We recently connected with Crystal Ishihara and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, so we’re so thrilled to have Crystal with us today – welcome and maybe we can jump right into it with a question about one of your qualities that we most admire. How did you develop your work ethic? Where do you think you get it from?
My work ethic likely stems from being the oldest of four (4) and striving to be an overachiever which resulted in an anxious brain. As the oldest child, I often had to be the first one to do things, without someone else to follow. Fortunately for me, I didn’t know that I should expect to follow someone else’s example, so I tended to just try to figure out my own way. The overachiever mentality probably started when I was in school. I had a second grade teacher tell me that my brain was like a “sponge” because it just soaked up information. It was the first time that I remember someone telling me that I was smart, and I just decided to run with it. And the rest is kind of just brain chemistry; you set the goal, you reach the goal, you get the dopamine hit, and then you want to do it all over again. I have been fortunate that this has allowed me to accomplish a weird amalgamation of achievements. I’m over-educated with multiple graduate degrees (MA in Industrial/Organizational Psychology, MA in Marriage and Family Therapy, and a PhD in Business Psychology) and an adjunct faculty member with my alma mater where I support other students through their dissertation process and teach a handful of courses. When I got done with my doctorate, I had a lot of brain energy that needed to go somewhere, so I wrote Shitty Bosses and Asshole Employees: Don’t Read This Book! (available on Amazon) in a month, and then used the downtime during the pandemic to do the audio version (available on Audible). The book is an easy-to-read, f-bomb-filled, millenial perspective on managing others, being managed by others, and what to do in both situations while still being true to yourself. I started a leadership consulting firm (just as a side gig) where I use my education to help other organizations take care of their people (visit Ishihumann.com to check it out). I have a small craft business because I broke my arm in 2022, and decided to take up drawing to keep my hand-dexterity agile (you can find me @ishihara.ink on Instagram and Etsy). I also do a lot of other random crafts like painting shoes and purses, making Lego earrings, sculpting out of colored clay, just recently learned how to crochet, making diaper cakes, and 3D printing. Most recently, I started working on my Marriage and Family Therapist license, and am currently pursuing the clinical hours. This was a huge transition after having worked in higher education administration for 15 years. During the pandemic, I came to the realization that I wasn’t making the kind of impact that I wanted to make, and I wasn’t helping people in a way that felt meaningful. I had started an Anti-Racism Collaboration at my place of work that focused on education and research, and had felt so much more fulfilled by supporting others that I decided to make the switch. I started my second master’s and never looked back. It’s awkward to have bragged about all of the random goals I worked on, but I think at the end of the day, it was because I was looking for something that meant something to me, holistically. I am thankful for the journey, because each goal led me to the next, and I am so glad to be working on this new goal now.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My two big loves right now are creating and therapy. As an artist, I am a dabbler. I see something that inspires me and then I try my hand at doing it myself. If I enjoy it, I keep at it, and eventually I lose interest in it, until something else inspires me. I’ve always been into making crafts, which comes from my parents. My mom is a big time crafter and my dad is just the smartest guy I know (he can figure out how to put anything together). They both have the ability to look at something, and think “I could do that”, and then they just do. I learned that from them and have appreciated that fearlessness. Right now, I’m working on small drawing projects, and will hopefully get back to the poetry book that I was writing last year.
As a therapist, I am a systems-thinker. I look at the client as part of a larger network of relationships and history, and I use that context to work with them on the goals that they want to reach. I feel privileged to be a part of their journey, particularly when they are in a very difficult time. It’s truly an honor to know the heaviest part of someone’s story, to have them trust you to know them that way, and to support them as they work toward their next phase. I have been so fortunate to step into a role where I get to make even a small difference in someone else’s life.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
When considering what has helped me forward on my journey, I thought back on the hard moments and what I did in those times that worked for my conscience and overall success. I am a big believer in Listening first, and speaking second, particularly in large meetings or heated situations. If you allow the other person/people to speak, and share what they are thinking/feeling, you can have a better idea of how they are looking at the problem/situation, and either provide additional information, or give a suggestion that takes their concerns into consideration. It also provides space to develop empathy. It is really important that you listen to understand, and not to respond. It is totally okay to take a moment after someone has spoken to gather your thoughts and then respond. I might do this by saying “I hear you…” take the pause I need, and then address what they’ve said. You can do this in any kind of relationship, and as you cultivate a wider understanding of the person you are talking to, you can better incorporate their perspective into a mutual path forward. Doing this, takes Humility, as the fighting parts of our brain want to respond quickly, to have an answer, or to seem the smartest. I’ve learned though, that taking this moment, allows you to regroup, remind yourself of what matters, and lets you be more open to what can happen. Humility has also always been important to me, as it is the best place to start or restart any kind of relationship. If you think that you are the best/smartest/prettiest/coolest person in the room, you are likely not considering others and making that moment about you. That can make it difficult for others to want to have a genuine relationship with you and relationships are so important for general life fulfillment. The last thing I would add here is how important it is to have Integrity. Integrity shows that you care about something being done right, for the right reasons, and integrity is what shows up in the hard moments when you really want to do something else. When it would be easier to make something up, to not do the research, to misrepresent your own values; those are the moments when integrity matters to you as a person, and to others who will often pay attention to your actions. These moments tell others that they can trust you to be the person you say you are.
Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?
I feel like I have been saying a lot of things that make it seem like I am a superhuman who can do all of these things on my own, and it’s just not true. The most amazing human being in my life is my best friend and husband Brian Luhmann, PsyD. He has been my major support system since we began dating in 2013, and I have only grown to love and cherish him more and more through the years. He is my favorite person to be around, and he has always been the one to remind me that I have done hard things before, and that even if things get difficult, we can figure it out together. He helped me get through my dissertation when I was working on my doctorate, he let me be a sleepy mess the month that I wrote my book (and gave me the topic idea in the first place), was my loving caretaker when I broke my arm and was out of commission, and more than anything, has supported me through a major career shift. He is always willing to let me be my own person, and love me through my moments of self doubt. I am forever grateful to him, and wish that everyone could have a person as awesome as him as their support system.
I also have to thank Ralph Miranda and Jen Ha Lu, for always being such huge supporters and bringing me into their circle of awesomely creative and talented friends. They gave me the opportunity to do some voice acting on Oh Bubba Lu!, their animated web series which is entirely animated by Ralph and the main character Bubba is voiced by Jen. Jen was the very first friend I made when I moved from Hawaii to California, and she has always been such a cheerleader for anything that I’m working on. Ralph has always been so encouraging when it came to anything creative. He inspired me to try my hand at selling some of my art and I have been so grateful to him for the positive nudge. He has also given such awesome tips when it comes to getting started, what technology to use, and he always just likes to bring people in. I am so thankful to know them both! I have gotten to know so many of their friends and have appreciated all of the fun, creative spaces that we get to be a part of now because of them. Definitely check out Oh Bubba Lu! on Youtube and Amazon Prime if you get a chance!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.ishihumann.com
- Instagram: @ishihara.ink and @crystalishiharaphd
- Facebook: n/a
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cishihara/
- Twitter: n/a
- Youtube: n/a
- Yelp: n/a
- Soundcloud: n/a
Image Credits
n/a – all photos taken by me
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
