Meet Claudia Chan

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Claudia Chan. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Claudia below.

Claudia, thank you so much for making time for us. We’ve always admired your ability to take risks and so maybe we can kick things off with a discussion around how you developed your ability to take and bear risk?
Looking back at my life, I broke down risk taking into overcoming two different types of fear: fear of failure and fear of rejection.

After I got married, I started pursuing my desire of having my own business. That was because I always wanted to live my life fully by doing what I want. So I got into self-publishing my colouring journals, then transitioned to building a calligraphy and engraving business, and then I jumped into coaching.

Each time I made a jump, my husband would say, “I support you, but you were so good at what you do! I wish you’d keep at it.”

At first I thought I was doing it because I lost interest, but once I understood more about myself through coaching, I realized that these jumps happened whenever it was time for me to show up and promote myself!

I held myself back because of fear of failure, and fear of rejection.

For the fear of failure, not only was it about failing and wondering what people would say about me. I was scared that I didn’t have what it takes to achieve what I wanted. I kept having this nagging thought, “What if I’m in denial? Maybe I am just too stubborn to accept the truth that I am not smart enough to succeed.” It was such a painful belief so I made the jump, to stop myself from the possibility of failing.

For the fear of rejection. I was scared that if I showed up as myself, other people would stop accepting me. What if I start showing the real me, and they no longer love who I am and walk away? It would be a lonely path to pursue.

It were these two fears that stopped me from taking risks. They stopped me from showing up, taking up space, and sharing with the world my skills and power.

In order to overcome this, I had to learn to love myself in two specific ways.

First, I had to love myself enough to believe in me. When I fail, I kept reminding myself that it’s only because I was lacking some specific skills at the moment. I created a safe environment for me to show up, so that I’m willing to take baby steps to fail and get back up in order to achieve my dreams.

Second, I had to love myself to stand strong for me. Even when other people walk out on me, even when they say hurtful things to me, I learn to support myself rather than relying on other people’s acceptance and approval. It’s important to understand that what I’m doing is for myself, and not for anyone else.

Through these two ways, I developed a better ability to take more risk.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I am a Life Coach who work mostly with Asian women. One of the things I work on with them is to break free from the expectations and pressure placed on them by their parents and society. When they get their power back, they become more confident and have more control over their choices. More importantly, my clients also ease up on the pressure they place onto their children, and develop a deeper and more loving connection with them.

About 2 years ago, I brought my son to a STEM program to build a race car. We were asked to pop out the parts from pieces of wood cutouts to assemble it. My son was 4 years old, so my husband and I assisted him, because it was too complex for a child.

Sitting at the same table was a Chinese mom and her 5 year old son. The boy tried really hard and did everything on his own. But near the end, he started getting frustrated. His mom sat there with her arms crossed, and made comments at him with an extremely disappointed look on her face. The boy sat at the table helpless, and wiped tears of frustration from his eyes.

My heart broke, and the feeling of not good enough came crashing back. No matter how hard I try, it wasn’t good enough.

And I understand, there is a lot of pressure to be a “good mom”. Often times, we are expected to give our best and do our best to raise smart, capable children. And when we don’t, it’s our fault.

It is often this pressure that makes us place high expectations on our kids.

This is why I am passionate to do what I do, to bring this awareness to my clients. Once they can see this unrealistic pressure on themselves, then they can consciously decide how they want to manage it. By doing this, they often ease off the expectations they put on their children.

When they develop more compassion toward themselves, they become more compassionate toward their children.
When they become more courageous to speak up and be different, they give their children more space to speak up and be different.
When they allow themselves the freedom to pursue what they want, they also give their children more freedom to go after what they want.

When I do this work, part of it is for me, and the other part is for my son. Because I want him to know that he can do anything, but I can’t tell him that if I do the work.

