Meet Deborah J Fryer, Phd

 

We were lucky to catch up with Deborah J Fryer, Phd recently and have shared our conversation below.

Deborah J , we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.

In my 20s, I was trapped working dead end temp jobs to pay my rent. I was trading my time for dollars, working way too hard for way too little money and I was miserable.

I’ve always had vivid dreams that are like headlights, illuminating the path before me. Studying them and trusting them has helped me find my purpose.

In one especially vivid dream, my hands itched and burned. I looked down and saw my palms were covered with thousands of tiny black spots like ground pepper.

The black spots grew before my eyes and the pain intensified. The black spots turned green as thousands of bids and leaves poked through the flesh of my palms until I was holding a vibrant bouquet of flowers in my hands.

I woke up with a smile on my face. I knew I was holding my creativity in my hands, and it was time to let myself bloom.

It was clear that my creativity was inside of me, and eager to come out. I didn’t need to wait for permission to bloom. I was ripe. It was already happening.

Within a week, I had quit the temp jobs to pursue documentary filmmaking–a career I’d fantasized about but never had the guts to claim. With the clarity and vibrancy of the dream, I stepped fully into my purpose and for the next thirty years, travelled around the world creating education content for PBS, Nova, Frontline, Turner Broadcasting, History Channel, and many environmental organizations.

Whenever I doubt myself, I return to this vivid vision and sensation of my burgeoning creativity. I can literally feel my hands burning, and I know it’s time to level up.

Thomas Edison said, “Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious.”

I have trained myself to ask my subconscious mind to show me the answer to a problem by focusing on it as I fall asleep. Dreaming is such an intuitive thing for me. If I can just unearth the emotion that’s hiding below the surface, I can figure out what to do next.

That’s the secret to finding your purpose. What makes you come alive? What brings you joy? Discover that and never let it go.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I help my clients find their purpose and confidently live it.

I’m the creator of the Anatomy of Money holistic mind-body system for living and thriving emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually as your Whole Self (vs. certain parts of you being allowed to show up in certain situations, but you’re never able to fully self-express as yourself, or settle into a consistently abundant, joyful, turned on purposeful life).

I draw on ancient wisdom and modern neuroscience, storytelling and visualization to help my clients blast through subconscious patterns, disempowering beliefs and bad habits so they can become emotionally and financially free.

I’m kind of like an electrician: I help you reconnect those parts of you that blow a fuse, go dark, short circuit or disconnect when it gets hard (like talking about money, raising your rates, sales convos, crunchy convos with your partner, etc.).

I help you stay lit 24/7 — no matter what the external conditions are — so that you experience ease, flow, consistent income and freedom to be yourself authentically and enthusiastically.

I’m also like an archaeologist: I help you dig up old, valuable parts of you you’ve buried, thrown away, or forgotten about. I have x-ray vision into subconscious energy pattern and I can see where you’re hiding your light and dimming your brilliance.

I help you find and reclaim these parts of you so that you can operate from a place of wholeness, contentment and calm.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

1. Trusting my intuition. It’s so easy for the Mind to override the Gut. We’ve been conditioned to valorize the rational, the logical and the known and to discount the irrational, the magical and the unknown. To operate from the conscious mind alone leaves us exhausted, disempowered and in lack, because we are operating at only about 5% of our capacity,

2. Meditation has been a game changer. Meditation has taught me to watch my thoughts instead of being controlled by them. It has trained me to be clear, focussed, nonreactive and calm. It’s so much easier and more fun (and more lucrative) to live in peace instead of in pieces. I am grateful every day for my daily meditation practice that has instilled a deep well of calm and ease, no matter what’s going on in the outer world.

3. Your weird is your wealth. For the longest time, I was afraid to be myself because I thought I was too much, too weird, too creative, too out of the box, I was afraid people would judge me, reject me, make fun of me. Turns out that my uniqueness makes me stand out in a category of one, and so does yours. Trying to fit into someone else’s box is a sure recipe for your discontent. When we contort ourselves to please others, we lose a part of ourselves that’s valuable. You fit perfectly in you. Be not afraid of your magnificence of your worthiness. Own it.

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?

I was raised my a single mom. She was a full-time professor, and she didn’t have time or energy to do all the cooking for me and my sister. When I was ten, my single mom said, “I can’t do everything. You can read, so you can cook.”

Every Sunday morning, I pored through Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking, and picked out recipes that looked good to me — Gateau Omelette. Bouche de Noël. Beef Bourguignon — and
made a list of ingredients.

Later in the day, my mom and I went to the store. I found the ingredients I needed and put them in the cart. All week, I prepared gourmet meals for my mom, my sister and me.

This lesson, born of hardship, taught me so many valuable things that I use every day in my business.

Ask for support when you need it. You don’t have to do everything. It’s ok to ask for and receive help.

Plan what you need in advance for a successful meal. This applies to a launch, webinar, retreat, or any creative project. Have all the ingredients on hand so you can focus on the creation.

You don’t have to know how to do the thing before you do it. There’s usually someone who has done the thing before you. You can read, you can learn.

Cooking, like painting, writing, gardening, or being an entrepreneur, is part science and part art. There are certain techniques to follow, and there’s lots of room for your creativity to season the dish to your delight.

I’m so grateful that my mom needed help in the kitchen, because cooking has taught me the recipe for a happy, healthy, balance life.

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Image Credits

Photos by Edica Pacha (photos 1 and 2)

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