Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Clark Lawlor. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Clark, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter syndrome was a huge factor for me in college when I was still trying to decide if I could make a career out of composing. I felt hopelessly behind my classmates, having not grown up studying music. In composition there are so many different levels of success, but in my situation success meant making enough money, consistently, to support a family. I just didn’t know if I could do that when I was already behind, and I just didn’t think I could handle the whole “starving musician” situation. So I ended up dropping out to pursue something more “practical.”
After working in business and computers for nearly twenty years, I’ve finally been able to come back to composing again recently. But my definition of success has changed a bit. Success now means being able to compose for the sheer enjoyment of it. Success means maintaining my priorities so I can stick to it for the long term and gradually improve my craft. And even if I’m never able to quit my day job and compose full-time, I’m determined to keep composing anyway, if only for my own fulfillment.
I bring this up because I think imposter syndrome is relative to your goals and your situation. So the first thing that has helped me overcome imposter syndrome is adjusting my goals.
The second thing that has helped me is positive feedback from others. As much as we love to think that our self image is completely internal, there’s no denying that external affirmation helps. Even if I believe I’m the best composer in the world, I won’t be able to hold on to that belief for long if nobody else likes my music.
There was a key moment just a few months after I started composing again that stands out as a turning point. I had convinced my choir director to program one of my very first pieces for our choir concert. It wasn’t my best work, but it was something fun that fit the theme of the concert. At the concert one of my fellow choir members asked me if I composed full-time for a living. He was so impressed with my piece that he thought for sure I was a successful full-time composer. I kind of laughed it off, but it got me thinking, maybe I am good enough to “make it” as a professional composer.
Since then I’ve won several composing awards, published a handful of pieces, and started to see some real success. Each one of these milestones helps my confidence and motivates me to keep me going.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I’m a composer focusing primarily on choral music. I mentioned earlier that I had dropped out of music school in the early 2000s to pursue a more “practical” career. After several years studying business and working in tech I had pretty much given up hope of making a career in music. But in 2022 I was finally in a situation where my job was a little more flexible and I had some free time, so I decided to join a choir to sing again. Shortly thereafter, I decided to start writing choral music again. Since then I’ve written or arranged 15 to 20 pieces (to some degree of completion), I’ve won or been a finalist in five composing competitions, and I’ve published four pieces with a handful more in the pipeline. The very first piece I wrote in the summer of 2022, a setting of a traditional Swedish text called “I denna ljuva sommartid,” has thousands of views on YouTube and has been performed all over the world, including South Africa, Malaysia, and throughout the U.S. and Europe.
My focus as a choral composer is on what I like to call “sacred secular” music. Choral music has a rich spiritual and religious history. Most of the choral masterworks of history–from Bach to Beethoven to Rutter–were written to be performed in churches. I grew up very religious, and music was a huge part of my worship as well, but I have since shed many of the beliefs of my youth. However, I still believe music can create truly “spiritual” experiences, and I don’t think it has to be about religion or the supernatural to do so. I strive to create spiritual experiences with my music through topics such as nature, the universe, and our shared human experience. I also believe that music itself–independent of any text–can create sublime spiritual experiences. This is the music I try to create; music that moves you, that creates “sacred” experiences, but doesn’t favor or promote any particular religious beliefs. Though I occasionally use moderately religious texts, I try to focus more on secular texts, including some of my own.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I think the three most critical qualities and/or skills in my journey as a composer have been: a love of music, an understanding of music theory, and lots of exposure and practice.
This may seem obvious, but the first thing that I couldn’t do without is my love of music. When it comes to music, a lot of people talk about “natural gifts,” while others focus on the critical role of practice. But I think both of these aspects can often be traced back to the fact that some people naturally respond more strongly to certain stimuli. Music triggers the reward centers in their brains to a higher degree, and this (1) motivates them to seek out musical experiences (making the practice aspect a lot easier), and (2) makes them more sensitive to nuances in musical expression, which makes them better at performing or writing music that evokes emotional responses in others. I think my “gift” for composing music is a natural outgrowth of my naturally strong emotional response to music.
The second thing that’s been important to my journey is an understand of music theory. That may be a dirty word for many music majors, but it’s nothing more than the patterns and building blocks of music. When I first took AP Music Theory in high school, with my only musical training being two years of choir, it opened up a whole new world to me. It was like the shackles fell from my eyes and I could finally see my life’s purpose clearly–and that was to write music!
Finally, my journey wouldn’t be complete without lots of exposure to great music. In music, like in any other field, we stand on the shoulders of giants. But in order to really get on their shoulders we need lots of exposure–hours and hours of practice, playing our instrument, singing, listening, and even (sometimes) studying scores. I get so much of my inspiration for writing my own music from singing other people’s music in my local community choir. And since I ultimately want to write for other instruments as well, I recently started taking cello lessons, and I hope to join a community orchestra in the near future.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
In order to become more successful financially as a professional composer, my biggest challenge right now is just getting my name out there, building up my repertoire and my reputation, and shifting my focus to monetization. Unfortunately that means spending less time composing, and more time running a business: marketing, emailing, networking, self-promotion, writing contracts, monetizing and maintaining my website, etc.
I’m fortunate that choral music has a strong tradition of supporting new music and living composers. But it can be challenging for choir directors to know where to look for great new music, and there’s so much to choose from. Most of this knowledge travels through word-of-mouth, and it often takes a while for even the most amazing piece of music to catch on and go viral. I’ve been composing for less than two years, and I’ve been published for less than one. So even if everything I’ve already written were a masterpiece and eventually a best-seller, it would still take a few years before I’d see the fruits of that work financially. The process is slow.
Up to this point I’ve been mostly focused on building up my portfolio and entering competitions. I’ve also been fairly active with networking through social media and in-person conferences. The next step for me is to capitalize on this foundation and start promoting myself more and seeking out commissions. Self-promotion has always been difficult for me. Although I’ve started sending out a few emails to conductors, I really have to psych myself out with every single email I send. I’m hoping that process will get easier the more I do it.
The other aspect of monetization I need to work on is getting set up to self-publish. In the past, in order to “make it” in this business, you had to get accepted by one of the big traditional publishers. But because of shifts in social media, technology, and e-commerce, self-publishing is becoming a much more attractive approach. I’m currently working on getting my business set up to sell sheet music on my website and through retailers like J.W. Pepper, so I can get my music on the market faster and start monetizing my passion more effectively.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.clarkwilliamlawlor.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lawlorclark/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ClarkLawlorMusic/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@clarkwilliamlawlor
Image Credits
Clark Lawlor, Becca Lichfield Photography, Allan Helmick Photography
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