Meet Dani Driusso

 

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Dani Driusso. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Dani below.

Hi Dani, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?

My confidence truly came from slowly becoming more comfortable with the parts of me that were always labeled as ‘wrong’ or ‘inconvenient’. It wasn’t an overnight fix or a change in my physical appearance that made me all of a sudden have a higher self-esteem. Low self-confidence and self-esteem is built as a response to an environment, or experience. It doesn’t go away or improve in a moment. Thoughts and beliefs that cause lower self-esteem have to be broken down and rebuilt on a more stead foundation in order to be improved. It took me years to rebuild my image of myself on a clearer perspective, one that reflected a love for who I am. It started with “okay well maybe I’m not the worst” before it got to “okay maybe I’m pretty damn amazing!” or “I’m really proud of who I am and the qualities I lead with”.

When I was growing up I always felt like the black sheep of my family and like I didn’t quite fit in place with the world or people who surrounded me. I was always seen as ‘dramatic’ for feeling emotions deeply, or ‘too much’ for being loud and boisterous, and often bullied for taking up a little too much space with the curves of my body (as someone who has always been larger). It became clear that no matter where I went, I always stuck out in a crowd. I didn’t want the attention that came with that because it was often negative and made me feel like I was wrong for simply existing. I began to shrink my body, hold my tongue, try to distance myself to no longer seem too emotionally attached or affected by things. I started wearing things to fit in or be seen as similar to the people I saw getting the most positive validation around me. I tried everything in my power to avoid the conflict that felt inevitable if I showed who I was, even a little bit.

Fast forward to a moment where I had a moment where enough was enough. I was in my early 20’s and I made a decision that I was done pretending to be someone I wasn’t. From about 22 onward I began to unlearn things around my body that were solidified in my insecurities and began to look up to people who were owning their body regardless of size. I started to surround myself with friends who made me feel easy to love when I was the most myself and who I felt really valued my heart. I began to follow passions of mine with such vigor that the energy behind it was palpable. I began to share my heart in my relationships more and become more vulnerable. I also began to collect items in my wardrobe that made me feel *fabulous*. Every day I would flex my confidence muscle a little more and even when it felt like it backfired, I would be stronger for it, because it challenged me to trust how I wanted to express myself.

Now I’m 31 and I can say I’m the most secure in myself I’ve ever been! I am surrounded by people who absolutely love me for me. I am given opportunities in my career that I only used to dream about, but are offered to me because of who I am and what I bring to every room I walk into. I just wish I could go back in time and say “you’re not wrong or bad – you’re exactly who you need to be. Now own it”. In all honesty though, confidence isn’t given in a moment of a pep talk, it’s built overtime in every single moment you choose to be witnessed for exactly who you are. I had to cultivate it and I’m glad I experienced what I did to be able to stand here today, being so damn proud of who I am.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

In 2019 I wrote a book called Get Off Your A$$ and Into your Life, it was a choose-your-own-adventure book, geared towards self-help in a way that actually allowed yourself to experience your relationships to every aspect of your life. It came from years of “finding myself” and exploring what it meant for me to take up space in every moment of every day. I’m so honoured to work every day as an educator and speaker, sharing on topics of confidence and leadership from a compassionate lens. I’ve been lucky enough to keynote events like the Western Canadian Leadership Conference, or share my story on the stage in rooms like The Great Canadian Woman summit, and speak at Teachers Conventions across the province to help give educators the tools to build courageous learners at any age. Through the years I have developed my own leadership model that I’ve worked with both corporate and non-profits to implement in their spaces to create a more compassionate community culture. The I.C.O.N.I.C leadership model is one I built on the foundation of Integrity, Communication, Ownership, Nuance, Intention, Capacity & Consent. I’m lucky to work with the clients I do both large scale and privately to change the face of what it means to be a leader, from someone who leads with ‘look at me’ energy to someone who leads with ‘look what we can create together’.

I’ve also explored so many more creative outlets lately in both my personal and professional life, exploring different artistic medians I never thought I’d experience. Whether it’s painting, or singing, modelling or working with fellow performers, It’s been magical and has made me stronger in my own work. Often people would be surprised to know that I hold a BFA in Acting and actually did my internship with a children’s theatre company that I still instruct for 10 years later as a contractor. I also got my start with leadership work by serving on a board of a cooperative, mixed income housing complex for years. This is where I first began to learn about leadership in diverse communities, now I consult for boards just like it across the city. This experience in both the community and working with young people has shaped everything I bring to the table today as a professional. I love working with kids to help them cultivate a strong sense of confidence while building community based values, whether it’s through an after-school program or working inside the schools themselves. I also love continuing to train boards on how to create communities where individuals value each other and the nuance everyone brings to the table. I truly believe everyone has value and we can learn a lot by being bold enough to share the brilliance we bring to every space we enter.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

3 skills that I feel impacted my journey the most, in an immensely positive way, is my compassion, communication and vulnerability. Lately I have said to those closest to me, “I feel like I’ve skipped the line”, in terms of the opportunities granted to me in the past couple years. What I mean by that is, the things that have felt like they have fallen into my lap, have been things I’ve wanted for so long and they feel like they’re just happening. When I really look at my journey so far I know that I have been working for 10+ years for these opportunities. They didn’t fall out of thin air, they came from me cultivating relationships over the years, and in order to do that I’ve had to be vulnerable, honest and compassionate. When I’ve lead with those I feel as though people not only love to work with me because I’m human, but also trust me because that trust has been cultivated over years of me having nothing to prove or no one to impress. I’m just coming into environments with an open heart and willingness to not have to be perfect.

As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?

One of the most impactful books I ever read was “You Are A Badass” by Jen Sincero. I remember opening it up and being blown away by the fact that someone could be so smart, so witty, so honest, so bold, and still be hilarious. That and Mindy Kaling’s book “Is everyone hanging out without me, (and other concerns)”. These books weren’t necessarily impactful in the words that were written, even though I loved them dearly, but in the way these women chose to show up and be themselves. I just remember being in awe of them, and inspired to finally write my own book even though I wasn’t “a writer”. The book I wrote and ended up self-publishing, did over 250+ sales before it launched, in over 9 countries. So I was very proud of that because, technically, I was a nobody who had a lot to say and I’m still shocked people are continuing to buy years later!

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Rachel Antony (@almostffamous)

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