We were lucky to catch up with Dellamarie Parrilli recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Dellamarie, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?
I believe resilience is a personal journey – not a trait that people either have or do not have; it involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone. It is the process of adapting in the face of adversity, trauma, or tragedy.
I also believe, it is our reaction that defines us and our lives. Having had more than my fair share of ‘challenges’ in life – a life and career with so many twists and turns that I should look like a pretzel — Seriously, many of my friends call me ‘the queen of bouncing back” … it’s true.
Although my life has been marked by hardship, challenge, and tragedy, it is ultimately defined by triumph and success. During my youth, my father was killed by a drunk driver, and three months later, my family, surviving a devastating house fire, were left homeless. Only 11 years old at the time, I embraced my creativity … music, writing and ART … I HAD FOUND MY VOICE. While earning a BA in music from DePaul University, I studied tap, jazz and ballet, improv at Second City, and funded my education doing theater, voice-overs, and singing in clubs – Heralded by the Las Vegas Press as a “triple threat” … with enough polish to make Johnson’s Wax jealous! and delivering a performance in Chicago so powerful that the Chicago Independent Bulletin called me “The greatest talent since Judy Garland at her peak “. I, of course, set my sights on Broadway – writing, rehearsing, and creating “JUDY: The Songs and Stories of A Legend.” As I was about to realize my dream, fate stepped in. I was immunocompromised, diagnosed Sjorgren’s Syndrome, a rare autoimmune disease, Adrenal insufficiency and Lyme Disease, doctors told me I would never sing again. Talk about devastating.
But … resilient, and I believe a born survivor, I emerged from this truly devastating period, spirit strong and my love of life undiminished, and I turned my ‘voice’ to my artwork. You might say, I simply put down my microphone and picked up a paint brush.
There is a great quote by Woodrow Wilson, “The difference between a strong man and a weak one (and I must take the liberty of adding woman!) is that the former does not give up after defeat.”
I believe, whether we realize it or not, that we can choose how we define our lives. I choose to define my life in terms of challenges faced, but more and most importantly the challenges overcome. We must take an introspective dive when circumstances are not as we wish … understand that no one is promised an easy road in life … and each ‘traumatic challenge’ an opportunity. My challenges have provided amazing and incredible content to and for my creative process and artistic expression.
We must develop perspective … here’s a recent example. a friend texted, ‘what a terrible day I’m having!’ I asked why? And I could not believe the response: “I came in, I wanted coffee, I went to the break room, but someone took all the coffee, milk and sugar, so, I had tea instead”. Seriously?! Boohoo. I could not believe it. Walk through any hospital ICU or emergency room, walk down the street and witness the homeless, look at the people just trying to survive another day in Ukraine … in other words, perspective! I believe we need to be grateful always for that which we do have; and continue working for what we want.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
These are very exciting and rewarding times for me … creatively and professionally.
As a multi-disciplinary artist, I am always searching for greater freedom of expression and depth, and while my work over the past 3 decades has always been wide ranging, ever changing and restlessly experimental, I have been laser focused in exploring that which is ‘beyond’ … working toward and ultimately breaking the confines of 2D painting. You see, artists may create two or three-dimensional pieces, depending on the art form being used. Flat surface variations, such as paintings, are considered two-dimensional while those bearing depth intrinsically, such as sculpting, are considered three-dimensional. That is until now. I’m thrilled to say that I have broken the barrier. I have gone beyond the limits of 2D painting – into the dimensionality of 3D … without illusions or tricks… and I believe that I am the first to do so. These paintings must be seen to be believed! I am so proud to be the painter, the woman painter, breaking barriers and ushering in a new era for Abstract Expressionism – breaking barriers, painting beyond the limits of 2D, truly painting in 3D… it is awesome!
Peter Frank, the renowned art critic and curator, and I are working together and collaborating. He is curating and writing about these new works and has chosen 28 pieces, as well as selected pieces from my vast body of work – which includes oils, watercolors and acrylics, for a solo exhibition scheduled at the Hardin Cultural Center running from August 16, 2023, through December 31, 2023.
Additionally, I’m working with KTC & Associates out of New York, on another solo exhibition, an expansive virtual Retrospective which will open online this year.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Great question! Qualities, skills and knowledge … essential and truly the dream team of human potential. These resonant and impact our lives, personally and professionally; they color our sense of self. For me, given the ‘journey’ I have had, I believe the top three qualities for our sense of self, purpose and success are resilience, the ability to adapt … persistence with a ‘heaping measure’ of patience … and self-knowledge and creative thinking. Major success seldom comes easily or without a great deal of effort. Often the only difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is the ability to adapt and keep going. It’s relatively easy to persist when things are going well, but it takes persistence to keep going despite major setbacks and a lack of success.
Persistent people want ‘it’ – they really want ‘IT” … and they never look for an excuse or a way out. What keeps highly persistent people going is their powerful level of desire. I don’t recall who said, “If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” I love that quote and I believe that to be true. I say, if you’re knocked down, get up, brush yourself off, keep going and growing.
Repeated failures, dead ends, and times when it seems like no progress is being made often come right before any major breakthroughs. Persistent people have the inner energy and intensity to keep them motivated and going, through good times and bad. Talent, education, even genius mean very little if persistence is lacking. Is not the journey, for each of us, a series of dead ends, detours, and adjustments until … until we reach our destination?
I believe in combination with persistence, we must also have adaptability. Our ability to adjust and adapt, as we reach for the stars. Afterall, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Adaptability is creative thinking which leads to invention which leads to opportunity.
And most importantly, I believe a sense of self – your true self, is essential – It is only then that we can be our best self. Aristotle said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” In the fullest sense of the meaning, knowing self is all encompassing – our strengths, our belief system, our moral and ethical code, as well as all the things that motivate. Who are we as individuals? And who were we before we were told who we should be? In order to be true to your true self we must first know who we are. Only then can we know and celebrate our unique identities.
Advice for others- Robert F. Kennedy said it best,
“Only those who dare to fail greatly, can ever achieve greatly”.
Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?
There have been many major incredible influencers throughout my life, from birth to the very present … all strong, remarkable women! First and foremost, my mother Jean who inspired me and is the foundation of who I am and all that I am today. She was a petite dynamo, way ahead of her time and far from the typical ‘woman’ of that era. She was full of joy and laughter, courage and strength. As a child, I watched and learned as she turned tragedies into triumphs; watched as she joked when life was no joke. I never realized at the time that I too would face many tragedies and losses. It was that foundational learning, hardwired into the fabric of my being, that gave me strength, perspective, and faith.
Another woman instrumental to my art career was Muriel Kallis Steinberg Newman, who began collecting American Abstract Expressionistic art in the late 1940’s – Works by such masters as Jackson Pollock, willem de Kooning, Franz Kline just to name a few. Today her collection hangs in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Muriel and I, met by chance, fate I believe. It was 2001 at my very first solo exhibition in Chicago at the Fine Arts Building. Muriel, one of the most intriguing women I’ve ever met, approached me. She introduced herself as Muriel. We walked together going from one painting to another talking … she was fascinating … I was utterly intrigued. She then, suddenly stopped, looked deep into my eyes and said, “I don’t buy art anymore, but if I did, I would buy all of your purple paintings.”
At the time, I had no idea who she was! We exchanged contact information and made plans for a studio visit. Can you imagine my surprise and delight … the career affirming shock when I discovered that my Muriel was THE Muriel Kallis Steinberg Newman!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.parrilli.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dellamarieparrilli/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dellamarieparrilli/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=E2A7DDsYjIc
- Other: https://www.PARRILLIwear.com
Image Credits
David Rosing
