We recently connected with Cynthia Frenette and have shared our conversation below.
Cynthia, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
I think for me, it’s a combination of things.
I was bullied relentlessly throughout school, and then as an adult.
I grew up in an unsafe, chaotic household of severe alcoholism and neglectful abuse, which carried on throughout my life into adulthood.
My one saving thing was my art.
I could have easily gone down a bad path like so many do, following unhealthy footsteps of addiction and abuse but I didn’t.
I truly believe art saved me.
I always knew that art was my thing, and I think by sticking with it, it helped me when things were really bad at home or at school, and made me feel safe again.
Whenever I felt bad, I would draw in my sketchbook. And that became my therapy I guess, which led to me being resilient in the face of it all.
I always knew I’d be an artist as my career, and here I am, actually doing it & supporting myself & my little family with it.
It’s not always easy, but I always kept the faith that art would show me the way & it did.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
It’s so hard to talk about yourself, lol, but here goes.
I’m a lifelong artist. I started my career in graphic design and worked in that industry for over 30 years, in various print shops, studios and agencies, as well as a freelance designer for my own clients. I’ve had the honour of working with some fabulous people and businesses over the years!
I still do some design work for my favourite long-term clients and some new ones too, who resonate with my work & my style.
I was approached by a licensing art agent in 2017 and signed with her. Licensing is a long game and takes a while to get rolling, so all the while I’ve done my own art as well.
I sell my work on print-on-demand sites like Spoonflower, Society 6, Red Bubble, and am adding a few more to the list as well. I also sell my original art, via Instagram & my website.
I always say it’s like throwing spaghetti at the wall & seeing what sticks, and no one path or “formula” works for every artist, each person’s route is very different.
I have a bit of a following for my work now, and regular customers, which is soooo great! The thrill and honour of people buying my originals, and seeing my work on products like jigsaw puzzles, greeting cards, and housewares never gets old. So I’ll keep doing that as long as I can!
Going forward, my sights are also on illustrating more books. Over the years I’ve illustrated 5 childrens books, a few craft books for teens, and a “life hacks” series for teen girls, amongst others.
I’ve always felt different, and have some stories brewing I’d love to illustrate & write of my own, about kids who are different in some way, and who make the most of their super powers to help themselves and others too.
I don’t want to spill all the beans, but that’s just one big thing I’ve always planned to do so I’m putting it out there and will start on that this coming year (if not before), & promise to share about it on my Instagram & Substack as it happens if you’re interested in finding out more.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Be kind.
There’s nothing worse than working with someone who has a bad or precious attitude. Just be nice to work with (even if you’re yelling swear words in your head lol), be kind to other people, & you’ll go far.
Not a doormat tho, there’s a difference.
Go the extra mile, be kind to your clients, and they’ll notice a million times over.
“Shut up and listen.” – advice from my college instructor to our design class upon graduation, 1991
Those of us who’ve been in the field for a long time do actually know what we’re talking about and are glad to share our knowledge.
We might be older but we know the good shit!
Pay attention, and don’t try to talk over anyone or think you know better. Even if you do know a better way to do something, there’s always something to be learned in the details.
Learn your trade/job/skill from the ground up & keep learning.
Nobody knows it all and being a continuous learner is a huge skill and asset. Being open to learn new things, new skills, or different ways of doing things, is massive and will help you get ahead of the rest.
Be humble and accept that you need to do the grunt work to learn the skills you’ll need further on. See it as a challenge, not a problem, and do it the best you can. You’ll be noticed.
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
My parents were extremely wrapped up in the dysfunction of a severe alcoholic/enabler lifestyle.
Growing up and into adulthood their dysfunction just got worse and worse. They chose me as the scapegoat early on, and I was never loved or even welcome, just a faceless trashcan they never made the effort to even get to know, let alone love. Someone to take the blame, to shame, to accuse, point the finger at, to deflect away from the real problems.
The most impactful thing they did for me was to write me out completely of the “family” when I finally woke up to their abuse and started asking questions.
It wasn’t fun to deal with, obviously, but in the end, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I went no contact with them and never looked back.
I finally saw them for who & what they are, once you see it, you can’t unsee it. I now see it as saving myself and very liberating.
If they hadn’t done what they did, I would still be stuck back where I was, playing small, taking their abuse & pretending it was normal, wondering why I wasn’t getting anywhere in anything I did. It definitely was not normal, not even close.
I look back at the person I was back then, & I was sad and depressed, and didn’t know who I was or what I wanted, other than to survive. I was an endless people pleaser, trying to fit in with anyone who would take me, taking their table scraps in hopes they’d like me, & instead getting used & abused & then discarded in the process. Over and over. A pattern that ties back to the family of origin I grew up in & being their scapegoat & garbage can.
I am now free and just live my life without worrying about who will say what, who will insult or tease me, make fun of me, or say awful things about me behind my back or even to my face. And I honestly don’t care!
My life now is a million times better than before and I will never go back, not ever.
So they gave me the gift of life, after death, so to speak, in that the old me & that life had to die in order to find the real me. Everything I knew taken & stripped away & starting over from the ground up.
I’m now thriving and happy, at peace, my career is taking off, and they’d hate all that. Haha!
I know no contact is not for everyone but for me, it was a lifesaver and game changer in every way. And by my parents doing what they did, they gave me freedom and a whole new life I am very proud to say is all mine. They expected me to fall apart & go crying back to them & take their abuse as I always did, and I didn’t. I stood up, dropped the pieces on the ground, and walked away once and for all. Best thing I ever did.
So I thank them for that indirect & valuable gift.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://cynthiafrenette.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cynthiafrenette/?hl=en
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CynthiaF.Artist
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