We recently connected with Deborah Mori and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Deborah, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?
Life has not been an easy path. I didn’t know throughout my childhood that the circumstances I was being raised in were not normal and I was repeatedly exposed to childhood and religious abuse that were normalized by those around me. My resiliency began as a child, I put my head down and tried to move past what I knew inside on a felt sense was chaos despite everyone else around me saying nothing is wrong. Finding out that these issues are not “normal” as an adult fueled my resiliency in a new way. To find a better way to do life. For myself and for others.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
Growing up in Orange County, CA with one identical twin sister and two parents that worked a lot and had very little emotional capacity, set me on a path to “figure things out” at a very young age. That felt normal as I didn’t have much exposure to other families that operated differently with kindness, compassion and patience. My path to get a job while finishing high school and then putting myself though college to be the first one in my family of origin with a BA became my goal I worked several jobs at a time, got married and had one beautiful son, all the while working as a graphic designer and painter. Shortly after the birth of my son my father died, I battled cancer and fought for a way to find purpose in my life. Then my twin sister died.
I had very few emotional resources and found myself stuck and feeling very lost with little direction. Seeing my two young nieces struggle with little help, I decided to put myself through graduate school to honor a life-long passion of psychology to help others who find themselves struggling.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Like many of us, I didn’t know what I didn’t know, so my soul journey happened later in life in my early 40’s. The impact of my journey unfolded with these qualities and skills: 1) Gratitude for a solid work ethic. I learned early on that work can be rewarding in many ways, and I attribute this to my father who worked 3 jobs. Although he wasn’t around much because he was always working, I learned to keep going and not give up. There is always a way though.
2) Thirst for Knowledge. I have always had a thirst for knowledge even though I wasn’t a great student. Having curiosity and wonder about how things work and how people operate also kept me moving forward, even many times without a destination in sight.
3) Ask for help. Having a life where asking for help was taboo, I ran out of steam trying to do everything by myself. Later in life I learned that asking for help is actually to be celebrated and it can make life so much easier.
My advice to humans on their journey is to get your hand dirty, in nature, in helping others, and in creating a robust life for yourself. Seek knowledge and learn… keep learning and it will keep you passionate. Let others come alongside you and help, we are not supposed to do life alone. A life of isolation will be the death of you.
All the wisdom you’ve shared today is sincerely appreciated. Before we go, can you tell us about the main challenge you are currently facing?
The biggest obstacle I am currently faced with is changing the attachment patterns in my family of origin so my young adult son and two nieces (who live with me) can live a different example of generational trauma responses. I notice the impulses to REACT in certain situations come up, and I have learned that we have choice to RESPOND in a different way (most of the time!) We do not have the power to change others, only ourselves. There is empowerment in knowing cognitively and on a body felt sense that we have choice to RESPOND.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.deborahmori.com
Image Credits
Captured by Agape
