Meet Connie Kirkpatrick

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Connie Kirkpatrick. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Connie, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?

There is no complete or single concept for where my resilience originated.

When I participated in talk therapy at the beginning of my recovery journey I had asked my therapist that question. She said the closest she could derive an answer is that some of us seem to be born with it. Others learn how to develop it through the various influences in their life. Then there are those who are not fortunate enough to have those influences.

Since I can remember my reasoning did not fit anyone else’s. My life was disrupted first by my parents divorcing and second my mother’s remarriage to a pedophile. I believe my resilience developed after her marriage, because she sent me off to Sunday school and bible studies and any other “school” available to me. At the age of four I began kindergarten. My need for information was fed, asking questions and getting into trouble for challenging adult rationale.

Somewhere in that mix my child brain could not reconcile with that adult logic and the spirit guiding me in my life said. We all have a spirit guide, whether we choose to listen or not is a matter of self choice. I was drawn to listen. I began my education at four years old, going to the library, finding books that challenged the norm and myself. The birth of a disruptor, I believe this is what kept me alive and always having a happy heart.

I lived the life of a traumatized woman, repeating that trauma, despite the education I provided myself, the grooming of the educational system and at home kept me locked into following that pattern. The information I required to break that pattern was not provided at the time. It was not until I began questioning everything more fervently that the resources I required were created. I learned from the era of my life. It was an opportunity to become the resource others would need. Without it I would not be the woman I am today.

My belief today is that resilience is born from that desire to stand outside, to know, to understand, to find another way. I call it the whispers of the spirit that pushes me to rise to the challenge, to not be defeated. To challenge my own beliefs, teachings and to find that one space to be safe and allow healing to take place. Take what I have grown through and share with the world, bring that challenge to them.

I teach questioning, embracing that three year old toddler that is always asking why. To embrace that toddler, because that is where we find our resilience, our birth and our freedom. Time to play, time to work, time to rest.

Today I do love my life, I am a healer, teacher and guide. It brings me joy to watch others blossom and become that healer, teacher, guide and embracing their freedom.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

Since I was very young I knew I wanted to be a counselor, to be a guide and bring healing to others. I swayed from that path, my Divine guide had more to teach me. Especially since I discovered in my recovery that one cannot teach that which is not available to them as a life experience. I believe if we do not experience we cannot guide.

I became a counselor, experienced the 12-step program and educated myself about addiction/alcoholism, dual diagnosis, and attended various workshops learning how to be the best counselor possible. I had an employer who encouraged me to attend and be more.

I discovered that counselor rate of burnout is high, and one of the primary reasons I discovered or at least the repeating theme I witnessed was letting go of their own recovery path. Believing that sober was enough. Many relapsed and passed on, others went on disability and medications.

I decided that creating a business that could support and provide for staffers in a way that guided them through the early years of being a counselor and sobriety was necessary. Sadly they did not. I have not stopped my path in providing services such a spiritual coaching, guiding in lifestyle changes and providing resources to further careers and personal growth.

I have recently set up a workshop on “The Art of Journal Keeping: Self-Dialogue” My sessions include examples of how to have that conversation with self. I offer what I call a “toolbox guide” and other worksheets, group and individual sessions. My goal is to provide the guidance I have received throughout my recovery to those who seek to be more. I am seeking to build a village of teachers, guides, healers, and challengers.

The difference between me and others who coach/counsel? It is not about my way nor do I offer “canned, one size fits all” coaching. My way is not for everyone. I am intense in my recovery and healing journey. Not everyone is equipped for that path. I stress that this is your path, your way, do as you are able, take what you can use and leave the rest. Most important “Be Safe!” Seek professional guidance where needed. Create a loving support group. Security in this journey is important. I live by the ethics I learned when counseling and still bring them into my practice.

I am but a guide, sounding board, and am a fallible human being. However, I am capable of being that guide post, supporter and will always be sincere.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

The most important skill: ASK WHY? Take on the tough questions. Accept fear, guilt and shame as your companion and get to know them. Do not hide from them. They are after all simply emotions.

The most impactful event: A probation officer who told me: “I believe you can make it, that you can recover, but I also believe you will fall back into the old way of life. I leave the choice to you. I will support you on your recovery or your disease. Let me know which. I can provide the resources for both.” He was the first person to believe my story and the first person to support me 100% in all I did.

Areas of knowledge: Desire to learn, I had a few teachers in my life who encouraged me and challenged me. The greatest area of knowledge is religious studies and I include the myths and legends of old. Gaining an understanding to how and why they exist is a big part of human nature.

If you have the desire and willingness you will do and go where no one else has dared to. Never let anyone tell you it is impossible. Nothing is impossible, some may be improbable, but even then a solution will provide if you allow it. Flow. This is our natural state. Do not turn from fear but ask it what message it brings you today. Learn how to have the conversation.

Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?

I struggled in early recovery with concepts and teaching which appeared again from those well meaning in 12-step programs. Spirituality was far more important to me than doctrine. The education and religious beliefs between Wesleyan Methodist and Southern Baptist was confusing and twisted. Top it off with 12-step rhetoric and I was lost.

I stepped into a thrift shop one day, went to their bookshelf with the intent of finding a guide to my quandary. The first book, actually fell over on the shelf, “Miracle of Mindfulness” by Thich Naht Hanh. I wore that copy out. I discovered meditation was actually more an act of mindfulness and this was something I could do always. Grounding me and keeping me focused. This book continues to be a guide post.

The second book, “The Sermon on the Mount,” by Emmet Fox. It made it human, fallible, making sense in a way that those words could be used in daily life. I found a way to reconcile the religious rhetoric with my current belief and discovered that I was not going to be stricken down as blasphemous.

My spiritual life evolved and continues to do so. I have both books, practice those skills always. Mindfulness is a key to ground, center, and maintain equilibrium. Without it focus is difficult.

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Image credits are A Spiritual Paradigm with the assistance of AI generator Ideogram.io

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