Meet Daniel Coonrod

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Daniel Coonrod. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Daniel, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?

Purpose is a funny thing. I think too often people get very specific with their purpose. They want to be the best at something, or they want to find or create something. They seek to do something that will leave a lasting legacy. I too wanted to be the best at something, I was in my 20’s when I realized I wanted to be the best at Table Top Roleplaying games. the newest entry in a lone line of things I knew that if I just applied myself to I would be the best. I had created a new Table-Top Roleplaying game, and had even gone to a convention to run it for others and the feedback was all pretty decent. I told my wife that “this was it!” I had finally found my thing.

Two weeks later, I would be in the hospital, recovering from a severe anaphylactic shock. Another discovery I made on the way to finding my purpose was my incredible allergy to Yellow Jacket Hornets. My wife, new born baby and grandmother had kicked up a ground nest of them, and I as a young man knew I had to take care of it. I found the nest and plugged the hole with a water hose. It was shortly after that I discovered that yellow jackets sometimes build two holes into their hive, incase lumbering giants arrive with a water hose pipe. The resulting swarm stung me over a dozen times. One even managing to sting me in my eye. Like the actual eyeball, in case you are wondering, yes it hurt, but not as much as you would expect. only 20 minutes later I would be driven to the hospital, violently shaking my head back and forth, it was the only way I could keep myself conscious. I lost consciousness at the nurse station, I remember the deep quiet, and peace, I remember one last sad thought. “man, I really didn’t want to die today.”.

It was on the way to being rushed to ICU I awoke and shouted “I’M BACK!” The nurse looked down at me and asked, where I had gone, I shouted back at her “I don’t know, but I’m back” I then lost consciousness again.

A few hours later I awoke, my tongue burst, my mouth and body a wreck from the swelling, The doctor sat with me, explained the long list of things I shouldn’t do any more, gave me an Epi-Pen and sent me home.

I was pretty glib about it to my friends and family, joking that “I died, but I got better”. I even jokingly told my boss that I had a “Killer Weekend”. I thought it was pretty clever. At home though, things were not great, I cried to my wife one night, telling her I had almost “slipped away” I couldn’t sleep, and anytime I had a tickle in my throat I desperately patted myself down for my Epi-Pen.

The biggest thing was this sense that I had lost my purpose, being the best at D&D seemed like it was so small, I had almost died, what would I leave for my wife, my daughter?

I knew what I had to do, I would pick myself up, and get a new job, I’d build a life that would be worth remembering I would leave something behind for my wife and daughter.

I would change everything.

Three years, 3 whole years I locked myself into a trap, I was looking for the “right thing”, “the Big thing” but everything felt so meaningless, I was still chugging along, but I wasn’t going anywhere, I had almost “thrown my life away” I had to do great things with the time I had been given back, I owed it my wife, my kid! the world!

I’m not sure how many of you have had experience with setting unrealistic and unfair expectations on yourself, but let me tell you what, they are heavy, I had been given time back, and I was so concerned that I would “mis-spend” it I hadn’t spent it living.

Don’t get me wrong, my life was good, I had a loving wife, an adorable daughter, a loving family, great friends, My life was good, and if you asked anyone at that time, I don’t think they would have listed me among the “driftless, and aimless”.

But I was.

I knew I wasn’t prepared, I had been presented with a bog moment in my life, and I had not been ready for it.

I finally started talking with my friends, telling them that I felt like I was spinning my wheels, that I had been, and never was prepared for anything.

It was their answers that woke me up.

They said the same, they felt adrift, they felt like they were always playing catch up, they were never ready. At first I just assumed it was my friend group, friend groups tend to build around shared experiences, so I expanded my search, spoke with others, and found this sense of “un-readiness” abounded.

I had assumed it was me, assumed that I had been tested and found wanting, and that the world was spinning on without me, but when I got my own head out of my butt long enough to draw a breath I found many people in my life were “un-prepared” and worse, now that I was talking about it, and what had happened, they had all assumed I had found some sort of wisdom in my experience, some sort of secret I had brought back and been keeping to myself!

there was something here, I knew it, something I needed figure out. So I started thinking again about my purpose, I threw away the idea that my purpose had to be connected to my career first. The Sunday afternoon sitting in my kitchen when I had this revelation was like taking a heavy old winter coat off, I felt like I could feel the wind again!

Next I thought about what purpose does? Why do we need it? I was speaking with a friend and he told me something that stuck with me hard, “in a hundred years, all that will matter is who you loved, and who loved you, no one will care about why they loved you, or why you loved them.”

That hit me like a bolt, I remember stammering, thanking them for the thought, and then leaving! I had to write this down, I had to think on it. I had to abandon the idea of Legacy. Legacy was a trap, a poison that kept us from living, and sat on our shoulders whispering “Memento Mori”

The last part was the tough part, without defining myself by my career, and without the idea of my own mortality hung around my neck, what exactly is it I do?

I had cut the fat, all that was left now was the thing I had been avoiding.

What was my purpose?

I was in my 30s now, I was really beginning life, My family was amazing, I had stability, I had found a profession I loved, but I was curious as to what my purpose was. I had built a dozen different version of it, all long winded and grandiose. I had tried the opposite tact, I I had tried the simple “I help people” and that felt right, but somehow it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t exactly true, I wanted to help people, but not with everything, I didn’t want to help them do their laundry, or move their furniture. No, I knew there was something more.

