Meet Deb Rubin

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Deb Rubin. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Deb below.

Deb, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
I have always had huge respect of the human experience. I have a huge passion for self-discovery and growth, for myself and others. I love nothing more than helping others evolve in their own unique ways. As a therapist of over 20 years, I’m constantly awe-struck by the pure magic that can unfold when people jump into these beautiful life explorations.

I am a lover and a connector and although that hasn’t always an easy path and often filled with big emotions, sensitivity and heart break, I have learned how to use it as my super power and not something that makes me too vulnerable in the world.

Instead, I have discovered ways to help other people love and feel more deeply and trust in the power of deep connection. I bring them into each session I lead, and into every relationship I have. I have learned through my own need to connect how to make that my purpose in helping other people find ways to connect to the ones they love, without fear and identifying the blocks that get in the way.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
My name is Deb Rubin and I am a long-time Individual and Individual & Couple Psychotherapist in Boulder CO. I am also the founder of The Mother Daughter Journey, which is designed to help change the story that mothers and daughters have to be disconnected during the adolescent years. I myself am a mother of two adolescent girls, and I believe that this is a crucial time for mothers to be their daughter’s ally. I am passionate about helping people deepen connections. We live in a culture that sends the message that moms are supposed to put our hands up and hope that they will return when they are more mature and can see us as women. But what if it were different, and our daughters learned that we can actually be there steady force during these turbulent years.

Each mother-daughter relationship is personal and powerful and I encourage moms to trust their own parental intuition. The MDJ is designed to strengthen mother-daughter relationships (and those who identify or are socialized as daughters) through the adolescent years. My goal is to equip moms (and dads too because I have Dad Workshops as well) with the necessary tools and compassion to (re)discover your daughter and navigate your unique path forward. I am deeply committed to breaking through the cultural noise surrounding the predetermined disconnected years of mothering adolescent girls. I want to help parents to create a home where their daughter feels safe to be exactly who they are. I want our young girls to know and valued their self-worth based on the safety they feel in their homes.

I offer options 1-day person workshops for all the stages of this wild ride, including workshops for moms only of 9-11 year olds, middle schoolers, 9th-10th graders and even 2 hour workshops for Dads of Daughters! I also offer 2- Hour Virtual Deep Dives that include topics like Sexuality, Conscious Listening, and Counter-Will. My workshops are dynamic, educational, empowering and full of practical strategies. I also offer a Mom + Daughter workshop in the winter for middle school ages.

All workshops are open for registration now.

These are crucial times and adolescent girls need trusted adults more than ever. When this relationship feels steady and secure, you will be amazed at the kind of connection you can have and set them up for healthy connections throughout their lives.

For more info check out my website (www.motherdaughterjourney.co) or REGISTER here. And please feel free to reach out with any questions.

Lastly, Kate Kripke and I co-host a podcast called Motherhood Uncut which brings the parts of motherhood that nobody wants to talk about to the table. With humor, authenticity, clinical knowledge, research, and personal experience in mothering, we discuss and facilitate conversations about everything mothering-related including the good, the bad, the messy, and the hilarious.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
There are so many skill that go into deep connection and relationship building, but in my opinion the 3 most important qualities are:

1. Self Awareness; which means understanding your nervous system regulation and ways to stay present, understanding your triggers so that you can tend to yourself rather than projecting onto someone else. And personal responsibility. These are all very easy to say and very difficult to do. They take like long practice and patience. But they allow for deep relational skills and perspective.

2. Conscious Listening; we live in a world where we hear a lot of things and are very stimulated by bite size messaging but we also have lost the art of listening. This is also something that needs to be understood and practiced.

3. Repair; how to come back to an unfortunate incident and have perspective, ownership, honesty and boundaries. Conflict is normal and necessary, but the magic of relationship happens in the repair.

Tell us what your ideal client would be like?
As mentioned, I think most people thrive when they feel like someone knows them and has their back. I want to support parents in how to get to know their kiddo in order for their kid to thrive. This process will also increase the confidence for the parents. And when people walk around with a healthy confidence, their is more room for overall support and lifting each other up. True confidence in parents not only leads to confident children but it also removes the competitive nature that only gets in the way of connection.

So whether it is a client for my workshops or parent coaching, my ideal client is someone that believes in their own capacity for connection but often feels stuck, wants to to increase their connection with their child, is motivated to increase their confidence as a mother. People who understand and value the power, wisdom and necessity of a mother and daughter relationship.
People who want to be their daughter’s ally. People who want to integrate strategies and mindsets that will lead them to trust in their and their daughter’s capacity to be ok, to be capable, to be confident and to be solid.

And…

My work is for you if:
You’re struggling or overwhelmed with her big emotions, apathy, distance and intense reactions.
You’re having a difficult time getting through to your kiddo, influencing them or simply communicating the way you once did.
Their behavior or attitude feels hurtful and disrespectful.
You aren’t spending time with them the way you once were & you don’t feel important in their life.
You don’t feel like you know them right now.
You are anticipating an angsty teen and want to stay ahead of it.
You want to integrate habits and strategies that will set you up for success and connection.
You believe that you are willing to shift, even a little, to increase your capacity for connection & strengthen your relationship with you daughter.

Contact Info:

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