We were lucky to catch up with David Hellard recently and have shared our conversation below.
David, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
Reclaiming Self-Worth: Letting Go of Others’ Expectations
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” While this quote is inspiring, it’s far easier to admire than to embody, especially when your self-worth feels tied to the opinions and expectations of others.
For much of my life, I struggled with my sense of confidence. My self-esteem was completely tethered to how others perceived me. If I felt that I had failed to meet someone’s standards, I internalized that as my own failing, convinced there was something fundamentally wrong with me that needed changing. The potential triggers for this shame were endless—my clothes, my taste in music or movies, the food I ate, and, most painfully, my physical appearance.
These insecurities, so familiar to many teenagers, clung to me well beyond adolescence. They followed me through my 20s and even into my 30s. The ever-present question of, “Why can’t I just be better?” echoed through my life, creating an impossible standard I felt could never be achieved. This mindset affected my relationships as well. I constantly feared that I wasn’t “good enough” to truly belong, leaving me feeling disconnected and isolated.
The Turning Point
My journey toward self-acceptance began somewhat surprisingly and humorously. Reflecting on my friendships, I noticed an interesting yet frustrating pattern. My male friends seemed to form distinct groups, each defined by different hobbies and interests. One group would be into football, another only cared about baseball, and yet another wasn’t interested in sports at all. When we went out as a group, some friends wanted to shoot pool while the others would be super competitive about darts or foosball. The worst case scenario for me was when I felt like I was tricked into going to bars we used to call “meat markets.” Sure I was interested in meeting women, but those places just weren’t for me. I would spend most of the time by myself wondering if anyone would notice if I just left.
Trying to keep up with these diverse preferences was exhausting. I never knew enough about any one sport to engage in an in-depth conversation about it, nor was I skilled enough at activities golf or bar games like pool to feel happy while doing them. Instead, I found myself stretched thin from reshaping myself to fit into molds that weren’t of my choosing.
One day it occurred to me: Why am I trying so hard to fit into these molds in the first place? Why wasn’t it enough for me to enjoy the things I loved—whether or not they met anyone else’s expectations? Why did I believe that my happiness was somehow going to come from validation from some external source? Realizing this, then starting to live that concept, was when things started changing. I began to understand that self-worth isn’t something you find externally; it’s something you cultivate within.
For the first time, I gave myself permission to embrace my interests unapologetically, even if they didn’t fit neatly into the preferences of the groups around me. And in doing so, I started reclaiming my sense of self.
The Ongoing Journey
This shift in perspective didn’t happen overnight, nor is it something I’ve completely perfected. Letting go of the need for external validation is a process, one that requires constant mindfulness and compassion for yourself. But I can confidently say this: today, I wake up feeling far less burdened by others’ perceptions of me. Instead, I focus on living authentically, finding joy in what resonates with me, and nurturing my own sense of worth.
Part of this journey involved learning to let go of toxic relationships. For years, I held onto connections out of a sense of obligation or cultural conditioning, even when they drained my emotional well-being. Purposefully stepping away from those relationships was painful at first, but ultimately freeing. Removing toxicity from my life was the gift I didn’t realize I desperately needed. I think some of that feeling like I needed to conform came from growing up in a small town, where memories ran deep and people want to place you into a labeled, easily-identifiable box. Moving away from your hometown is truly one of the greatest life-hacks ever.
To my surprise, as I changed, others took notice. Without the constant weight of self-doubt holding me back, I became more pleasant to be around and more importantly, more generous in allowing others to be who they are. I found it easier to make new friends and deepen the connections I already had. It turned out that, by letting go of my need to “fit in,” I found my place naturally. Yes, some old friendships were left behind on the road to my new life, but to be honest, it feels more like a weight being lifted than a sense of loss.
The Most Important Relationship
At the heart of it all is a truth that I wish I had understood sooner: the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. When you honor and nurture that relationship, the opinions of others lose their ability to define you.
Embracing your true self is not about isolating yourself or rejecting others—it’s about showing up as the person you are, unapologetically. It’s about releasing the pressure to fit into others’ expectations and realizing that your worth is inherent, not conditional.
Confidence and self-esteem are not destinations; they’re journies, but with every small step toward authenticity, you reclaim a piece of yourself. That, I’ve learned, is where true self-worth begins.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Exploring Passion Through the Lens: A Journey in Photography and Digital Art
I like to say I’m “quasi-retired” from a career in health sciences research, but truthfully, the last five years have been about chasing a lifelong dream. I’ve dedicated myself to hiking, photography, and digital art—three of my life-long passions. While I suspect I may need to return to a full-time career before fully retiring, I’m embracing this chapter as a chance to live the dream I’ve carried with me since childhood.
My love for photography began in fourth grade. I brought a camera on a school field trip to the local Audubon Farm & Center, determined to get the “perfect shot” of chickens, goats, cows…whatever I could find! From that moment, a camera became my almost constant companion. Over time my enthusiasm for photography grew and started to blend naturally with my love for hiking. Unhappy with many of my early attempts to capture the beauty of nation, I began studying the art of landscape photography in earnest.
