Meet Cutter Ray Palacios

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Cutter Ray Palacios. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Cutter Ray below.

Hi Cutter Ray, so happy to have you on the platform and I think our readers are in for a treat because you’ve got such an interesting story and so much insight and wisdom. So, let’s start with a topic that is relevant to everyone, regardless of industry etc. What do you do for self-care and how has it impacted you?

Ever since I was a teenager, I struggled with a behavioral addiction known as workaholism. When I talk to people about workaholism, they tend to laugh and joke about how they are one as well. I then have to explain that I am serious and go to Workaholics Anonymous, a 12 step program that is for those struggling with an unhealthy relationship with work or perfectionism.

For most of my life I have been told how resilient I am or how much fortitude I have because of how I have pushed through adversity to achieve some goal. This was often at the cost of myself. I have lost jobs, relationships, connections, and more opportunities than I realize because I failed to take care of myself.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) uses a step-by-step guide to wellness that covers 8 Dimensions. Over the years, every improvement I have made towards self-care has fallen into one of these categories.

As I go through each dimension, demonstrating what I do, I encourage you to reflect on your own practices.

Improving Physical Wellness:
“A healthy body. Good physical health habits. Nutrition, exercise, and appropriate health care. These make up the physical dimension of wellness.”

The biggest thing I started doing to take care of myself was sleep. In TV and Film, we often work 14-16 hour days. We start at 5 am on a Monday, and every day our start time moves up until we are pulling a Fraturday when we start at 5pm on Friday and end at 7 am on Saturday. That lack of routine (and sleep) is detrimental to someone’s mental and physical health. Since 2021, I have prioritized going to sleep at 9pm – and sleeping a FULL 8 hours. I don’t always get that (I do still work in TV and Film), but I adjust my schedule around my sleep vs the other way around.

Improving Intellectual Wellness
“The Intellectual Wellness Dimension involves many things that keep our brains active and our intellect expanding.”

I am known for being an avid learner. Every few months, it seems like I am getting a new certification. My favorite shows are often on the History channel or National Geographic. I genuinely enjoy learning.

Over the past couple of years, I have started to learn more about mental health and communication. In 2023, the Association of Mental Health Coordinators changed my life. They have a 3 part class that radically shifted my perspective on how I can connect with others and myself. It covered Building Safe Places, Care Culture & Policy, and Collaboration & Conflict.

Additionally, I start every day with a puzzle on the Elevate app before starting my morning physical workout. I find it to be like my mental exercise to keep my brain working in tip-top shape.

Improving Financial Wellness
“There are many definitions of what constitutes being financially well, but overall, the Financial Wellness Dimension involves things such as income, debt, and savings, as well as a person’s understanding of financial processes and resources. A person’s satisfaction with their current financial situation and future prospects also comes into play.”

I spent my first 2.5 years in LA living out of my car. I stretched my dollar as much as I could during those times. I could have gotten a job at a chain coffee shop, but they would only offer minimum wage and 4 hour shifts. I knew I needed a better paying job and longer hours to make ends meet.

I started by lowering my financial liability. I ended subscriptions that were not a means to my ends. I found free parking near a 24 hour gym that allowed me to use the bathroom, shower, shave, and workout. It shared the parking lot with a grocery store for quick access to groceries (and a bathroom to not be so obvious as the gym), and there was a cheap storage unit down the street that I could store equipment. This was a big improvement from my original spot next to the fire station that was down the alley from a coffee shop open from 5 am – 10 pm.

For work, I took a loan out to join SAG-AFTRA. My payment was $120/month, but a day’s work as background was $140. I signed up for a calling service that booked me jobs for a small fee. Often these jobs would feed me nutritious food. I generally worked 5 days a week, and used that time to network with other departments until I was able to get my days into a Union IATSE crew position and quadrupled my income with better benefits.

After 3 months of saving up my money working as an IATSE crew member, I was able to find a rent control 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment for $1,500. Of course, I had a roommate to continue my lower financial liability.

I don’t think everyone’s financial solution is living out of their car, but it could be strategies like the debt snowball or saving 10% of your paycheck. I do think there is a bit of wisdom in this story. I once had to take apart half the inside of my car to replace a $50 part, but it would cost over $1,000 in labor. I decided to do it myself because I couldn’t afford the labor and needed my car to go to work. A man stopped me on the street and said, “You don’t know you can’t do it yet.” I think people are capable of more than they realize, and I think they can get by with less than they think.

