We were lucky to catch up with Christie Bishop recently and have shared our conversation below.
Christie, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
One word: Cancer. I know it sounds completely counterintuitive, but stick with me.
I just turned 45 (saying it loud and proud) and, ironically, feel like I’m just getting started. If you had asked me to describe myself two years ago, I would’ve stuck to the shiny part of my life: “I’m a successful advertising executive, pretty awesome wife, and proud #girlmom.” But that would’ve been omitting the double life I’ve led for over 15 years.
So here’s the truth: I’m all of the above but I’ve also been caregiving for my husband, Bryan, who in 2009 was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and given six months to live. I was just 29 years old. Spoiler alert: He’s beaten all odds and is still surviving, and I’ve been caring for him while also working full-time, traveling to see clients, raising our daughter, managing teams through a pandemic, and showing up for everyone to the detriment of myself. That means taking calls from chemotherapy centers, hiding in vacant offices across the world to call in for MRI results during biz trips, getting hospitalized from my own stress, etc.
Less shiny, but far more real. And it’s also where I found my purpose: to help people who are buried under the weight of caregiving while also trying to balance work, parenting, marriage/partnership, and life overall.
One year ago, I made a massive career pivot and bet on myself, founding “What Nobody Tells Us” Strategies & Coaching. After 15 years in the caregiving trenches, I host workshops, trainings and coaching at companies worldwide. supporting working parents and caregivers through life’s most difficult moments. Beyond that, “What Nobody Tells Us” platform has grown to include a weekly podcast that demystifies “taboo” topics and normalizes uncomfortable conversations, a weekly e-newsletter, and guest speaking engagements.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I’m the CEO of ‘What Nobody Tells Us’ Strategies, which I founded after nearly 15 years of living a double life: A global advertising executive by day and brain cancer caregiver by night for my husband, who in 2009 was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and given six months to live. I was only 29 years old and my life quite literally changed overnight. I went from a newly-minted Strategy Director to full-time cancer caregiver. Campaign planner to patient advocate. Newlywed to possible widow. I had no idea what to do and no one could relate to me, no matter how old they were.
While my husband was fighting his cancer, I was fighting to climb the career ladder and didn’t want any status as a “caregiver” to elicit pity or worse yet, being passed over for opportunities or promotions because someone else believed I “had too much going on at home.”
So I played both roles and, for over a decade, only my closest colleague confidants knew the truth.
After nearly 13 years of mostly hiding my reality, I left advertising and in 2022 started ‘What Nobody Tells Us’ Strategies. Now, I am openly sharing my story and using my experience to give other people the guide to getting through life’s toughest moments, offering them the support and tools I didn’t have at age 29.
My “What Nobody Tells Us” podcast just hit its one-year anniversary, with each episode focused on giving people real talk on topics society has deemed “uncomfortable” and, at the same time, normalizing conversation around it. As an example, I’ve covered Alzheimer’s, secondary infertility, patient advocacy, caregiving, pediatric cancer, losing a parent, IVF, pre-eclampsia, leukemia, foster care, and so much more.
As the podcast grew, I started getting inquiries from friends and former colleagues about caregiving coaching, which was a natural fit. Since then, WNTU has grown and now partners with large and small organizations to provide support for their employee caregivers, including managerial training, workshops, HR programming, coaching, and more. We dive deep into what it’s really like to be a caregiver and working parent. Nothing is off limits and I’m able to really hone in on the consequential yet unspoken realities of a caregiver’s existence, because I’m living it.
What’s next? I’m working with Stanford and other higher-ed institutions to teach courses on navigating the world of caregiving, and am developing my own WNTU’s online courses to help caregivers balance the impact on marriage/partnership, parenthood, career, friendships, and more.
After all these years and all our struggles, my purpose couldn’t be more clear: I’ve turned my life’s biggest challenge into my life’s work.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
These have changed over the past 15 years.
