We recently connected with Dan Stanton and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Dan, thanks for sitting with us today to chat about topics that are relevant to so many. One of those topics is communication skills, because we live in an age where our ability to communicate effectively can be like a superpower. Can you share how you developed your ability to communicate well?
I struggled academically in high school in most subjects, but I always loved writing — there was something about it that made sense to me both creatively and logically, whether it was writing a story or an essay. When I was 18, I found myself at Minneapolis Community and Technical College and began working as an English tutor in the Writing Center. During this time, I dove deep into the levels of communication – both written and verbal: there were a wide variety of folks coming through the Center, many of whom had drastically different life experiences from me. On top of that, there was often a language barrier working with first-generation students: the first explanation of something wasn’t always the one that worked. Often, I had to try a second or third way of explaining a word or an idea I had taken as second nature. The tutor-tutee relationship helped me understand the vulnerability of the tutee for asking for help and the duty of the tutor to respect that vulnerability and to approach each session with sensitivity and care.
This resonated so deeply with me because now I was on the other side of the equation. In high school, I was always the one asking for help. Or, I was scared to ask for help, because I didn’t want to be vulnerable, or I had had negative experiences with educators not recognizing that vulnerability. Understanding both perspectives – the one seeking to understand & the one in a position to share understanding – really strengthened my ability to communicate. I was able to handle tough situations with patience and empathy, working with tutees to share in their stories. It was truly fulfilling.
This led to working in a variety of education settings: Riverside Plaza and Franklin Library Learning Centers working with folks studying to take citizenship tests & after school programs working with children grades kindergarten through eight. I’ve also worked for a decade in the food service industry, as well as the nonprofit sphere, alongside playing and recording music with bands and individuals. Though they exist in slightly different worlds, the through lines of patience, sensitivity and understanding remain constant, and these themes inform how I do everything I do.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
The more I continue, I realize I am a Learner. It fuels everything I do. It makes me take the long route (sometimes beautifully, sometimes frustratingly). It means I dive into the deep end, exploring complexity just to get to something simple. I write and record music. I paint. I go for walks. I listen to a favorite song for days. I sprint in a direction, only to pull it back and run in a different one, but with a new and informed understanding.
Over the past couple years I finished an album and released it on December 1, 2023, called Are You Gonna Wait?
This project took 29 years to make, and so many amazing people and memories contributed to make it possible.
Following a breakup in 2022, I moved down to Willis, Virginia to live in a cabin on some land that my sister and brother-in-law were living on at the base of the Buffalo Mountain. I packed my little Camry full of instruments and made the trek. It took some time to get used to the change, but eventually I was able to fully dive into the magic of that area: quiet morning walks with a cup of coffee and the two mountain dogs, Hopi and Taye Taye; laying in the afternoon sun that peaked through the window most days; (almost) daily wrestling matches with my then 4-year-old nephew, in addition to searching for traces of zombie slime in the woods keeping running counts of how many salamanders we could spot; waking up every morning to start a fire in the wood-burning stove, bundled up in layers waiting for its warmth; sharing home-cooked meals with my family; walking through the darkness to their house Wednesday nights to catch the newest episode of Survivor; driving an hour and a half to Christensburg to get donuts and a cup of coffee and eating them in the back of the grocery store parking lot watching the cars go by. The list could go on. It really occupied a special space in my time on this earth, and I’m forever grateful.
Even though my family was so close, this was a time of silence and solitude. It brought peace, but it also gave me time to process feelings I had pushed down for years. My mom passed away in 2009 when I was 15, and I spent years running. I didn’t cry, I didn’t talk about it – I just kept going. I got good at pushing feelings down, at avoiding, and it stemmed into all areas of my life. During this time in the cabin – and through the power of music, and family, and nature – I was able to unearth a feeling I wasn’t very family with (and one that I had never understood in any of my music or art prior): Hope.
To me, this music is love and loss, lightness and darkness, a step towards letting go, desperation, but also hope and a felt understanding that lightness will come.
Every song is mixed by Karl Remus and mastered by Alec Ness.
Cherith Nelson sings on Stay A While.
Cam Rylander plays drums on For It To Be True.
Chris Cunningham plays lead guitar on Every Mountain.
Ross Koberl plays pedal steel on Moving On.
Album artwork is by Sarah Dovolos, with original photos taken by Elena Stanton.
The album can be found on streaming services and at www.cowboyslang.online
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Community, Commitment and Openness:
I’ve been fortunate to have creative, inspirational people coming in and out of my life at various stages of my journey. Sharing in inspiration and joy, and staying open, make it easier to enjoy the scenery as you wake up every day and climb the mountain. Having people in your life that support you and will be real with you is everything — and helps make it fun! Commitment is important, because it’s all we have. You either commit to being there and present for the process or you don’t. If you show up but don’t commit, you’re wasting everyone’s and your time. If you do commit, you get to learn, and experience, and grow. For me, sometimes the battle is figuring out what process I can commit to waking up every day and doing with the least amount of resistance. You’re climbing a mountain that has no top, so you might as well climb the mountain that you chose because it looked beautiful to you.
What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?
Often, I struggle with accepting the feeling of patience in my body. I can feel sped up, wanting things to happen faster. Over time, I’ve learned that embracing how long something might take is extremely powerful! In fact, I actually enjoy the process of seeing what something might or might not be more than gazing at the end result. Ultimately, I’m developing my understanding of fulfillment versus outcome/product, learning that patience is sustaining, and a patience life is one that I’m excited to wake up tomorrow for.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.cowboyslang.online
- Instagram: instagram/cowboyslang
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqNcDW0M2rQ
- Other: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6FA3V1EQ4hI6ToxzZhiCxI?si=rpQEm3UMQEWhtusyjaz6eA
Image Credits
Elena Stanton