I am now aware of resources I didn’t know existed before. If you are in the LA area, I recommend reaching out to Labor Community Services Los Angeles. They can help with food, shelter, and more.

Improving Environmental Wellness
“The Environmental Wellness Dimension involves being able to be safe and feel safe. This can include:
• Accessing clean air, food, and water;
• Preserving the areas where we live, learn, and work;
• Occupying pleasant, stimulating environments that support our well-being; and
• Promoting learning, contemplation, and relaxation in natural places and spaces.”

Nearly once a week, I plan some event outside in a park near my apartment. Spending an afternoon outside can do wonders for your mental health – or cranky personality. Anytime my partner or I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, we joke about how we need to “touch grass” or go for a walk.

Getting out in nature, breathing in fresh air, and engaging in the natural world around is quite literally a breath of fresh air, but so is cleaning. Going through clutter, doing chores around the home, or taking a moment to sort through the mail that’s been sitting on the table are all ways in which we can take care ourselves while taking care of the environment around us.

Improving Spiritual Wellness
“The Spiritual Wellness Dimension is a broad concept that represents one’s personal beliefs and values and involves having meaning, purpose, and a sense of balance and peace. It includes:
• Recognizing our search for meaning and purpose in human existence; and
• Developing an appreciation for life and the natural forces that exist in the universe.”

In late 2019, my workaholism was at an all time high, but I was not taking my addiction seriously yet. I went on a vacation to visit my long distance partner. Instead of visiting with them, I spent the entire time doing emails on my phone. Shortly after I returned home, my grandfather died. Instead of acknowledging my feelings while at the funeral, I chose to take phone calls and reply to work texts. My partner shortly broke up with me afterwards. I was an emotional wreck, and felt the only thing I could do to avoid the pain was by working. That following Wednesday was my first meeting at Workaholics Anonymous.

There is something powerful about being seen by your peers, by those who have been through it just like you. WA helped me consider the meaning of a higher power, the reason for doing what we do. When I am lost or don’t know what to do, I think about my higher power and the lessons that have been shared with me by my peers. Sometimes just visualizing what I want to do and who I want to be and WHY is enough to get me through the next steps. It’s in this way that I take care of myself.

My greatest highest power has been my relationship with my partner Charlene. We have been together for over 5 years, and I swear that her love is healing. I have grown so much as a person and as a partner wanting to be the best I can be for her and our relationship.

Improving Social Wellness
“The Social Wellness Dimension involves having healthy relationships with friends, family, and the community, and having an interest in and concern for the needs of others and humankind”

I moved to LA not really knowing anyone. I did not have a community around me. Unfortunately, I have found that LA can be a lonely place; it can be hard finding community because it isn’t a community focused city like where I am from, Dallas.

A great way to make community is finding an organization that participates in a shared interest of yours. I have a passion for hiking and mental health, and over the summer a group called Humnkind Collective was formed. What started as a way to hike and talk about your feelings has grown into a hiking, writing, meditation, and art club. People are forming lasting connections every day while finding creative outlets to better care for themselves.

Improving Occupational Wellness
“The Occupational Wellness Dimension involves participating in activities that provide meaning and purpose and reflect personal values, interests, and beliefs, including employment.”

Have you ever thought about how much time we spend at work? On average, Americans spend over 90,000 hours at work. When we break down the time in our life, we spend:
38% of our time at work
32% asleep
10% doing household activities
6% eating and drinking
Do you know how much is left for fun? A whopping 14% for leisure and sports.

Needless to say that our work, while it may not be the most valuable part of our life, is the most time consuming portion of it. It’s important that we find our work fulfilling.

When I think back through my work history, the most fulfilling roles have always been the jobs that have 1 or more of the following:
Provides a service to others
Has flexible hours
Pays enough for my lifestyle
Has decent benefits

I have worked as a Community Organizer, an EMT, a Set Medic, Intimacy Coordinator, Mental Health Coordinator, and now a Peer Support Specialist, and have found all the work to be rewarding and worthwhile. The common thread through all of them is that they are all roles that require caring for individuals, oftentimes in their most vulnerable state.

