Meet Denise Warner

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Denise Warner. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Denise , so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?

When I came out in 1997, it was to my husband at the time. I had been going to therapy to try understand my feelings about women and it became clear to me, I was a lesbian and I was about implode my marriage and possibly every other relationship. Thankfully, my ex husband, family, in-laws and friends were supremely supportive and I’m grateful for that. Over the next few years, I realised that I didn’t want to squander my luck. I focused on other people’s Coming Out stories, dove into my own local LGBTQIA community and was looking for a way to amplify my voice for the community. I tried a few things; going to monthly local discussion meet-ups, going to events at my local LGBTQ community center and it dawned on me that there had to be a wider reach to share my thoughts, resources, news, and relevant information.

I bounced around a bit, until I found an early morning FM gay radio show. I met with the host and he gave me a FIVE MINUTE slot to talk about lesbian “things” on his 60 minute gay man-focused show. It was empowering, even if it was a tiny blip. After the station was bought and the show canceled, I was contacted by the old producer to try “internet radio” and asked me to come pitch ideas to the company he was now working for. I did. It was gold, until it wasn’t. I fulfilled a 30 month contract, being irreverent, crass, hilarious which was exactly what THEY wanted and after a while, I realised I didn’t want to be THAT person. That shock jock-type, really exploiting the lack of rules that applied to the internet back then.

By 2006, I was feeling like I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and it wasn’t there, at that company. I began searching for a place to I’d be a better fit. I pitched my ideas to the owner of a gay internet dance music website that streamed music worldwide. He loved the idea and immediately set the wheels in motion for what would become “The Lesbian Lounge” Podcast. He set up me and my team (literally, my best friends) with equipment, and painstakingly taught us how to use it. Back then, there wasn’t much out there in the way of LGBTQ Podcasts, because no one really knew what a podcast was. I didn’t care, though. I knew we were onto something big. In June of 2006, on a Wednesday evening, we launched “The Lesbian Lounge” Podcast live on the GIRL (Gay Internet Radio Live) Radio website. If we reached 30 people, it was a lot. Add to it, they were likely gay men, and it felt a bit deflating. But we carried on. I would work tirelessly all week to find queer news stories, resources, places, projects, and people to spotlight in our two hour time slot, that myself and co-host Donna would discuss. We had a live phone line, an 800 number, a live chat room, support from the owner and his team, and we finally began to gain some traction.

By 2008, we were catching the attention of Curve Magazine, The Dinah, SHE Magazine, local news and were being featured regularly, hosting Pride Festivals up and down our home state of Florida. It was then that emails started coming in. We were being heard. What I was slowly realising was that we were reaching lesbians all over the WORLD. The emails that were coming in to us were from places like Ukraine, Ireland, the U.K., Canada, the rural mid-west of the United States, and the common thread was “I’m so glad I found your podcast and I feel like I have two lesbian best friends that I really need because….” -and sometimes it was because it wasn’t safe for them to be out, they hadn’t come out yet, they didn’t have a circle of queer friends, they didn’t have support, they didn’t fit in or their family wouldn’t approve. They could relate to us. We were being as real as we could be, talking about our experiences having both been married to men, coming out later in life, how our families reacted, and how we navigated it all. We talked about what we were watching on TV, events we had been to, we did funny segments about online dating, we shared info on websites, places, bars, safe spaces all over the world and upcoming projects from queer filmmakers, authors, musicians, actors and more with listeners. Our live interactive chat room was always full and lesbians were forming friendships and connections every week. We started getting great guest interviews with people like Jane Lynch, Ilene Chain, the cast of The L Word, Melissa Etheridge, Sharon Gless, Taylor Dayne, Fortune Feimster, Kate McKinnon, Julie Goldman, Jill Bennett, Franco Stevens and more.

We did the show every Wednesday without missing a date. Fifty Two shows a year, consistently. In late 2009 , our owner and mentor called into the show live and announced that we had hit “the million download” mark. Later in the year, as his career was changing, he sold us the website, the content, the trademarks, logo and we had become the proud owners of what we had created just three years prior. We would continue for the next 10 years, and in 2016, with all the content out there for the world, the friendships we had made, ours and more, still in tact, for a few different reasons (all good), we decided to stop. What a ride it was. There were plenty of ups and downs, learning curves, messy business things we had to figure out, but overall, the good far outweighed anything else. I met my Australian wife through the podcast, got married and moved to London. My co host landed her dream job. I still have the connections, relationships and friendships with most of the LGBTQ people I met during those years. I still meet people to this day, whether I’m back in Florida or in the UK that know of “The Lesbian Lounge”, have a lovely anecdote about it, tell me what it meant to them and it will alway make me proud that through coming out, sharing, finding my voice- I found my purpose. It must be in my blood now, because I’m still podcasting. “The Rainbow Remix” was created in 2021 and going strong, with the same mission- to spotlight our LGBTQIA Community.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

Since starting a podcast in 2006, I’ve been committed to using my voice for our worldwide LGBTQIA community. Over the years, I’ve learned how difficult it is for queer people to find footing, funding, or press for their hard work. Mainstream media, major companies, studios, agencies, often brush us off making it hard to get eyes or ears on projects or find investors, homes, or raise funds to get off the ground. It’s more than 15 years later and sadly, we’re still in the same boat.

