had to take that, I had to humble myself and apologize to them, as hard as that is, as parents we don’t want to ever be wrong. I could not disregard how they felt or what they were saying because I instilled in them to do exactly this!
Try to learn that it is ok to agree to disagree and move on. Sometimes there is no right or wrong, you just see things differently and that is OK. No more no less, just different.
Forgiveness is so much more for you than anyone who has done your wrong. There is such a peace that comes with forgiving someone, and I’m not saying it’s always easy, but holding a grudge and unforgiveness will hinder you, and it will block your blessings. You’re holding this grudge and that person most likely is going on with life without a care in the world. You don’t need to hold onto it, whatever it is, all actions have consequences, good or bad, if they did you wrong, it will come back on them in some way. Forgive, so you can have and keep your peace.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?

When I feel overwhelmed, one of the things I do is pray. There are many times, when I pray last and do other things first, when I should have prayed first, but pray is definitely needed when feeling overwhelmed. If the situation is something I can step away from, I will do that, take a day to just not think, not do anything. I remind myself that I can only deal with one thing at a time, one day at a time, I refocus my thinking. There are times when things happen, good or bad, and I immediately go into thinking about how this will be 2-3 months from now, that is overwhelming, so I have to remind myself to stay in the present, enjoy the moment I am in, because nobody knows what the future holds, no matter how much to try to plan it out down to every minute. I also try to find something to read, or watch that is funny, laughter is the best medicine.