While I don’t fully agree with the ol’ adage of “Find a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life,” I can without a doubt say, “If you find a job you love, it makes working worth it.”

We owe to ourselves as a measure of self care to find a job or volunteer opportunity that is meaningful, even if it is a means to an end.

Improving Emotional Wellness
“The Emotional Wellness Dimension involves the ability to express feelings, adjust to emotional challenges, cope with life’s stressors, and enjoy life. It includes knowing our strengths as well as what we want to get better at, and living and working on our own but letting others help us from time to time.”

Before I started my recovery journey, I was known for not caring about emotions. I often would bottle everything inside until I lashed out in anger and destruction. I did not grow up in a home that displayed healthy displays of emotions, and I often felt unsafe expressing my feelings.

In 2020, and then again in 2021, my loved ones encouraged me to seek therapy. I knew if I wanted to maintain a healthy relationship with them, I would need to do the work to become emotionally intelligent.

When I started going to therapy, I said that I will only do it over the phone, not even facetime. I made clear that I needed someone who can deal with last minute schedule changes due to my work, and that I will need to be able to multitask while I was in therapy. WOW! Was I a great patient or what?

After 3 years of therapy, I have really come to prioritize my therapy sessions because I recognize how important they are for my selfcare. It’s still primarily over the phone, but I now prefer walking over working during my therapy sessions to help me process my sessions.

Therapy isn’t accessible to everyone, but there are wonderful programs helping to bridge the gap like Open Path Collective. There are also apps like Ahead to help navigate difficult emotions, and there are a variety of support groups to help people learn to cope with feelings. It takes time to heal, so please be patient with yourself if you are just starting this journey.

Balance
At the end of the day, the thing that has contributed most to my mental health and wellness is balance. There are seasons in our life when one or more of these dimensions will need to take a higher priority. Even when a dimension is demanding more of us, it’s important that we maintain balance to avoid burnout.

Take it from someone who has made their addiction burning out, it’s never worth the cost. Remember to take care of yourself.

When you do, your mental health and quality of life will improve.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I work primarily in a care capacity for TV and Film. I work as an Intimacy Coordinator for scenes related to nudity, simulated sex, and hyper-exposure. I also work as IATSE Local 80 Set Medic, where I work as a standby EMT in the event of an occupational injury. Lastly, I work as Mental Health Coordinator, facilitating safe, accurate, sensitive portrayal of mental illness while incorporating safeguards for cast and crew’s mental wellness.

My passion right now is advocating for workers’ rights and wellbeing. I am a full-time student at LATTC getting my associates in Labor Studies. Over the past 2 years, I have been serving on a leadership team to Unionize Intimacy Coordinators, where we recently got a 100% approval vote to join SAG-AFTRA. I serve on a number of committees improving gender equality and wellness for workers. Additionally, I serve as Treasurer and Executive Board Member of the Association of Mental Health Coordinators and the Advisory Board Member of Women in Media. When I am not serving my Unions, I serve my communities by doing meet ups and educational workshops to promote relationship-building and skill development.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Learn to be Uncomfortable
When stretching, have you ever heard that it should be uncomfortable, but not painful? The moment we push past the feeling of familiarity, we begin to experience discomfort. How we respond to discomfort will determine our growth. We can never grow if we stay in a place that is familiar to us. There is a fine line though. If we push too far, we can actually do damage to ourselves.

Learning to be uncomfortable means having the courage to continuously challenge yourself in new ways while also taking self inventory of knowing when to stop. You can increase your tolerance for discomfort by assessing what accessibility needs you might have when approaching difficult situations.

For instance, if I wanted to do a 5 mile run, I am probably gonna be uncomfortable, but it may become painful if I don’t take care of myself. I can tend to my accessibility needs by doing a good stretch, staying hydrated, and getting the needed nutrients for the run. I may even consider taking rest breaks. While the goal may be to run 5 miles, there is no shame in taking a moment to pause and rest before continuing towards the goal. I would rather tend to my needs than be harmed in the pursuit of my goal.

Consider what your 5 mile run is. What makes you uncomfortable? Is there a dimension from before that you think needs more attention? What uncomfortable goal can you make for yourself to improve that dimension? What needs do you have in pursuit of this goal? How will you know when you need to stop? Being specific when answering these questions will better prepare for success and a worthwhile experience.

