Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Daisy Montgomery. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Daisy, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.
Many people struggle with Imposter Syndrome, but especially marginalized groups. As a woman and autistic ADHDer, I was gaslit a lot about who I am and what I am capable of. Most autistics are told that we are stupid or incapable because of the nature of our disability, and even though I was in my twenties whenever I was diagnosed, I heard a lot of those messages growing up. Sadly, for a long time, I believed those messages. I thought maybe success was meant for other people, but not for me.
It took some devastating events in my life, like losing my son Jasper to stillbirth, and my living son being a victim of a crime due to being autistic, to make me realize that I have only one life – and it’s up to me to decide what I want to do with it. Do I want to be afraid that I’m not good enough, or do I want to be the example for my sons that they deserve? My sons, and other autistics, needed an advocate to educate about autism (and stillbirth), and so I decided that I would be that person. Who else would do it on behalf of my family?
It is hard putting yourself out there. It’s extremely vulnerable, and I still struggle with Imposter Syndrome frequently, but I keep my family and my mission in mind, and it helps me get through those feelings.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Autistics Anonymous has always had the vision of creating inclusive environments and opportunities for autistics, for both children and adults. There are so many harmful stereotypes that still persist about autism, and it’s important for me to bring humanity to a disability that causes so much fear in people.
I get immense satisfaction from seeing audience members who may have misconceptions about autism transform into more understanding and empathetic allies. You can feel the shift in energy, like minds are opening up. I don’t blame people for not knowing a lot about autism if they’re not living with it everyday, but I do love when someone approaches me after the fact and says, “Wow, you really changed my perspective on what autism is and feels like.”
I prioritize creating a safe environment so that people feel comfortable asking questions that they may feel they can’t ask in other settings. Even though I’ve received some quite outrageous questions around autism, I always appreciate the courage to ask, because that’s how we learn. Ask me the outrageous questions! I love it. I love educating with heart and humor.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
The three qualities that I think anyone can cultivate that I believe helped me on my journey are:
1. Persistence
2. Courage
3. A Sense of Humor
I have faced some devastating trials in my life. Sometimes I didn’t think I would survive those trials because they seemed to be insurmountable. As an autistic ADHDer, some aspects of these trials have been amplified in a way that non-autistic people may not experience.
I believe I was able, and continue to be able, to get through life’s trials by being persistent that these events are not the end of me, nor will they stop me from being the person, wife, mother, and advocate I want to be. It takes courage to keep getting back up and believing in a better tomorrow against today’s evidence, and it takes courage to put yourself outside of your comfort zone in order to grow or improve skills. A sense of humor has also helped because when life is dark and full of terrors, finding a sliver of humor can help you take the hard times in stride.
My advice to those early in their journey would be: the hard times don’t last forever, but neither do the good times. We all go through seasons of growth, and it’s up to us to decide who we want to be on the other side of each season. There is always something to be grateful for, even when you feel like you’re suffocating from loss or defeat. Believe you are tough, even if you don’t feel like you are. Trials show us what we are made of. So I ask – who do you believe yourself to be?
How would you spend the next decade if you somehow knew that it was your last?
Recently I lost a massive contract I had been working on for several months. When the news of it falling through reached me, I was beside myself. I questioned myself and my business. I sobbed. I felt depressed. I felt like I was a failure. Every entrepreneur goes through this, but at the time this particular contract fell through, it felt like the end of the world. How was I going to feed my family after banking so much on this contract?
I allowed myself some time to have a pity party, but then I got to work doing something immensely scary: asking for help.
Sometimes we feel all alone when we’re struggling, but often it takes a simple message to someone and suddenly you realize how many people care for you. Whenever I reached out to my network, I was received with such kindness. A few people told me stories where they lost big contracts, and others connected me with people who were looking for my services.
It seemed that almost overnight, the stress and fear I had was gone. I knew people had my back, even unexpected supporters came to lend aid. It reminded me that we as individuals cannot thrive alone, especially when we’re building a business. We need each other, and often we are not as alone as we sometimes feel.
All this to say – lean on your network and your friends and family when times are hard. It may feel like there’s no one in your corner, but as Mister Rodgers always said, “Look for the helpers.” They are there when we look for them.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.autisticsanonymousllc.com/
- Instagram: @autisticsanonymous
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/daisy-montgomery-mba-pmp-509868101/
Image Credits
Wild Bliss Photography of Fort Collins, CO
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