1. Determination and Naïveté
In the early days after my husband’s diagnosis, my combined sense of determination and naïveté were assets. I was able to channel my ambition and determination into being a staunch patient advocate for my husband, asking questions, demanding that doctors explain things in layman’s terms, learning the ins and outs of insurance, putting up boundaries around us to protect him (and me) from well-intentioned but ultimately energy-draining connections. Similarly, I also didn’t know what I didn’t know. I’d never known anyone with cancer before, much less a terminal diagnosis and what would come along with it. Hindsight being 20/20, I am so glad I had no idea the trials and tribulations to come because it might have paralyzed me with fear. Instead, I was able to move one step and one day at a time, addressing each new challenge as they arose.
2. Optimism
I’ve always been a positive and optimistic person; both come naturally to me. Both make a major impact in your caregiving journey, as it’s very easy to lose yourself in a tornado of darkness, a la Tina Fey’s character “22” in the Pixar movie, Soul (look it up). Doing my best to keep a positive attitude, find moments of joy, reasons to laugh and tiny victories made every difference. The same goes for the patient. My husband’s neuro oncologist said early on that while he couldn’t provide it, “more than half the battle is positive attitude.” He’s seen time and time again patients who have a negative mindset and give up, lose their battle quickly. On the contrary, those who take a positive outlook and stay optimistic, no matter what comes their way, tend to fare far better in their treatments.
3. Surrender & Perspective
I’ve coined this the “puzzle piece philosophy.” I’ve just turned 45 and now that I’ve got a little bit of life’s runway behind me, I’m able to turn around and see how EVERY.SINGLE.PIECE of life’s puzzles ended up fitting together exactly as they were meant to. This is especially true for the pieces that didn’t make one bit of sense to me in the moment, but become clear with some distance and perspective. While the journey with my husband’s cancer is far from over — he still gets monthly MRIs and is on a new chemotherapy — knowing that everything works out exactly as it’s meant to gives me the ability to really surrender to this thing called life. I can’t control his cancer any more than I can control a stranger on the street; so I set my intentions, visualize the outcomes I want in life, and surrender to whatever the universe has in store for me. I’ve survived every single one of my worst days, and I know that they’ve all contributed to the amazing place I’m in now.
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
As I expand What Nobody Tells Us, I’m looking to connect with a few different groups of people:
1. Altruistic leaders. Leaders of companies who are looking to genuinely support their employee caregivers. A 2023 Harvard Business Review revealed that 73% of the U.S. workforce has some kind of caregiving responsibility outside of the workplace, and the U.S. has failed these people (including me). I’m looking to partner with these leaders and help them support their teams, whether it’s through learning & development caregiving programs, managerial trainings, ERG/ affinity group workshops, etc. Nothing is easy about being a caregiver — from the stigma, patient advocacy demands, physical and emotional stress, living with anticipatory grief, the insurance and medical system battles, and so much more. But I’m living proof that it can be done, and done well. The more people I help via my journey, the better. It’s why I’m put on this earth.
2. Conference and special event organizers. My husband and I were co-keynote speakers at the 2023 American Brain Tumor Association 50th Anniversary conference; he shared the patient POV while I shared the caregiver perspective, and the response from a combine 1,400 IRL/virtual crowd was incredible. I’m looking to speak more at conferences and events, sharing my experience and how it can help others.
3. Podcast guests. I’m looking to showcase the stories of people who have been through some of life’s hardest moments and are willing to vulnerability articulate the ins and outs to help other people. It doesn’t have to be about caregiving; I’ve covered IVF, Alzheimer’s, patient advocacy, pediatric cancer, loneliness, men’s mental health, life in prison, and so much more.
If you’d like to connect, please email me at [email protected].
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.christiebishop.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pardonmycrumbs/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christiecbishop/
- Other: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-nobody-tells-us/id1698011814?i=1000662300555
Image Credits
American Brain Tumor Association (speaking photo)
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