Five years ago, if you were to tell me that I’d be coaching clients, I’d write a book and speak on international stages (and winning first place at Speaker Slam), I’d probably laugh at you and thought you were crazy. But it’s not, I’d done all these things. And I’m just starting. I want you to know that if there is a spark that nudges you, pay attention to it. It may bring you to places you’d never dreamed of!

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Here are the three that were most impactful in my journey:

1. To be honest with myself

Often, we get criticized, both externally and internally, for the way we think and feel. We are afraid to admit the truth.

When I was dating my now husband, I was forced to choose between my mom and him. Do I choose mom and be a “good daughter”, or do I choose my boyfriend, because it is what I really want?

For some of my clients, it’s normal for them to have trouble admitting what they want. For example, some may feel selfish if they say no to a request, or some may feel guilty for doing things they want.

So it is important to allow ourselves to be honest, so we can get to know ourselves at a deeper level.

2. To trust my intuitions

Since we were young, we were often told what to do, and how to do things. We want to watch more TV? No, it’s not productive. We want to pursue art? No, it’s not going to make you money. On and on.

Rarely do we get a chance to tap into our body and allow it to speak to us, tell us what we want, or how best to proceed with the next step.

When I started learned about this, I thought it was bluff. But once I understood it at a deeper level, I now use it all the time on myself and with my clients.

When I started my business journey, I hired a business coach thinking that they could guide me. Logically, the technique made sense, but throughout the process, I had to force myself to do things that weren’t in alignment with my body. Also, I felt as if I had to lie about my progress to make my coach “proud”. I now realized how even though one technique may work for someone, it may not be best for me.

So I believe that it is very important for us to learn to build up our intuition and trust ourselves, because no one knows it better than ourselves.

3. Celebrate my wins

When I was taking my speaking program, one of the coaches said, “The amount of celebrating you do need to be equivalent to the amount of work you put in.”

I am still working on this, but I agree whole-heartedly.

I rarely celebrate myself. My focus is usually on my shortcomings, or on the next goal. And I see how damaging it is, because it makes me dismiss all of my hard work, the progress, the wins. And the wins is what creates the dopamine in my brain, that is the chemical that makes me happy, makes me proud. And when I feel this say, it makes me me want to do the difficult things again!

That is why I often celebrate my son, so that he gets used to paying attention to his effort and progress. Making him feel good so he will keep trying the hard things.

If you’re not ready to hire a coach yet, and want to do this for yourself, here’s my suggestion. You can find yourself a quiet space and do some deep breathing exercise, and learn to build up the trust within yourself. Get curious to see what comes up for you, and journal down your thoughts to get to know yourself better.

Some people may find journaling difficult because of their strong inner critic. We often have a tendency to criticize ourselves, and this is why hiring a coach is helpful. A great coach has the capacity to give you a safe space to be truthful, and they can point out things that you’re unaware of. It is very important to find a coach that resonates with you, so take your time to get to know them.

Who is your ideal client or what sort of characteristics would make someone an ideal client for you?
My ideal client is someone who knows that they are different. They’re finding it difficult to stand for themselves, but they’re ready to take the next step.

Maybe you love someone whom your family disapprove of, and you are ready to choose the person you love.
Maybe you had been doing everything for everyone, and you’re ready to put your foot down and say ‘No’.
Maybe you’re tired of looking out for everyone, and when you need help, no one seems to care for you. Now you’re ready to take care of yourself first.
Maybe you’re mad at yourself for getting frustrated with your kids, and you know you can do better, and you’re ready to have a more loving connection with them.
Maybe you feel there is a spark inside of you. You’re not quite sure what it is, and you want to find out what you want for yourself.

All of these are examples of the clients I work with. And after working together, my clients become more courageous to find the clarity in their hearts, do what brings them joy, and live a fulfilling life free of other people’s judgement.

If you’re ready to put yourself before others to reconnect with that spark inside of your heart, and to live a joyful and purposeful life, then let’s connect!

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Speaker Slam photo: Philip Zave

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