Finally it hit me, I was sitting at work, I was a corporate trainer, and someone in my class had failed, time and time again, he wasn’t going to cut it, I knew it, and he knew it. I had tried helping him, that was my purpose, at least as I thought of it. I was a helper.

He was the last person in the classroom, taking the test that would really decide if he passed or failed. The test that would decide he had a job tomorrow. I had seen people try very hard, and fail before, but he was different.

He looked up at me, knowing I was looking at him and said:

“Hey man, thanks a lot, pass or fail, this class was really great for me, I really appreciate the time and talks you’ve had with me.” Then he handed me his basic training challenge coin he had gotten as a marine. Told me that my time and advice made him feel ready for what ever came next.

I was stunned, I told him thank you, and put his challenge coin in my pocket (I didn’t until years later realize the significance of the coin, now I better understand how much he had valued our time.) I stayed with him until he finished the test.

He passed by the way, He wasn’t the best at his job, but I was proud of him none the less.

It was then I knew, I knew what my purpose was:

My name is Daniel, and I help people to be prepared for the big moments in their life.

Birth, Death, Marriage, Job, all of those are big moments, Too often we’re too overwhelmed to know what to do, to unsure of ourselves, so that’s where I help.

I often help the most with Job and career moments, that’s kind of where life has lead me, but I’ve spoken to friends, families, strangers on all of it.

I actually call it my “Core Motivator” now. It’s the Yes/No switch that sits at the heart of who I am.

Will this help me to help other be prepared for their big moment? If the answer is yes, I’m there, if it’s no, I’ll probably pass.

It took me a long time on a long road to discover my purpose, but the journey was worth it.

If you’re reading this I’d challenge you, what is you’re purpose? If you didn’t have to define yourself by your career, or worry about a legacy, what would you do? and why would you do it?

What is the Yes/No switch that lives inside of you?

If you know it! Great! tell others!

If you don’t know, reach out, Knowing who you are and why you do it is a big moment, I’m happy to help.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

My Name is Daniel Coonrod, I’m the Principal Consultant and Founder of the Learning Nerds, and co-founder, and co-host of the Fabulous Learning Nerds Podcast.
I help people to be prepared for the big moments in their life. A lot of times that means helping people with their profession. To focus on the big picture and to find their purpose.

I’ve recently finished writing a book with 2 other authors on how the business world can better utilize it’s talent, and because I’m a giant nerd I’m in playtesting for a TableTop Roleplaying game that we’re looking to publish early next year.

If you want to find more information about The learning Nerds you can find us and the podcast at www.TheLearningNerds.com

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Man! there are so many things, I don’t mean to be trite, but I would say there is only one. Optimism. True optimism takes work, it takes bigger picture thinking, and it takes courage. I could list of a dozen skills that have been really nice to have in my journey, that have helped me to get a job, or stay employed, to communicate with others, but at the core of all of them is optimism.

My advice to anyone reading this is to cultivate and pursue a sense of optimism, to turn away from the cult of dread.

I read something one time an article that interviewed people in their last days, in hospice care, and they asked them what they would tell to those who were younger, and one of the things they said was that they wished they knew before that they could decide how they felt about the things that happened to them in their lives.

That really struck home, we can decide to be optimistic.

I know it’s not that easy, these are words in a computer, written by someone you don’t know.

I don’t know your life, your struggles, the things that keep you up at night.

But.

I do know that we can decide to chase optimism. It doesn’t mean we’ll always catch it.

There are plenty of days and times when I have chased optimism and not caught it, but even the attempt is worthwhile.

But, I can tell you that you won’t ever catch it, if you don’t chase it.

A sense of hope and optimism have opened doors for me, made me brave enough to leap, and strong enough to carry. there is no single greater quality I can suggest to others.

What would you advise – going all in on your strengths or investing on areas where you aren’t as strong to be more well-rounded?

I actually want to talk about Strengths and weaknesses, but not about embracing strengths. I want to talk about embracing our flaws, our foibles, our weaknesses.
Too often we call them our Area’s of opportunities, or growth potential!
I would say if your flaws are not causing harm to others or yourself, embrace them!
I can’t tell you how often I’ve seen new professionals polish themselves down into marbles, no rough edges, all of the cool stuff on the inside, while leaders become known and defined by their weaknesses!

I’ve met too many young people who are quiet and brilliant, told by their businesses to learn to speak up more, learn to be more social! Don’t be so weird! By the time that person has squeezed themselves down into the mold of their business, they have built a mask that lets them be like everyone else.

In my career, I had picked up the odd habit of wearing cowboy boots,

-as a quick aside, I found that the slight heel pushed my center of balance forward just enough that if I was on my feet training all day, my feet hurt less!

I was pretty well known in my office for it, and the distinctive sound of my walk was remarked on quite a few times.

In a end of year review with my boss at the time they asked me why I wore “those boots” all the time? It was strange, and it was something that other leaders had remarked to them as strange.

if I wanted to grow and seek promotion I’d have to be more aware of my presence. So I took the bait, and stopped wearing my boots, I focused on regular button up shirts and regular slacks, with regular shoes.

Surprise, no promotion came that next year from fitting in. In fact it was my flaws, the things that the business was consistently trying to polish away that would get me promoted.

You developed your flaws and strengths for a reason, you should seek to grow and develop, every day!
But don’t turn yourself into a marble to get there, embrace your weaknesses, enjoy being human.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.thelearningnerds.com
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/daniel-coonrod-565461123/