Meet Debbi Macfarlane-Clayton

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Debbi Macfarlane-Clayton. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Debbi below.

Hi Debbi, thank you so much for joining us today. There are so many topics we could discuss, but perhaps one of the most relevant is empathy because it’s at the core of great leadership and so we’d love to hear about how you developed your empathy?

When people talk about overcoming challenges, they often imagine a single moment. But my story is made up of many—18, to be exact. I’ve survived 14 miscarriages and 4 ectopic pregnancies.

It’s hard to even write those numbers. Harder still to describe what it feels like to lose something you never got to hold. Each time, I was flooded with grief, shame, and anger. I hated my body. I felt like it had betrayed me—again and again. And in the silence that often surrounds miscarriage, I started to believe the lie that because my body failed, I was a failure.

But that’s not where my story ends.

I realized I couldn’t live inside that pain forever. I had to reclaim myself. I had to learn to love a body that I had once seen as broken. I started small: I wrote “I love you” on a sticky note and stuck it to my rearview mirror. Every day, during my 12-mile drive to work, I repeated those words aloud. I also put a second note on my bathroom mirror: “I forgive myself.” These were tiny rituals, but they were the beginning of a very big healing.

I did what I call “empty chair” work—I sat with each of the children I never got to meet and spoke the words I never got to say. I worked with a healer to honor each spirit that had once been part of my body. It was sacred. It was messy. It was mine.

And over time, something miraculous happened: I began to feel whole again. Not because I got a different outcome—but because I gave myself a different story. I began to understand that motherhood isn’t limited to birth. Children have still shown up in my life—just in different forms. I see them in the students I’ve mentored, the clients I guide, and the people I hold space for as a spiritual teacher and psychic medium.

Today, I mentor women and entrepreneurs who are ready to reclaim their own clarity, confidence, and voice—especially when life hasn’t gone according to plan. I blend intuition, life experience, and practical tools to help people reconnect with who they really are.
This journey through grief built my empathy and transformed how I listen—not just with my ears, but with my heart and spirit.
Whether it’s through 1-on-1 sessions, group programs, or spiritual guidance, I help others feel seen, safe, and strong again. My journey through loss became the foundation of how I now walk beside others.

I speak openly about miscarriage—not just for myself, but for the many others who suffer silently. Miscarriage is misunderstood. It’s seen as something private, quick, or even clinical. But it’s none of those things. It’s painful. It’s complex. It’s deeply emotional. And it matters.

I want other women to know: Just because your body didn’t carry a child doesn’t mean you’re not a mother. And just because something ended doesn’t mean you’re not whole. You are not broken. You are not a failure. You are sacred.

One day, I may write a book about this journey—because this story deserves to live out loud. Until then, I’ll keep being a bridge to healing, clarity, and comfort—for others, and always for myself.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I’m a spiritual mentor, psychic medium, and speaker who helps people reconnect with their clarity, their courage, and their own inner truth. I work with individuals—especially women and entrepreneurs—who are navigating crossroads, grief, self-doubt, or the feeling that they’ve lost touch with who they really are.

What’s special about my work is that it’s deeply personal. I blend intuitive insight, life experience, and practical tools to meet people exactly where they are—with no judgment, just truth, connection, and compassion. My brand, Getting Real with Debbi, is all about being a bridge to answers, love, and a little bit of sass. Whether through private readings, clarity sessions, intention coaching, or group programs, I help people feel seen, safe, and strong again.

What excites me most is watching people come alive—when the fog lifts, when the truth lands, when the light in their eyes comes back. That’s the moment I live for.

Right now, I’m expanding my mentoring offerings and launching a signature program called Confidence Through Clarity, which blends public speaking, intuition, and soul alignment. I also offer a 6-month Intention Reading Special to help people set grounded spiritual direction for the rest of the year.

People don’t have to feel stuck, lost, or like they’re too late to begin again. I’m here to remind them that their answers aren’t gone—they’re just waiting to be bridged.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Looking back, the three qualities that had the biggest impact on my journey were resilience, empathy, and deep listening.

Resilience came from living through real loss—14 miscarriages and 4 ectopic pregnancies—and still choosing to heal, grow, and love again. I didn’t bounce back; I rebuilt. That taught me that resilience isn’t about being tough—it’s about being soft with yourself in the hard moments and choosing to keep going anyway.

Empathy came from learning how to sit with pain—mine and others’—without needing to fix it or rush past it. That skill is now the foundation of how I hold space for clients and students. You develop empathy by staying curious, not assuming, and learning to witness without judgment.

Deep listening is what transformed me into the mentor I am now. I don’t just listen with my ears—I listen with my heart, my intuition, and my full presence. If you’re just starting out, my advice is: Get still. Listen longer. Respond less. Trust more. The answers you’re looking for will rise when you create space to hear them.

My advice for anyone early in their journey?

Don’t wait to feel “ready”—start where you are, with what you have. The path reveals itself as you walk it.

Be gentle with yourself. Growth is rarely pretty in the beginning, but it’s always worth it. You don’t have to have all the answers—just a willingness to get curious.

Invest in building your inner clarity before chasing outer success. The more you know who you are, the less you’ll need approval from anyone else.

And finally—find people who see your light even when you don’t. Community, mentorship, and support aren’t luxuries. They’re fuel. You’re not meant to do this alone.

Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?

Three books that have deeply shaped my journey are How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, Zig Ziglar’s Treasury of Life Lessons, and The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino.

Each one taught me something powerful—not just about success, but about being human. Dale Carnegie helped me understand the importance of connection and kindness in leadership. Zig Ziglar reminded me that a positive mindset and consistent action create real impact. And Og Mandino’s book showed me the quiet, unstoppable strength of belief—especially in myself.

Those books helped me see that we are not meant to walk through life—or healing—alone. They taught me the power of our thoughts, and that even in our hardest moments, we can choose to keep going. Having a tribe—friends, mentors, spiritual allies—makes life richer and more meaningful. We rise stronger when we rise together.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.gettingrealwithdebbi.com