Learn to Say, “No.”
When I was in middle school, I had this neighbor that gave me some sage advice. He said, “Cutter, you got a lot on your plate. I don’t know how you keep up with it all. Have you ever considered just focusing on one thing, and just doing that one thing? You could accomplish so much more and go so much farther if you focused your energy on that one thing.”

I laughed and said, “Nah. I like variety. I would rather just pile it all on as if it was a Thanksgiving feast. I’ll eventually get through it, and probably go back for seconds.”

That was my workaholism talking. I didn’t even know it yet, but my behavioral addiction was already forming, and people could see the impact it was having on my life. We cannot, and should not, be everything to everyone. We live in such a vast, beautiful world that we will never be able to fully explore or experience, not even close. There will always be something else to do.

I have to keep this perspective when I am feeling pressure to say yes. As if I will never get another opportunity or that saying no will somehow reflect negatively on me or just the general FOMO (fear of missing out). There will always be another opportunity; it may not be the same one, but there will be another, maybe even better. Saying no BEFORE you reach capacity is doing a kindness to yourself and others. When we overextend ourselves, we risk harming ourselves or others in the process (SEE: Learning to be Uncomfortable above). You want to leave some room in your tank in case something doesn’t go according to plan (because it won’t) or in case an emergency happens (it probably will). And as much as I hate FOMO, learning to care for yourself by saying no will allow you to be more present and healthy when you do say yes.

This is an easier said than done kind of lesson. Just practice saying no to things, and see how it feels. If it’s uncomfortable, explore why. If it’s painful, take some self-inventory and see what could have been different, and try again.

Lastly, no is a complete sentence. You do not have to explain why or offer an alternative unless you want to.

Learn to Accept Help From Others
Have you ever heard of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps? I grew up hearing this ALL THE TIME, and people continuously compliment me for being perceived to have this kind of mentality. Do you know the history of the saying? It was intended to be an oxymoron. You can’t pull yourself up by your bootstrap; it’s literally impossible! You can’t pull yourself up by your bootstrap while you are pushing down inside the boot with your foot! You know what else is impossible? Doing everything by yourself. Whether you acknowledge it or not, you need the assistance of others to achieve any goal.

I love playing board games. One of my favorites is Catan. If you have ever played Catan, then you know that it is impossible to win the game without the assistance of your opponents. You need to barter and trade throughout the game to get a better position, and the game requires you to trade something for something else in real time – no promises. It is an interesting concept in comparison to most other games because you aren’t necessarily trying to hurt your opponent, you are trying to run your own race while accepting help from another. Generally speaking, those that are more giving will get more help from others and often win the game.

I am not saying that your loved ones, your neighbor, or even a stranger is your opponent in a game. What I am suggesting is that you will go farther, quicker when there is a symbiotic relationship of helping others around you. The more you give, the more you gain. Community support is one of the most powerful tools we have as people to achieve our goals and improve our wellbeing.

Have you ever tried to lift yourself by your own bootstrap? I have. The bootstrap broke under pressure. I found the easiest way to get lifted up was asking my friends to lend a hand.

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

I sleep. Deadass, I sleep.

When I get stressed? Sleep.
When I am mad? Sleep… sometimes shower.
When I am sad? Sleep.
When I am tired? Definitely, sleep.

That may not be the best solution for everyone, so I want to offer this instead. It’s called a Glimmer.

You’ve probably heard of a Trigger, something that when it happens or someone is exposed to it, it puts them in a negative state of mind. WELL! A Glimmer is the opposite. It puts you in a positive state of mind.

At AMHC, we like to use the acronym TIPS. Here are a few “tips” on how to use TIPS!

T: Temperature change:
* Hold cold water in your mouth for 30 seconds
* Ice compress on neck or wrists
* Hot pack on kidneys/lower back

I: Intense Exercise
* Dance break
* Take a walk & listen to music
* Pushups against a wall

P: Paced Breath
* 3 deep breaths
* Blowing bubbles
* Squeeze a stress ball to a breath pattern

S: Sensation Change (and awareness)
* 5 senses exercise by naming – 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste
* Lie down and feel your whole spine
* Playing with playdough or magnetic rocks

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