Meet Courtney Hattaway

We recently connected with Courtney Hattaway and have shared our conversation below.

Courtney , we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

I spent much of my early years in life feeling like I was missing out, and I’m certain I even blocked out certain memories because I felt like I wasn’t good enough at anything I tried, or if I did seem good enough, it was because I was faking it and people would eventually figure it out. This was of course, all happening in my head and was not the reality- I was very loved by my family, no matter my insecurities. We didn’t have much and my parents divorced when I was very young, so I just struggled with finding my place until I was old enough to move out and understand that childhood is only the beginning of a much more meaningful, yet challenging journey, one that I started realizing more and more would be made happier by truth, honesty and integrity. My dad passed away, and that was my rock bottom, even though it took me several more years to get my life together. I screwed up enough relationships to finally hit a point where I knew I had to alter the way I had always operated, or things just were never going to get better for me. It just takes doing the same thing over and over again enough times with wasted results to realize you’re tired of living that way. Once I began making goals focusing on my mental health and emotional stability, as well as choosing relationships that enhanced my life rather than exhausting me, things started to fall into place. I stopped feeling like I was a fraud. I spent a long time chasing after physical things to feel satisfied, when really, I needed to face myself and what I was lacking emotionally. From then on, it was easy to feel confident in myself and the relationships I curated with others, because it was with thoughtful and genuine intent. I know that I’m giving it my all and in return, I’m worthy of that same respect, now.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I’ve always been drawn to service and community. I worked at a popular local restaurant with most of my family for 22 years before closing that chapter last year. I stayed in the industry for a long time because of the bonds that I formed with people I now call lifelong “framily”, working in such a demanding environment each day. I was allowed a great deal of flexibility and more forgiveness than I deserved from that world. I learned so many invaluable life skills from serving the public in that capacity, and it really bolstered my confidence to jump into nonprofit work at the same time. I would wait tables in the evenings and work at a local nonprofit animal clinic every day in my late 20’s and early 30’s. I really enjoy people and making connections, and there are many similarities between what you’re doing in a restaurant or bar and a nonprofit- the biggest one being that you’re always hustling! Most recently, I have settled into a fulfilling role that has solidified my belief that what is meant for you will find you at the right time. I am the Community Engagement Specialist at Cultivate KC, a nonprofit organization that works diligently to connect consumers with fresh, healthy, affordable, local produce, while also offering technical assistance, mini-grants, and networking resources for metro area urban farmers. In addition to all of that, our organization operates an incubator farm called New Roots, on nine acres in Kansas City, Kansas, where we train New Americans (with a background in farming) to run their own successful small farming business. Coming from a restaurant career and having the opportunity now to actually learn something new each day about where food comes from, how essential it is to our physical health and our health as a society, and just how fragile that system is- and then being able to turn around and share that message with others is the biggest purpose I could realize. I’m blessed to be at the forefront of a conversation that is only getting louder as our planet evolves.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Optimism is a quality that has always come easy for me but seems to be difficult for most people to embrace- which I completely understand during these times in which we are all living. I hold on even tighter to optimism for that very reason, however! An optimistic person saves more room in their heart for empathy and patience, the two other qualities I value most. If you are unable to empathize with others, you are missing out on the human connection- the ties that make us more familial than distant, more friend than adversary. I’m not sure there’s anything more important than that. And patience is a virtue. There is a reason there are so many common phrases regarding patience! Everything good I’ve earned in life has come from being patient and understanding that what is meant for me will find me when it is supposed to. I believe all three of these attributes have benefited me immensely and are like guiding stars throughout my life’s journey. They’ll always lead me home.

None of it is revolutionary- these are natural traits we all possess deep down. They just need to be nurtured to thrive, and the pace and culture of today’s society tends to work in opposition.

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?

My parents taught me how to be a parent. My mother left my father when my siblings and I were very young. She walked away from an alcoholic partner and a marriage that was causing her (and us) serious distress. She depended on her family, her church, and her friends for support, and did everything she could to give us the most “normal” childhood she was able to. She scraped by and held onto our family home, only cried when she was on her way to and from work, and made sure we had tea parties, camping trips, and toys on Christmas morning. She instilled tradition in me. I always knew she struggled, but the switch didn’t really flip on until I had my own kid. My mom poured into me, hoping one day I would be full to the brim and able to pour into someone else. And I have. Unconditional love is what we call that.
My dad got sober and was able to spend 17 years counseling addicts and sharing his story of survival. He was the best lecturer in the Midwest, and people listened intently when he spoke. We visited him every other weekend and for one month each summer. We thought he was the most hilarious human who ever lived. I went and lived with him through high school (much to my mom’s dismay!) and bonded with him more than ever before. My dad was sentimental, humble, and so very funny. He retired after years of counseling and sobriety, fell back into his addiction, and passed just two years later from his disease. He taught me how to let go- nothing is permanent- and that the only thing that stays the same is that everything changes. Equally as important as unconditional love, but a much more painful concept.

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