Back then, it was all about film but as a college student, I lacked the resources to sustain the hobby and photography took a back seat for many years. Ironically, my professional life brought it back into focus. My work required me to learn digital tools like Corel Photo Paint & Draw, and later Adobe Photoshop. Developing these new skills renewed my interest in my old photos. Could I make my photography better? I started restoring old photographs, manipulating images, and adding artistic flair to vacation snapshots and found a real passion for the work.
The real turning point came when digital photography arrived. My wife brought home a Canon Digital Rebel as a door prize from her company’s Christmas party, and that was all it took. The interest in taking photos was revived and I found myself combining everything I loved—hiking, photography, and digital art—into one creative outlet.
Today, my photography is distinctly stylized. I’m unapologetic about using tools like Photoshop and other programs to bring my vision to life. Whether I’m capturing a tree, a flower, or the Milky Way galaxy, my goal is to create images that reflect not just what I see but what I feel in the moment.
On social media, especially Instagram, it’s easy to notice how many artists cultivate a signature style or aesthetic. For a time, I tried to do the same, thinking it might lead to greater success. For example, when I posted primarily black-and-white photography, I gained followers interested in that genre, but when I shifted styles, I noticed many of those same followers disengaged or unfollowed me altogether.
While I felt I really should “define” myself as an artist to chase after some vague notion of online success, I realized I’m completely unable to limit myself to just one style or subject. My interests are far too varied. Sure, I enjoy diving deeply into specific genres—like astrophotography, for instance—but sticking exclusively to one form of expression would feel stifling to me. Photography for me is about exploration, and I find joy in pursuing a wide range of styles and techniques.
My work spans landscape photography, astrophotography, macro photography, street and urban exploration, industrial grunge, architecture, intentional camera movement, long-exposure and blurred-figure photography, and digital art. I’ve even dabbled in AI-based art, though I’ve stepped back from it due to ongoing controversies in the art community.
One project I’ve been experimenting with is called “Signals from Space.” It’s an attempt to visually represent how I experience the world through extreme my visual and auditory pareidolia. Essentially, I’m attempting to capture the shapes and forms I see in nature—like a tree or a pile of rocks that resembles a bear or a face. I’m also fascinated by how random patterns in nature can appear to be a form of communication, like ripples in a stream looking like output from an oscilloscope. It’s still a work in progress, as not everyone can see what I see, but it’s a creative challenge I’m deeply passionate about.
While I’m not currently doing any print exhibitions, I sell some of my work as digital downloads on Etsy and have created prints for friends. Someday, I’d love to see my work featured in a gallery, but I haven’t yet taken that leap—perhaps out of a lingering fear of rejection?
What I hope people take away from my work and my journey is the freedom to explore and create without boundaries. Whether it’s photography, art, or any other form of expression, the joy comes from embracing what inspires you and following that path, wherever it leads.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
1. Surround Yourself with Creatives
There’s something powerful about the company of fellow creatives. Having close friendships with artists, illustrators, poets, writers, and photographers has given me inspiration and—perhaps more importantly—permission to explore my own creative outlets. Seeing others immersed in their craft made it easier for me to embrace mine. It gives me “permission” so to speak, to wander off the road to conformity and explore a more interesting and personal path.
I’ve had many moments when I’ve excitedly shared my work with someone, only to receive a lukewarm response such as “Oh yeah, a tree. You um, really captured that tree. Yep.” I’ve come to realize not everyone sees the world the way artists do. Some people simply don’t connect with photography unless it’s a photo of a family member or a memory they want to preserve, but within a creative circle, the response is different. Other artists see beyond the subject; they see technique, emotion, vision, and hopefully, experience something viscerally.
Having a support network of artists working across different mediums has been invaluable. We exchange ideas, challenge each other, and offer insights that push our work forward in unexpected ways. If you’re serious about creative growth, seek out a community that encourages experimentation and innovation. I’ve had a lot of success meeting other creatives using Meetup to participate in photography events around town.
2. Embrace Failure—Fail Early and Often
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that failure isn’t a stop sign—it’s a stepping stone. Too often, people see a misstep as a signal to quit, when in reality, it’s an opportunity to improve.
Take photography, for example. Studio lighting is notoriously tricky. In the beginning, I spent countless hours adjusting lights, tweaking angles, and experimenting—only to produce images that weren’t quite right. It was frustrating, and there were moments I questioned whether I was even cut out for it, but with each failed attempt, I realized I could learn something new ONLY IF I didn’t let failure defeat me.
Instead of being discouraged, I started analyzing my mistakes. If a shot doesn’t turn out the way I envisioned, I ask myself:
• Why is this not working?
• What specific element is off—focus, composition, exposure?
• What steps can I take to improve next time?
Think of it like learning an instrument—no one expects to pick up a flute and play a perfect melody on the first try. Even getting one solid note out of wind instrument can be a challenge! Apply that logic to other endeavors. The more you practice, experiment, and refine, the more your skills develop.
I highly recommend the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig. In particular, the sections in which he discusses “Gumption Traps” is extremely useful in helping you learn how to avoid letting small setbacks deflate your enthusiasm and understanding that most things worth doing take time. Creating, learning, and growing are parts of a journey and every individual’s pathway there is different.
