We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Chelsea Robinson a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Chelsea, so great to have you with us and thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts with the community. So, let’s jump into something that stops so many people from going after their dreams – haters, nay-sayers, etc. We’d love to hear about how you dealt with that and persisted on your path.
It took me a long time to really understand that not everyone is going to like me – I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. I think many women grew up as people pleasers, denying themselves of their own feelings, wants and needs with the hopes of being accepted and finding belonging. I carried this with me for a very long time; well into Motherhood. But then, as I have been raising my children, I have come to realize that a) I am making decisions based off of what I think I “should” do inorder to make others happy and b) it doesn’t always make ME happy (or my kids). When my values clashed with other peoples values or expectations of me, I had to choose. It wasn’t and still isn’t easy, but now I recognize that I don’t owe anyone else an explanation as to why I do what I do as a Mother. This has been freeing and empowering. I have been able to channel this into other areas of my life, like my business, and can now more clearly see that I don’t have to make everyone happy there either (in fact, that’s impossible). I accept that I won’t make everyone happy – I accept that I am not for everyone. There is freedom in expecting haters and nay-sayers AND also in telling them that it’s okay to not like me – I am good with that. I don’t have to like everyone or everything either.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I feel so lucky to love what I do – as the founder of my own practice I get to choose my day everyday and that is thrilling. I have been a psychotherapist for Mothers for the last four years (a Clinical Director at a non-profit simultaneously – don’t recommend the dualing careers however). It’s been in that time that I have realized how much the more traditional models of care for supporting Mothers clinically and otherwise just aren’t cutting it these days. I believe, big statement here, that they tend to pathologize too much of Motherhood, keeping Mothers believing that their burnout, mom rage, overwhelm, exhuastion etc. is a “me problem” when it’s a “we problem” (as evidenced by the climbing rates of maternal mental health issues). It was from this place of feeling inadequate as a maternal mental health therapist, that I found the theory of matrescence and the greater feild of Motherhood Studies. I went down a rabbit hole educating myself on these concepts, receiving consultation and mentorship from leading experts in these spaces, and now have developed The Matricentric Way – a socio-cultural model of care for mothers all throughout their maternal life span. I train clinicians, midwives, coaches and beyond (anyone that works with mothers) on this framework internationally.
I never would have guessed that this is what I would be doing – but I wouldn’t change it. This is definetly where I am supposed to be – creating impact in the Motherhood world and helping to expand the conversation on maternal mental health. To know that my work has a ripple effect, be in one mother at a time or one professional at a time, is why I do what I do. Mothers need change – systemically, politically, culturally…in all the ways – at home and in the public sphere. I am determined to be a part of that on a cultural level and feel so energized by each professional I get to support in this way. The next round of The Matricentric Way begins again in January 2025 – so if you are interested, please sign up for the newsletter to stay in the know! And enjoy listening to The Re-Imagining Motherhood podcast too, as a resource to support you personally and professionally on your motherhood journey.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Knocking on doors. Following what lights you up. Have a mentor.
Knock on doors – Yes yes yes. This one has served and continues to serve me so well. I am not shy – I will put myself out there…find an email and email it. People want to help – they want to pay it forward (and be paid at times for it too!). If you have a role model or someone you want to learn from…reach out to them. If they say no, ask them who they know or where you should go next. And if they say no and close the door…keep going.
Follow what lights you up. Passion matters – if you love what you do everyday, then you never work a day in your life. If you are drained by what you are doing, take that as a nudge to explore something else. If you can make money doing something that fires you up, follow that. And if you can’t rockclimb for a living, then make sure to prioritize rockclimbing when you can – especially on those hard days when you feel most depleted.
Have a mentor – be it one person or a circle of support, surround yourself with others that can lift you up when you feel down. Have someone you can ask the tricky questions too. Bounce ideas off of. Have someone you can process through ethical situations with – someone who knows your integrity. Don’t go it alone – it is a tough world out there and you will be far better served having others on your side.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
I walk away – I pause. I turn it off. In our culture we tend to push through too often…we push through the anxiety and overwhelm. We aim to achieve and accomplish all we can. But it is a moving target and a never ending to-do list. I have grown to know within myself that when I am doing something I don’t want to do, I don’t have the energy for or that is making me snappy…that I should pause right then. Nothing is a crisis (unless it is truly). To push through only makes me operate from a place of crisis and that is not good for my system. If I can remind myself that it isn’t an emergency, ask myself why I am rushing or notice my shallow breathing, then I tend to know I need to pause and come back to it later. It is a mental reframe and takes practice, but the pushing through never ends until YOU stop it.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.mamasmodernvillage.com
- Instagram: mamasmodernvillage
- Linkedin: mamasmodernvillage
- Other: The Re-Imagining Motherhood podcast on Spotify
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