I took a break from hosting in 2017, after we stopped doing “The Lesbian Lounge” Podcast. I shifted my focus to producing shows for young, new queer podcasters and would put them on my audio feed. I did interviews for a lot of different media outlets and shows. I moderated podcasting panels at different queer events including ClexaCon. As I was winding down, though, I couldn’t help but feel like things were sort of going backwards and it bothered me.

In 2021, my old friend and musician JD Danner of South Florida reached out to me during the pandemic and said “Would you be interested in podcasting again? We could be the most socially distanced show, with me in Florida and you in London!” I thought about how much easier podcasting was now, we could Zoom, we could create a YouTube Channel for our content now as well, and as usual, I knew our LGBTQIA community could always use spotlighting. I said yes to JD and we went to work. After a few hit or miss ideas, we fleshed out a show where we would spotlight the (global) queer projects, ideas, books, music, community leaders, films, web series, business owners, and trends, that have a positive impact on our people. “The Rainbow Remix” was created and is now out there for the world. I’ve linked it to our old MyLesbianRadio.Podbean.com feed so the “The Lesbian Lounge” audience is built in, and we’re already growing it. I love being able to call on friends like comedians Dana Goldberg and Suzanne Westenhoeffer, actors Michelle Clunie, Scott Lowell, Sharon Gless, Michelle Bonilla and authors like Frank DeCaro as well business owners, filmmaker friends and now queer people I’ve met here in the UK, after 12 years being here, to be on the new show to share their music and projects. It’s like a never-ending journey of sharing.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Skills can be learned, which is fantastic, but I think you’ve got to possess the will and deeper interest in what you’re learning about. When I started podcasting, I was all about being the host, the face, the voice. After a few years, I wanted to know about the technology, the reach, the numbers, the promotion, the marketing. So, I’d say, really dig into what it is you want and learn all you can about it. Most importantly, KEEP learning about it, because things change and evolve quickly nowaday.

I knew I had the personality for hosting a podcast, I’ve alway been funny, witty and generally interested in people so I was happy taking the lead in researching the guests and their projects yet having fun with them in an interview, keeping it light and casual was my wheelhouse and I think guests were comfortable with that as well as listeners. So, I stayed consistent about that. One of the main things I’ve learned is consistency is key. It was never more apparent than during the pandemic when every actor, A-list to D-List celebrities got bored and started podcasting. they would throw up an episode sporadically here and there, and yes, it would get three million streams but never knowing when the next episode was coming was frustrating for the listener. I never wanted that for our listeners. I wanted them to know that I’d be there every week, come hell or high water, exactly like a friend with a weekly meet up on the calendar. I think it builds trust, loyalty and commitment.

In 2024, I read a stat that said there are over 4.3 million podcasts out there now. When I started in 2006, in just our LGBTQIA community, there were about 25. There were no statistics about money, marketing or advertising, The podcasting market has grown into a $27 billion industry. In 2024, the global podcasting market will hit $34 billion. The market is expected to grow at a CAG Rate of 27.8% to $233.9 billion by 2032. So, overall, maybe a saturated market, but for us Queer folks, we’ll find the one for us. I’ll always want to be that podcast, whether it’s audio or video. I have faith the LGBTQIA people will find us, like us and follow us. We won’t let them down.

What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?

Accept me.
Love me.
Support me.

My father passed away in 1989 when I was 19. I’m an only child. My mother is my hero in many ways because of those three things I listed above. When she re-married in 1993, I was a little worried because the guy was SO different from my father. I got my wit, sense of humour, likability factor and charm from my father. He was a big fish in a little pond, and he was a large presence anywhere he went. He was also a bit selfish, and self centred, in many ways. My stepfather is a quiet, stoic, solid man that I’ve grown to love so much. He doesn’t have a selfish bone in his body and has stepped up in ways that are indescribable. My mother was diagnosed with Progressive MS when she was 54. Over the years, she’s had to quit working, use a cane, then a walker and now a wheelchair. My stepdad is an amazing caregiver. I can’t imagine my Dad would have been. I’ve learned what strength in the face of adversity really means from my mother and my stepfather.

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Image Credits

All property and credited to Denise Warner, JD Danner, Donna Solomon-Carter

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