3. Learn to Critique Yourself Effectively
One of the hardest but most important skills an artist can develop is the ability to critique their own work.
Giving and receiving constructive criticism is an art in itself. Oftentimes feedback is unhelpful, vague, or overly subjective; everything BUT constructive. Others may project their own artistic preferences onto your work, suggesting changes that make your piece resemble something they’ve seen before rather than helping you strengthen your own unique style. You can easily identify these as they always sound like “Oh this looks a lot like this other person’s work, you just need to do this to make it more like THAT.” For some reason I’ve gotten that comment a lot in my photographic journey.
These are just a few reasons why self-critique is so crucial. Instead of relying on external opinions, and let’s face it, we are all seeking validation rather than assistance, I’ve learned to analyze my work with a discerning eye. When something doesn’t quite click, perform your own forensic analysis of the work. The more you educate yourself about your craft, the more you will learn and the better able you will be to figure out what went wrong. Immerse yourself in the work of others. I’ve often found that seeking out others’ attempts to capture a scene helps inform me of what I may have done wrong. It can often be a simple thing as how high I had my tripod set or the length of the exposure.
That being said, it’s equally important to be open to outside feedback, particularly from trusted sources. Finding a group of people who offer constructive, unbiased critique can be invaluable. Look for communities, mentors, or even anonymous forums where honest and insightful discussions can help you grow. The simple act of sharing your work opens you up to receiving unsolicited critical commentary. You have to just accept that it’s going to happen. The tricks are: knowing how much “truth” exists within the comment; whether or not the comment comes from negativity or if you are receiving it in an negative manner; and not letting external sources derail you.
At the end of the day, creative growth is an ongoing process. Surround yourself with people who inspire you, embrace failure as a necessary part of learning, and sharpen your ability to assess your own work. Keep experimenting, keep refining, and most importantly, keep creating.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
Like many artists, I find myself caught in an ongoing struggle of trying to get my work seen on social media while battling “comparison anxiety” and the ever-present fear of missing out (FOMO). While online platforms offer opportunities for visibility, they can also create a cycle of frustration, self-doubt, and an endless search for validation.
If I were more ambitious, perhaps I’d focus on gallery exhibitions or art shows; spaces where people could experience my photos as large prints rather than fleeting images on a phone screen. Instead, like so many creatives, I’ve fallen into the pattern of chasing “likes” and algorithmic approval.
Despite watching countless YouTube tutorials and experimenting with every engagement strategy imaginable, I’ve yet to crack the elusive social media “code.” No matter how much effort I put into optimizing my posts, the Algorithm, capitalized as I imagine it as this entity I am somehow doing battle with, evades me.
The cycle is all too familiar: I pour hours into perfecting a photograph, meticulously refining each detail in post-production until it’s exactly as I envisioned. Excitedly, I share it online only to receive a handful of likes and minimal engagement. It’s disheartening.
Worse still was the period when I actively tried to build a community by engaging with others, believing that reciprocity would lead to greater support. Instead, I found myself in a one-sided effort, constantly boosting others’ work while receiving little in return.
At some point, I realized that investing too much energy into this artificial world wasn’t healthy. I still post, but I’m actively working on emotionally detaching from the numbers. My self-worth and the value of my art shouldn’t be dictated by electrons dancing on the screen of a mobile phone. It’s a difficult mindset shift, but for me a necessary one.
Thankfully, a virtual heart-to-heart with a fellow creative helped me reshape my approach. Their tough love came with two extremely useful pieces of advice:
1. Stop the self-deprecating captions.
No one knows (or cares) if one of my photos doesn’t meet my own standards. By prefacing my work with disclaimers like “This isn’t my best, but…”, I was unintentionally influencing how people viewed it. Let the audience form their own opinions—without me diminishing my own work.
2. Avoid negativity.
The internet can be brutal, and like many I fell into the trap of responding to negative comments. Engaging with toxicity only alienates those who genuinely appreciate the work and you’ll never truly “win” an engagement with your detractor. Instead the best strategy is to block, mute, and move on. People should feel uplifted when they visit an artist’s page, not caught in unnecessary drama. Besides which, you have no idea who that person is on the other end of the comment. You might be expending a lot of emotional energy fighting with a 14 year old who was just sent to their room by their parents. Don’t “clap back,” move on.
Similarly I now try to avoid any complaints I may have about anything at all, at least on my photography pages. Yes I’m upset by the guy who had 25 items in the self check-out lane. Does the world need to know that? No, no it doesn’t. And avoid politics at all cost! Enough said about THAT.
These simple changes made a significant difference in my online experience. By shifting my mindset and approach, I’ve fostered a more positive and engaging space; one where my work can resonate without distraction. I actively work on having my social feeds be a place where people can connect with my art, free from unnecessary commentary or disclaimers. Whether it brings joy, nostalgia, or introspection, the goal is to let the work speak for itself.
After all, art is meant to be experienced—not measured by likes.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.davidhellard.com
- Instagram: @dhellard_photography
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/davidhellardphoto
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-hellard-563a46b/
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